Rarely do you hear a news story that includes the words “Space Cowboy” and ”Vampire.” The real world just isn’t that exciting. But when you discover this kind of batshit insane, who needs comic book villains?
Imagine the confusion and fear that gripped the fine people over at the Union Gospel Mission in downtown Seattle when this fucking lunatic entered the building. According to the employees there, he walked in, demanding to be served breakfast. When the staff refused, he claimed that he was a Vampire and wanted to eat people.
He also claimed to be a “Space Cowboy” before he revealed that he had a bomb strapped to his arm. And that’s when shit got serious–oh–and then he started his approach to the Court House…
Perhaps it was just the last element to his Apocalypse Ray
Naturally, panic ensued and the downtown area was closed off until the psychopath was detained and the bomb was discovered to be a fake. But what a day that must’ve been!
When people say that Osama bin Laden and Kim Jung-Il are “real-life super-villains,” tell them to fuck off. Real-life Super Villains look like this:
You can’t manufacture that kind of crazy.
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