Tag Archives: toys
If you follow my Twitter (@BellaVendetta66) you may have noticed my slight crush that is quickly turning to infatuation with adult performer Jayda Diamonde. Jayda inspired me become a cam performer for the company she works for (StreaMate) and since then I’ve been in awe of the webcam shows she does!
She’s known for taking insanely large toys in her pussy AND ass. With her small frame and wispy blonde hair and ability to gape her perfect little holes she’s the crush object of many men and women worldwide. Her fans all seem to fall in love with her and I have been no exception. I thought I would share my new obsession with Jayda with the rest of the interwebs so we got a chance to chat via email and I found out a little bit more about one of my favorite sluts!
SO many people know you as the “Queen of Extreme” how did you get this title?
Jayda Diamonde: Well, My husband is a marketing and promotional guy and he truthfully just came up with that title and it kind of stuck over the years… if you’ve ever seen one of my live shows at www.JaydaDiamonde.com or any of my Evil Angel movies, you would easily understand, lol.
Not only are you on cam, but you’ve also starred in several adult films, do you focus on one more than the other these days?
I do. My focus is on live cam where, as you may have heard, I was just announced at the Xbiz award ceremony in LA as Streamate.com‘s #1 income earner for 2010. I use commercial DVD’s to further my webcam career and I guess to some extent, visa versa. But I like being my own boss, working from home and I run a very successful studio as well, that you happen to be a part of as well at www.CamSharks.com and that takes a lot of my time up. I love helping girls looking to make a full time income and set themselves apart from the crowd, find the alternative to daily go-sees, bad agents and flying all over the country, which is to take charge and be your own boss… webcam can do that for anyone that puts in the time and dedication required to succeed.
Your so well known for putting HUGE toys in your pussy AND ass, when did you discover you had this talent? Was it a long time working up to it? Something you have to practice at to stay good at?
I’ve always been a little sexpot. Willing to try new things at a moments notice. I love the feeling of having my holes filled to capacity and the huge toys just grew out of that. Ive always loved anal and it makes me cum so fast and hard. Once I realized I could get out from under the producers and take charge, I was all in and dedicated myself to becoming one of the top webcam girls in the world!
I notice you use a lot of toys from bighardfast.com is this the place you recommend people go for huge toys?
Yes… I have an endorsement agreement with them and they are a pleasure to work with. (remember that guys at contract renewal time!, lol)
Do a lot of fans send you toys to be able to use for shows?
Surprisingly no. It has happened, but not often. I assume it is because if you have ever seen my webcam studio you would see that between the 2 fucking machines and 200 toys from big to small, plugs to whips, beads to inflatables, I pretty much have every type of toy a guy (or girl) would ever want to see! Plus, my toys are EXPENSIVE… making them cost prohibited for most fans.
You JUST won #1 chathost of the year for Streamate at the Xbiz awards! Congrats! You seem to be Streamates‘ almost non official spokesperson, you were even in their TV commercial! Can you talk about your role and involvement with the company?
I was recruited to Streamate a few years ago and was told how Streamate would be the place for me to build a career in cam that would take me to the next level. I was promised more paying traffic then I had ever seen on a site before and that was it… I went for it! I made over $6,000 my first week. I know it sounds like thats not possible, but it IS! One of the main problems with cam girls is they treat the job like a hobby and spend all their time screwing around looking for underpaid shoots.
They work 2 hours every other day and expect to make $300,000.00. Not going to happen, here or anywhere. Then they spend all their time complaining about money… lol, I dont understand the mentality. I put my energy and focus into being a success and didn’t stop. I work 60 hours a week from my studio and make an very comfortable mid six figure income, just from live cam.
Being a top producer and untiring worker at Streamate, I simply rose to the top and was eventually offered a spot in the TV commercial, which as sooo cool to shoot. Streamate and their staff are unquestionably the BEST in the business. I have worked for F4F, Ifriends, ImLive and others… you could wrap all the traffic those sites have into one and still not be at Streamates’ level.
These guys just KNOW their business and I am proud to be associated with them. I actually had no idea I was the #1 overall income earner till that night at the Xbiz awards! I was shocked! I’m not a spokesperson, but anyone that knows me knows I speak my mind… you don’t gotta like it or even listen to it… but nobody’s going to stop me from saying it. If I like you, you’ll know it… if I don’t, you’ll know that too! lol.
Do you ever do girl/girl cam shows with any other models or is it just you strictly solo?
Yes, of course. I have a second room at Streamate called “ExtremeTeam” where I do live g/g shows with other Camsharks models from my studio. I love doing the g/g shows and so do my fans!
Unlike most camgirls who are broadcasting from their bedrooms, you have a WHOLE room/studio with remote controlled camera and backdrops etc. When did you decide to take camming seriously as a full time job?
Well that question is very simple to answer. The day I had another producer try and low ball me again and my first check came for over $6,000 a day later. From that point forward… I’m ALL IN! And thanks to that strategy, I am no longer low-balled, because if you dont want to pay me to shoot, I simply wont do it. I don’t need the money from movie shoots, I do a very select few movies a year now to keep my name fresh in the business and build my livecam and studio business models.
I love shooting for Jaysin from Evil Angel Video. He is a fair producer, pays and treats me right and has a no bullshit policy on the set. Come in and do your scenes, get paid and go fly home… that’s my idea of a professional and EA has that all wrapped up, like Streamate! I am no longer used by the film companies, I use them! My extensive studio setup is a simple matter of investing in yourself. I put my money back into my business and grow it!
You certainly had a lot to do with inspiring me to cam more! Do you have any advice or info to share with girls you may be just starting off on cam sites?
Join through a reputable studio that has good help, training and customer service. Check the rates they charge for their services. CamSharks charges an industry LOW 3%…. NOBODY charges LESS than we do at Camsharks and at a site like Streamate, its your best bet to succeed. Do they offer 24 hour approvals? Streamate actually encourages girls to sign up through a studio due to the way it is set up. Just make sure you do your homework. Does the studio offer a telephone number to call for help and advise 24/7? Do they offer HD setup assistance? What’s the % they take?… 3% or is it 5% or even 10% or more? Those are the things you need to check FIRST! I of course recommend you check www.CamSharks.com.
Aside from huge toys, what’s your favorite thing to receive from fans?
Praise! I’m an attention whore, lol! I just love how loyal and outspoken my fans truly are! They are the BEST! I have a official membership website separate from my live shows at www.JaydaDiamonde.net where I post all my insider information for my fans! XOXO to you ALL! It is because of them that my life is so blessed!
Do you have a wishlist or somewhere fans can shower you with gifts?
I do have one, it is on Amazon.com Under my name: JaydaDiamonde or Jayda_Diamonde, dont remember which, but I would just prefer my fans come see me live and/or stay members of my official fanclub. I take pride in producing good quality content and live shows for my loyal fanbase. Im not looking for a handout. I’m looking to be the best entertainer I can be and earn the long term trust and support from all my peeps out there! My live shows have a tip function, so you can always reward me for a job well done. I find that more satisfying.
Any other projects sites etc you want to plug?
Well, I do have an announcement of sorts. I have signed to shoot 4 more Evil Angel DVD Videos. Filming begins later this month. I’ll shoot all 4 in 1 week (whew!) and they will be released one at a time over the summer! Good thing Ive been in training with all my fans! lol!
Twitter ID: @Jayda_Diamonde & @CamSharks
SuperDPS Interviewer, Bella Vendetta, is a fetish model, burlesque dancer, Pro Domme, webmistress and now a cam performer as well! Aside from doing dirty things on film she also conducts interviews with tattoo artists, black metal bands and adult film stars. You can learn more about her by visiting her site: www.bellavendetta.com
And get a live show for yourself here: http://BellaVendetta.cammodels.com
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Following a severely damaging loss by the Phillies on Halloween night, I couldn’t bring myself to feel much more than a long line of painful fucking disappointments. What’s the old saying? “When life gives you lemons…kill yourself.”
This all spawned from one deep and emotional conversation involving a childhood memory and a long strand of let-downs beginning with a toy maker 1994.
There was this guy called Robert B. Fuhrer, who did not have a very good name to be in the toy industry in the first place. If he was getting into this business, he should’ve changed his last name to FUNner or something–just so he didn’t sound like a fucking Nazi.
Anyway, this Nazi started his career in 1990* with an instant classic game called Crocodile Dentist. It became an instant classic when every douchebag kid would cry until they got it, only to find out that the game sucked ass.
If you don’t remember–or you had a shitty childhood–Crocodile Dentist consisted of players taking turns yanking out the teeth of a helpless plastic animal before his jaw snapped shut, pinching or dislocating your fingers.
Then, the Fuhrer turned around and said to an imaginary associate (for the purpose of this fake story), “You know what kids would love more than jamming their fingers into a heavy plastic trap?”
“No, what?” responded the imaginary toy-maker.
“A golf game that throws the ball back at you!” Fuhrer screamed in his stupid face.
The imaginary toy-maker thought about this for a while, and soon responded, “Sounds like the greatest fucking idea I’ve ever heard in my entire fucking life,” which was an odd manner for an imaginary employee in the toy industry to conduct himself.
“But,” continued the fictitious man, “You’ve already done a Crocodile game…what did you have in mind for this one? A Hippo perhaps?” Because Hippos and mini golf merge so well together.
“No!” exclaimed the Fuhrer while shitting his pants,”Crocodiles! Crocodiles all around!”
And thus, Crocodile Golf was born–and then promptly changed to Gator Golf, because it sounded more bad-ass.
If you don’t remember Gator Golf…what’s wrong with you?
Look at how much fun those fucking kids are having! They’re even willing to trust an Alligator in a suit (something you should never ever do) just to play it!
Then, they talk their functionally retarded dad into playing it and he fucking misses. How?!
His son knows the score though…he basically screams, “Get out of my way, faggot! I’ll show you how men play golf!” What a great sport.
So how did Fuhrer contribute to my crippling depression? In the commercial, they raise the question: “What could be greater than golf with a gator?” A charming and praiseworthy rhyme, I must say.
But the question is what bothers me so much. What could be greater than golf with a gator? I don’t know! And I fear that I’ll never know. Every moment of my life is an agonizing step backwards, forever chasing that ultimate high which I know I will never again achieve.
What could be greater than golf with a gator? Nothing. And when this is how you live your life, every day god is mocking you.
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*A fact that I made up.
Everyone loves Muppets. If you don’t love Muppets, I don’t want to know you. Surely, we’ve all grown attached to the Muppet Super Stars; the ageless, timeless characters who have given us hours of enjoyment…made us laugh, and more importantly, question ourselves for watching puppet shows as mentally stable adults.
But for the true Muppet fan, there are many unanswered questions. What is Gonzo’s relationship with the chicken? Why does Robin sit halfway down the stairs? And who was that Muppet and why the fuck doesn’t he have his own movie?
Today, I’ll examine 10 Muppets you may or may not have seen before, and why they deserve your recognition.
10. The Count’s Brother
You can cut the tension with a knife when Count Von Count’s measurement-obsessed brother comes to visit. He looks like a duplicate Count muppet the boys and Henson didn’t have a matching nose and ears for and decided: fuck it.
While the Count’s brother isn’t a particularly stirring character, I’d love to see them become a couple that is seen together more often. Think about it! They’d be like an obsessive compulsive Bert and Ernie!
9. Timmy Monster
Timmy was one of those monsters that you didn’t see very often and changed his image so much that you might not know him again if you saw him.
Although, it’s hard to miss a giant wearing a blue carpet, he could never really stand up to the likes of Sweetums.
I’d have to suggest they bring Timmy back. Perhaps in some kind of Muppet Show special where Murray the Mediocreguest stars as the monster-hating uber-racist.
8. Purple Guy
His career peaked as a nameless background character in Muppet Treasure Island and Muppet Wizard of Oz, but Pink/Purple Guy is a treat to behold. He could be anything from an aging backwoods redneck to a sleep-deprived, acne-scarred Craig’s List killer who masturbates at the Library.
See? Sesame Street taught me to use my imagination (see Bert and Ernie soliciting a little girl in the background)!
7. Shakey Sanchez
There isn’t anything especially significant about Shakey, aside from his drug-addled constantly surprised expression. He made his several appearances on The Muppet Show before he was taken away for trying to sell Trucker’s Stay Alert pills to Prairie Dawn.
I’d like to see a back story to Shakey before I die. Maybe something along the lines of: born on Sesame Street but had to pack up and leave because Telly was always waiting outside his house and Mr. Snuffleupagus kept calling for blow.
Mert is a businessman and a real man’s man. He’s so manly, his whole body is shaped like a dick. I would buy just about anything from Mert. Mostly because I feel bad for him.
He’s just trying to earn an honest living selling La Choy Chow Mein and Delbert the fucking dragon keeps getting in the way. Delbert used to be the star of the commercials and dick around with housewives. Then my man Mert came along and changed the game!
This resulted in Mert’s house being burned to the ground and him losing everything. Next time, maybe Mert should think twice before trying to out-do a fucking dragon!
At least Mert can take some comfort in the fact that he’s not Fred. Fucking Fred looks like a sex-doll.
5. Big Mean Carl
Carl is the worst kind of glutton: he’s a compulsive cannibal. Well, I guess I can’t really call him a cannibal; because I don’t know what the hell he is, let alone what he eats. Suffice it to say, he eats everything and everyone.
This bucket-mouthed monster is notorious for his various themed segments that just turn out to be a ruse to disguise his plot to murder and devour his “friends.”
One of the highlights of his career was performing with the Smashing Pumpkins…it’s only a shame he didn’t think to eat Billy Corgan before he could record a solo album.
4. The Tastee-Freez Guys
The Tastee Freezguys (Homer and Boss) seem like a potential precursor to Bert and Ernie, which may explain why they appeal to me so greatly.
Is there any more effective formula than the rigid control freak and his dopey, chubby, near-retarded best friend? I don’t think so.
The story of Bruno the Trashman is a tragic one. Monosyllabic and arguably uneducated, Bruno’s life was essentially built around hauling a smelly green cunt around Sesame Street in a trash can because he was too lazy to walk.
According to Muppet Wiki, Bruno grew old and started to deteriorate, at which point, he was scrapped and never re-made. So, the next time you’re out with your friends, tap some beers together for your old pal Bruno. He’d carry your ass around even if you’re a total asshole.
Digit was the Muppets’ own personal Max Headroom. Eerily human-like and robotic, he seems to have a solid enough presence to pull off a massive comeback. If he can frighten Bill Cosby, he must be on the right track.
The best dual-quality about Digit was that he managed to be a puzzling figure that children could laugh with/at while continuing unfailingly to be what nightmares are made of.
1. Roosevelt Franklin
If you’ve ever asked yourself “when did purple become the new black?” your answer lies at the dawn of Sesame Street with Roosevelt motherfuckin’ Franklin. This little guy added a rapid shot of color in the faces of all those other honky muppets while managing to be so fucking money that his own school was named after him!
Looking back on the antics of this character, it is clear that he was a shameless stereotype that blew his load all over conventional Muppetry. He even went so far as to record his own album.
He was dropped from the Sesame Street family for obvious reasons including perpetuating and encouraging hilarious African American stereotypes and for being in control of a school that was (I assume) too hot for TV.
But perhaps the most significant thing about Roosevelt Franklin is his undoubtable inspiration for the beloved puppet, Franklin, from Arrested Development.
This proves once and for all that Roosevelt isn’t really gone if we find a way to remember him.
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Toys have come a long way since I was a kid. Well, not really…but technology has advanced quite a bit and toy production has improved. One of the big steps has been Facial Scan technology that has improved how our dolls and action figures look. I remember a day when our toys looked nothing like who they were supposed to be, and we were happy! Well, not really.
Innovations in toys to improve the way they look, feel, sound, and even interact came later into my childhood and signified a new era in play. Whether this progression be primarily in toys, games, or education still remains to be seen, but toys, for the most part, seem to be getting more intriguing. I can’t help but feel a certain uncontrollable jealousy…I loved the toys I had when I was a kid, but now, looking back…they were all pretty shitty.
Why we thought it was cool: As toys advanced, Transformers no longer relied on children imagining that their robotic automobile-shaped hunks of plastic actually resembled the characters they saw in the cartoon. Transformers were cool again because it actually took some skill to assemble them. They looked similar to the characters they were portraying and everyone knew you were well-off if you had the more expensive ones.
Why it’s disappointing: Nobody watched the show because the whole concept was kind of gay. Not that Transformers as a whole wasn’t ridiculous, but swapping out bad-ass trucks, jets, and military vehicles for talking animals is a severe lapse in masculinity. The toys did spark a resurgence in regular Transformer sales…only because cool kids needed to prove to the Beast Wars kids that they weren’t pussies.
Why we thought it was cool: Let’s face it, we were all so deluded into thinking that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were cool that some of us still blindly keep the nostalgia in a locked box, refusing to see it for what it was–a shitty kids’ cartoon. There were some undeniably mature elements to the original TMNT source material, but as much as you tell yourself that the NEW Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sucks, it’s golden compared to the old one.
However, as children, we were stupid enough to look past the terrible animation and ridiculous characters and enjoy it. That, and every-fucking-body had all of these toys…even the obscure ones that no one ever actually played with:
Why it’s disappointing: If the above picture isn’t enough of a reason, let’s go a little deeper. The first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem. Some things are worth being nostalgic over, but Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles should hardly be one of them. We all had a good time with the heroes in a half-shell, but it’s time to let them go.
Despite the realization that the cartoon was 3rd rate, think about the old toys…all of the weapons were still in the fucking plastic molds. We had to work to pull out the monochromatic shards of plastic that only slightly resembled their accessories only to lose them all later that day. And then, the toy series just got…fucking weird:
Why we thought it was cool: The Furby should require no introduction. After the demise of the “Virtual (Keychain) Pet,” this was the next step in giving children responsibility that they shouldn’t have. Every kid thought they wanted a Furby. I think my house gave shelter to three. For the first few days after the initial adoption of these Mogwai rip-offs, kids didn’t just get bored with them…
Why it’s disappointing: …they were annoyed-to-all-hell with them. The Furby‘s concept was simple…a ‘living’ virtual pet that could show pseudo-emotion and (at some point) learn. Furbys didn’t die, and somewhere, I’m almost certain that every discarded one of these fuckers are still in tact and probably forming the building blocks of the most piss-annoying society known to man.
Furbys could communicate with one another, which only served to twist the knife. They would jabber on endlessly and if you managed to keep them alive long enough for them to pick up ENGLISH, they would wake you up at all hours of the night with a soft, creepy, robotic “I’m Hungreeeee…”
Furbys reached their peak when it was discovered that they could “learn” too much. They became a security threat based on the (probably unfounded) theory that they could scan Top Secret information into their data banks. Furbys caused 9-11.
Why we thought it was cool: Before the advent of the lifelike robotic pet, we had “Virtual Pets.” Tamagotchi came first, introducing us to the wide world of interminable beeping keychains that needed constant attention. The beauty of DigiMon (which was a precursor to POKeMON) was that it was presented as a non-gay way for boys to have a Virtual Pet. There was (still is?) a cartoon show that nobody watched, and offered little-to-no competition with POKeMON.
Why it’s disappointing: Once POKeMON came out, virtual pets GTFO’d. “I’m sorry, is your keychain beeping? I just caught 150 virtual monsters on my GameBoy and earned 8 Victory Badges. Suck my balls.”
There wasn’t much improvement in this toy over Tamagotchi except for the ability to link yours with a friends and make your monsters fight (no homo). The only problem here was that none of your friends had the fucking thing, so yours was essentially useless. It was, however, a fine middle-of-the-road between pointless and awesome.
6. Mighty Max
Why we thought it was cool: I’m pretty sure Mighty Max came out around the same time as Polly Pocket, but had significantly less staying power. Pocket playsets for boys was a genius concept that still remains to this day (with minimal improvement needed). Mighty Max was appealing because he was a kid (hey, just like me!) who found himself in all kinds of ridiculous peril with monsters ranging from the Skull Master to…say…a fucking dinosaur.
These toys allowed kids to use their imaginations, because…well…they had to. There wasn’t much there to play with, and that’s where the disappointment comes in.
Why it’s disappointing: Max, along with his gladiator pal Norman and his…wise bird(?) Virgil were captured in the short-lived animated series. I’ll bet you forgot they existed, didn’t you? Well, not me! Mighty Max found a way to exploit every single avenue from massive playsets:
…to McDonald’s toys and watches! They did this without ever once considering improving the model. Everything about Mighty Max was lackluster, from the tiny blobs of dual-colored plastic to the playsets that lose their charm after you’ve played out every possible scenario that the backdrop could offer. I will admit that I got extremely giddy looking at all the Mighty Max sets that I used to own…but then again, I’m retarded.
5. Crash Dummies
Why we thought it was cool: Let’s face it, “we” didn’t. Only a specific audience liked these pieces of shit, and I was amongst that crowd. The brief (ridiculous) animated series made no sense and went absolutely nowhere. This was a tool to learn about automobile safety protocols while appealing to vindictive children who just wanted to watch a human body be blown the fuck apart. Violence in the name of safety only appealed to nerds. Everyone else was playing Mortal Kombat.
Why it’s disappointing: Imagine opening a big box on Christmas morning and finding this. A normal child would be massively disappointed. I was actually excited, because I was insane. Crash Dummies wound up being the toy for children who loved to destroy things. The beauty of this was that when you threw the cars/planes/people up against the wall, shattering them into pieces, they could be snapped back together…or so you thought.
No, these toys were supposed to break apart, but only mildly. If you were too forceful with anything, it would cause irreparable damage; not to mention the fact that once the figures blew apart, their limbs were launched god-knows-where and lost forever. A collection of these toys would, after several weeks, become a bin of missing parts, broken ensembles, and limbless bodies.
4. Creepy Crawlers!
Why we thought it was cool: Creepy Crawlers came out a long time ago, but it has been reissued so many times that I happened to grow up with it as well (as I’m sure you did). I’m not sure if this was ever really considered “cool,” but it allowed for creative boys, who didn’t want to be called “fags” for asking for an Easy Bake Oven for Christmas, the opportunity to use a small plastic oven to cook up some inedible rubber garbage. It was fun because it wasn’t gay.
Why it’s disappointing: While you would think that a frighteningly hot plastic box that existed to heat up metal molds so that boiling plastic goo would turn to rubber would be a little boy’s wildest fantasy, it was not. It was almost as if parents who bought this unapologetic, dangerous monstrosity for their children were saying “You gotta learn someday.”
This was our generation’s “let them learn the stove is hot for themselves” and we’ve got the blisters, scars, and haunting memories to prove it. After a prolonged period of telling ourselves that we weren’t going to burn ourselves “next time,” we Creepy Crawlers enthusaists vowed “No More!” and gave the fucking thing away to the next dopey sap dumb enough to try to cook themselves up some bugs. But hey, at least they didn’t ask us to eat the fucking things, right?
Why we thought it was cool: Unlike the massively disappointing Go-Bots, these colorful little scamps did absolutely nothing but “be collectible.” They, like tiny figurines in their niche (i.e. Muscle Men and Monsters in my Pocket), were dinky hunks of plastic that could be safely concealed in one’s desk during boring classes…and everyone had them, whether or not they would admit it.
Why it’s disappointing: As if I had to go into it, they were miniature action figures that did absolutely nothing. They might as well have come from a vending machine, but we paid all kinds of money to collect them all. While all the cool boys were playing with Transformers and shit, you were stuck with pointy shards of plastic that would get lost all around your house until you unwittingly step on them, barefoot.
Why we thought it was cool: POGs defined the market for collectible gaming…and that market was: just about everyone. Printed with virtually any picture imaginable, POGs were the marbles of our generation. They were insignificant manufacturing mistakes that became an unimaginably popular way to teach kids to gamble.
Why it’s disappointing: When the fad died, you came to the harsh realization that the last several months of your life were thrown away, hoarding round pieces of brightly colored paper. Also, fuck those kids who had metal Slammers.
1. Crazy Bones
Why we thought it was cool: If you’ve never heard of Crazy Bones, I must assure you that they existed and continue to exist to this day (I think). Essentially, they were plastic marbles, molded into various “character” shapes–which gave kids an excuse to try to collect all of them. There were many games you could play with Crazy Bones and schoolyard fun was had by all (except for the kid who got his stolen and/or thrown into the stratosphere).
Why it’s disappointing: Unlike POGs, these collectible game-pieces weren’t something that a lot of people actually cared about. As with any collectible game that requires like-minded friends, the only way to make it worthwhile is if more people have them than just you. I wound up giving all my duplicate Crazy Bones to a friend just so I didn’t die of loneliness.