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DVD Reviews: Funny People, Year One, Drag Me to Hell

FUNNY PEOPLE–We can always count on Judd Apatow and company to make a “Special Edition” DVD worth buying, and Funny People is no exception. I picked up the Blu-Ray **coughcoughdouchecoughcough* copy and I was amazed at the extra content. The disc contains a Theatrical and Extended version of the movie, which ends up being about 3 hours long, along with hours upon hours of cut scenes and extra footage that didn’t make it to the final version.

With the amount of shit cut out of this movie, Apatow could have made a film of Peter Jackson proportions..but I’m glad he didn’t. I loved Funny People and the hilarious clips that didn’t make it into the final film just make it that much more enjoyable.

The disc also contains clips from Adam Sandler’s ridiculously fake movies within the movie, heartfelt scenes from the mock-sitcom Yo Teach…! featuring Jason Schwartzman, and laughably outdated stand-up material from Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, and Judd Apatow.

The “Collector’s Edition” of Funny People is absolutely worth buying. It’ll take you about a day to watch everything.

YEAR ONE–I wasn’t sure enough about this movie to even pay to see it in theaters, so I’m certainly glad I didn’t pay to own it on DVD. I’m not even sure it was worth renting. Let’s be clear, the movie wasn’t a total piece of shit/waste of time, but it certainly isn’t memorable or “good.”

I’ve had fun watching every actor in this film in the past, but Harold Ramis fucked this one to death. The gross-out jokes weren’t even ridiculous enough to be the least bit humorous, and the story essentially went nowhere.

A more believable depiction of Prehistoric life...

I wanted to like this movie…really…I wanted to like it. I just couldn’t. The irreverent biblical stories weren’t enough to save this film. You will laugh watching it, but then you’ll instantly forget what you found so humorous when you remember there’s still an hour left.

Maybe it’s my fault. I watched the extended version. Perhaps that was my folly. The only way to describe my experience with this film is to say: Imagine you were sinking in the ocean, as you helplessly begin to drown and slowly reach the ocean floor, a clown fish swims right by your face and farts.

DRAG ME TO HELL–I almost regret not seeing this film in theaters, as it almost certainly would have been a better experience than watching it at home. I try to create a theater atmosphere in my house, but this movie deserves to be viewed at night, in the dark, not in the middle of the day.

The movie itself isn’t “great,” but very few horror films are. Sam Raimi has a style of horrific and grotesque that leaves a lot to be desired when he’s pushing for a PG-13 rating. Perhaps my hard-on for Alison Lohman allowed me to give this movie an easy pass…but I’m a PC owner, so Justin Long can suck it.

There were several “jump” scenes here, but the film doesn’t rely on them completely. Having said that, this film can’t be taken seriously because it doesn’t take itself seriously. If you’ve seen Evil Dead 2, you’ve basically seen Drag Me To Hell.

It wasn’t bad–I suppose. The blood gags, old lady mucus, fists in mouths, and pussy stabbing made this movie fairly enjoyable. Maybe the next time Raimi comes out with a movie, I’ll pay to see it in a dark theater…as long as it’s better than Spider-man 3.

Alex G/

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Mr. Tony Danza? Is it too late to drop out?

janinebwA new reality show on A&E will be filmed in a Philadelphia high school starring Tony Danza.  That’s right kids! Danza will be co-teaching English to Northeast high school, which is interesting considering that he is barely qualified to speak English, himself. Danza has stated that he always wanted to get into teaching, before acting. To my surprise, the buzz around the city has become quite a frenzy surrounding this idea of a show. For many reasons, I for one, cannot see this thing lasting.

I mean, who wants to see Tony Danza teaching English—of all things? When he starred in television’s “Taxi”, he was the butt of many jokes.  This may have been because he always resembles and portrays the stereotype of a dumb Italian hottie.  Remember his quirky lines in Taxi?

Alex: I don’t understand, why can’t you do it?

Tony: I can’t be alone with him! I’m the one he spends tortured nights dreaming about!

Alex: He said that?

Tony [shrugging]: No, I’m just assuming.

Oh yeah Tony Banta, your sooooo attractive.  Every girl wants to date a taxi driver, or better yet a male maid.

At least having this guy as a teacher will create future patients for child psychiatrists.

At least having this guy as a teacher will create future patients for child psychiatrists.

Which brings me to “Who’s the Boss?”  Tony played basically the same character above (and in his real life), who moves into a divorced business woman’s house to be her family’s maid.  To further tarnish his life, Danza was arrested just before the show aired in NYC for fighting at a bar, and received numerous charges for assault and battery.  Do you want this guy teaching your kids?

I guess we should just be glad he’s not teaching Go Cart racing.

So basically, the city of Philadelphia is gaining a douche for a teacher (nothing too new).  But Danza seems like he does actually care – releasing this statement (philly.com):

“I’m so scared. You have no idea,” Danza said in a phone interview Thursday, “I can tap-dance, but I don’t know if I can make kids learn yet.”

What?!?! What do you mean scared?  You’re finally getting your big break!  Don’t worry. Mayor Nutter’s got your back,

“There are too many negative images of our city’s young people and schools on television,” Nutter wrote, “I believe that ‘Teach’ represents a unique opportunity to highlight many of our city’s dedicated teachers and administrators, and the talented students they serve.”

Well said, Mr. Nutter. Even though Philadelphia is a struggling, low-income school district with an insane amount of high school drop outs, with about half of the city’s students are considered proficient in reading and math, the important thing is that we’re giving Tony Danza a chance to dick around for the sake of reality TV ratings.

It’s called, “Teach” and should start production soon. Courage.

Janine

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