Tag Archives: west

Honey West’s Ridiculous Porn Titles I’ve Known and Loved

honey11As a porn website reviewer for XXXpwnage.com, I’ve   seen a huge number of sites, scenes, and performers over the past couple of years doing lots of wild and weird things. It’s been quite an interesting experience and I’ve learned a lot in the process (well, maybe I shouldn’t admit that!), but I thought it would be entertaining to share with you some of the funnier website titles that I’ve encountered along my smut journey.

Let’s face it, nearly all  porn titles are  inherently pretty crazy, but some stick in my mind a bit more than others.   Even though these titles  are funny,  the  sites themselves are pretty good and  I’ve reviewed  many of them, so it’s not a reflection whatsoever  on their  content. Midget porn, amputee porn, granny porn….it’s quite a  ride!  So, here’s a brief sample of the titles that I’ve found to be  particularly funny (or disturbing?)…

Midgetcum.com
TheAmputee.com
NanaFunk.com
CumonmyGlasses.com
Mofos.com
FistFlush.com
Lolly Badcock.com
Granny Ghetto.com

Cum Fiesta.com
Little Mutt.com (not mutts by any means,  erotic chicks!)
Pee Pee Babes.com
Salami Brothers
(Comedy Porn – hey, who wouldn’t  want to fuck a chick dressed like Raggedy Ann at a lemonade stand?)
Goth Gang Bang.com

With the porn industry’s super competitive   need to cater to every imaginable sexual niche, genre and fetish out there,  they work overtime to accomplish their sacred  mission: keeping you pervs happy!

In addition to these  real porn site titles, I thought it would be amusing to make a fictional list of  websites I’d like to see,  and with so much smut swirling through my brain, it was embarrassingly easy! As easy as falling off a log (or a cock!  am I blushing?  naaaaaaaaah! I forgot how to blush awhile ago!).

Who knows,  you might actually run across some of  these  titles  someday! ( I suppose all the porn producers reading this just got a lot of   freaky new ideas for free. Damn!)

Without further adieu, here are the ridiculous porn titles I’d like to see:

You Broke My Dick, Bitch!.com
Eat  My 90 Inches.com
Nursing  Home Orgy.com
Spit  On My Wife.com
Fuck My Stump.com
Cooking With Cum.com
Bondage For Dummies.com
My Daughter Fucks Better Than Your Daughter.com
10 Million Tranny Gang Bang.com
ClubDildo.com
Yeast Infection Cam.com
Tit Monsters.com
(hmm, that might already be out there!)
Erotic Vegetables.com
Euromaniac Cum Dumpsters.com
Disco Sex.com
Diaper My Daddy.com
Blowjob Cheerleader Zombies.com
Chokefest.com
VampireGynecologists.com
ElectrocuteMyHoles.com
AmateurCoedDrunks.com
FuckMyArmpits.com
QuadruplePenetration.com
RapingForDollars.com
Clownsex.com
VintageWhores.com

I could go on all day with this creative little project,  but I think you get the idea.

Obviously,  I’ve been reviewing wayyy too much porn to “cum” up with a twisted list like this!  So,  I’ll take a healthy  time out now,  sipping my conservative cup of  Earl Gray tea and reading a Harlequin  romance to purify my soul.

Yeah, right!  Without crazy titles,  porn  wouldn’t be the porn we all know and love – what would the world be without  The Amputee doing his thing?  (albeit carefully balanced on one leg! Or is it two? lol)

If I have  aroused your curiosity  about   the   sites we’ve reviewed with   titles like Midgetcum.,   Little Mutt  or Lollybadcock (UK porn at its finest), visit  XXXpwnage.com and read our reviews  – you’re sure to find a lot more weird stuff  lurking around………guaranteed!

Honey West (Adult Web Reviewer)

(return to MAIN PAGE)

2 Comments

Filed under Arts, Charity, Fun Stuff, Porn, Purchases, Review

Celebrity Horseshit: “Nigga Stole My Mic!”

alexbwAs long as it’s a hot topic, let’s discuss the actions of Kanye West during the MTV VMA’s, shall we? First of all–the actions took place at an award ceremony so ridiculous and unimportant–a locale so prone to spectacle–that its entire title is an acronym. Even in its name, it is screaming, “This is an entertainment show…it is not–we repeat NOT–a legitimate award ceremony.” It’s like the motherfucking Teen Choice Awards, people…grow the fuck up.

Another person who needs to grow the fuck up is Kanye West (see, I’m on your side, too).

There is a serious disconnect between his talent and his ego, and that needs to find its way into Check Mate as soon as humanly possible. Jay-Z describes West as a “genius.” Fact. I would disagree with Mr. Z, respectfully. Kanye West is not a genius. He’s an artist and a talented musician, no doubt. However, genius describes a certain knowingness and a level of unprecedented brilliance that comes along every once in a blue moon.

Say Say Say what you want!

Say Say Say what you want!

Let’s take The Beatles for example. As musicians, would you consider them to be “genius?” That’s a real question. Feel free to comment…because I don’t know. I would consider them the best band in musical history…but are they more “genius” than Beethoven? Mozart?

If Kanye West is “genius,” where does that leave Jay-Z? He would never say that West is better than he is…so what does that make Hova? Is Jay-Z some kind of god-man?

I’m getting off topic…excuse me. Let’s look at a random Facebook comment:

“kaynes a racist mother fucker who deserves to get shot”

Really? At what point between, “George Bush doesn’t care about Black People,” and, “I’m really happy for you…but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time,” do we say: That’s it Kanye…someone should shoot you down.…???!?!?!

Hey, remember how you thought 2Pac was still alive?

Hey, remember how you thought 2Pac was still alive?

First off, nobody should get shot; no matter if you’re a merely loud-mouth rapper or a Neo-Nazi fuckhead…nobody should be gunned down. Ever.

I’m sure that this individual on Facebook wasn’t thinking with a clear head, but anyone who actually thinks this should probably stay indoors for their entire life.

(Rewind) Taylor Swift is a talented young artist and she deserved her moment in the sun…and Kanye West “ruined” that. Beyonce (wife of Kanye West’s BFF Jay-Z) had the decency to give Taylor Swift her moment back. But did Kanye’s actions really hurt Taylor Swift? Undoubtedly, she’s received more recognition NOW than EVER!

OK, but can she ACT?

OK, but can she ACT?

My fucking MOM probably never heard of Taylor Swift…and now her news channels are buzzing her name all day. Are you happy now, America? Now EVERYONE knows who Taylor Swift is!

Does Taylor Swift have more talent and potential than Beyonce? Of course not…but that doesn’t mean she should be denied her spotlight.

It wasn’t even for fucking BEST SONG…it was for BEST VIDEO! Should fucking any fucking artist be recognized for their music video?! FUCK NO!

The music video is solely the vision of the people who MADE that video.

America…MTV…it’s time to chillax (white people are the only people who use that term anymore anyways). Kanye, you’re never going to gain anything by pulling this shit. And the next time your publicist tells you to apologize, say “no.” That way, only the people who actually like you will continue to pay attention.

FACT: Paul McCartney has actually SEEN a black man.

FACT: Paul McCartney has actually SEEN a black man.

In conclusion, America, we have so much shit on our plate right now. This is a distraction–to say the least–from real issues and real problems. I’m not going to tell you what to think. I want YOU to tell ME how you feel. But to sum it up, for me, I’d be fine laughing at Kanye’s antics while appreciating his music.

Music is one of the strongest things humanity has going for it. It’s bigger than politics; bigger than religion. Music will always be around; and if you throw out Kanye West, there’s a fucking billion other up-and-coming young artists to take his place…your college room-mate is just too fucking lazy to be famous. Isn’t writing easier when you just polished off a bottle of Brandy?

Alex G/

(return to MAIN PAGE)

4 Comments

Filed under Arts, Charity, Events, Fun Stuff, Hot News, Irrationality, Mistakes, Music, News, Rant, Television, Top Story