Dear Patrons of the Strip Club,
I have been modeling for 8 years now. I got wrapped up in the glorious alt-porn world almost from the start. It’s been a crazy ride; however, recent events in my life have pushed me to pursue some income other than my website.
It was kind-of a ‘no brainer’…obviously, I should be a dancer! Lots of my friends were strippers and I always have fun in strip clubs. I’m good at dancing and I’m not shy, so get naked, make money, it’s a win/win!
What I was not really prepared for was the intricate workings of a strip club… the drama, the bullshit, the way management was going to treat me, the weird social-inner workings and the territorial girls who already work at the clubs. However, I’m pretty easy to get along with. I don’t steal customers, don’t get involved in drama. After all, I’m there to make money, not friends, right?
Making money, you’d think would be easy, but the customers in these places…..oh, it just seems like I am subjected to an endless amount of rudeness and ridiculous questions. So, I’ve made this list of things to keep in mind when you come to see me dance.
It’ll help you, The Customer, so I won’t have to embarrass you or throw a drink in your face or stab you, and it’ll help ME to make the most money I can!
–Because I’m a stripper and that’s all strippers really want anyways…..
–which brings me to rule #1
1. Strippers are there to make money. Please keep this in mind.
We are not there to get a workout by dancing alone on stage while you have a drink at the bar. In fact if all you want is a drink and you don’t have any money to spend on the dancers, go to a regular bar! This is pay per view, people–not free show!
If you’re one of the customers that just drinks at the bar, or maybe plays Keno (or Photo Hunt), you should at LEAST tip the bartender heavily AND you can’t get mad when none of the dancers want to talk to you. You can bet we’re talking about you though. We’re probably saying what a cheap bastard you are and how we wish you would just go to a regular bar. (see?)
2. This goes back to number one. We are indeed there to make money. NOT to get a boyfriend.
Most of us have boyfriends, some of us have several. And if we were looking for a boyfriend, we wouldn’t look in the club that we work at. Becase we’re only there for one thing, your money! If we’re being nice to you, it’s because we’re trying to get money. If we think you have a lot of it, we might even hang out with you for a long time.
But please know, that it’s only because we want your money. That’s what we’re here for. Not to give you our number or go home with you.
***I do have to put an addendum here because I think there are customers who dancers really, genuinely like. But it’s probably someone that spent some money on them at one time or another. But, you don’t usually end up really liking a broke customer.
3. Don’t try to save us. We’re just working a job, man. We don’t need to hear about how we should go back to school or how if we were with you we wouldn’t have to dance.
Some dancers probably make more money than you. If you have a problem with girls that strip, just stay home. Because we have money to make and there’s no time to argue with you. Unless your tipping us heavily while having this argument.
This last one is a personal rule just for me; although I’m sure it applies to other girls who are strippers.
4. PLEASE think of something else to open a conversation with other than “So you got a lot of tattoos” or “What’s up with those tats?” or “How many tattoos do you have” or “Did that hurt?”
Really, seriously. Let’s talk about my perfect boobs or…anything else!
And, asking me to tell you to the story of why I got all my tattoos, I’m probably not going to answer that. Ya know, it’s none of your fucking business, and you just tipped me a dollar…
I’m not going to sit down and tell you my life story. My life story is $20 and is told in the form of a lap dance. And one more thing: I’m not going to stop walking around trying to make money, to pose for you and show off my tattoos. If you wanna see the tattoo show, it’s $20, honey.
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The First Time I Ever tried to be a stripper I had to take 2 shots of Patron and I couldn’t let go of the Pole. It was my life support system. 8 years later I STILL have to have something to hold on to onstage.
