Movies come out on DVD/Blu Ray faster than they ever have on any other media, which is why seeing movies in theaters (unless it’s for a damn good reason) is fading into the dark realm of the obsolete. When I say “good reason,” I mean “good fucking reason.” This would include epic films that would be criminal to miss on an iMAX screen, 3D movies of any kind, and films that you can see on a whim for a reasonable price.
With a Blockbuster rental service (I know, I know…it’s not Netflix, but shut the fuck up) I can freely see any movies I want, whenever I want; and not have to worry about how much they suck.
Fortunately, I tend to be fairly picky about the movies that I watch. Unfortunately, this juvenile finickiness forces me to miss some quality films that I otherwise probably would never have seen. One of such films is, for the purposes of this article: Taken.
Starring Liam Neeson (and briefly, Fanke Janssen), Taken was not the kind of movie that I would have rushed out to see, based on the preview. It’s an action-packed thriller with MacGyver fibes that just didn’t appeal to my movie judgement. But, I seem to be wrong a lot.
Neeson, who did not seem at first like he would be entirely suited for this role, rivals any action star in history…and this film was, in one word: unbe-fucking-lievable.
Unbe-fucking-lievable, in part because of how steadily and strongly it grabs you by the balls and tightens right up until the final moments.
…and unbe-fucking-lievable because everything that happened in the movie was over-the-top and beyond the realms of what can generally be discribed as ridonkulous.
I’m not sure how else to put it, or review it. It was essentially any given episode of 24, minus the drama and 500% more non-stop ass-kicking.
If you haven’t seen this movie, please treat yourself. It’s not the most sophisticated film you’ll see anytime soon, but it is hands-down the Charles Bronson-iest.
Liam Neeson kills fucking everyone; and it’s amazing to watch. It’s like Schindler’s Hit List.
I’ll leave you with one brief spoiler: You know how in every action movie ever, the multi-talented, super-intelligent, street-smart, and savvy hero never gets a scratch on him until he’s in that Final Battle with the main asshole, even if every single asshole before him has had exactly the same skills? Yeah. No change here, but just as satisfying.
Long live the morally ambiguous protagonist!
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