I should have known better than to think my uphill battle with our good friends the Juggalos (along with non-denominational fans of Insane Clown Posse) was anywhere close to being over.
In an entry posted on December 21, 2008, I recently received the following Comment:
“sad thing is, all of you stupid fucking dipshits can’t say the shit to our faces, cause your too afraid we’ll fuck you all up, why don’t you grow the balls to say the shit to our faces insted of acting like a coward.
(^SIC)
Well, needless to say, I was hurt very deeply by this obvious misunderstanding, so, in a Comment back to ~Mastodon~666, I attempted further clarification:
“I’d like to issue a formal apology to you, Mastodon.
While I can not apologize for my feelings, specifically, I can understand why you are so upset. Perhaps I was being too hard on you.
I mean, it’s the 21st Century, for cryin’ out loud. There’s absolutely no reason why myself and functionally retarded people like you and your fellow ‘Juggalos’ can’t attempt to talk this all out.
…except for the fact that it might be difficult to understand you while your mouths are all full of Faygo and cock.
I’d also have to respectfully disagree with your run-on sentence about how I’m too scared to say all of this to your face.
If I knew you (and trust me, I don’t want to) I would probably have no problem saying it to your face.
…of course you may have to stay several feet away, due to the potential contagiousness of whatever degenerative disease that makes all of you people so fucking ridiculous.
There’s absolutely no shame in being developmentally disabled. I’m sorry if you were inadvertently offended by my remarks in this post.
But, seriously, stick by your aging, sell-out, washed-up, illiterate clowns, and I’ll continue to stick up for the honest and true music fans who don’t consider “Horse-shit” a viable genre.
After all, if you quit now, sensibility wins!
Until next time, stay down with the clown.
–Alex“
I can only hope that some omnipotent being can understand my true feelings and intentions and relay the message, on behalf of myself and the rest of the world, to these disgruntled red-necks who can’t seem to get over a novelty rap-rock group from the 1990′s.
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