The MTV masterpiece Jersey Shore premiered this past week and the media is already foutraged (fake-outraged). Have we not seen this shit before? How many times have the socially bewildered and functionally retarded been wheeled out for our amusement via Reality Television?
From obviously staged and/or encouraged cat-fights, to douches being douches, MTV has never disappointed its Mongoloid audience (and, of course, I use the term ‘mongoloid’ with as little respect as humanly possible).
Jersey Shore is barely in its infancy and public officials are already throwing it under the bus. Italian-American community leaders (i.e. The Mafia) have expressed their extreme distaste with the repeat use of the term “Guido” on the show…and the newly invented term–which I can’t wait to use: “Guidette.” Now that’s class.
Critics of Jersey Shore, especially the Italian-Americans need to ‘fugget-aboudit,’ or in other words, shut the fuck up! Stop pretending to be offended and stick to what you’re good at: cooking, organ grinding, and domestic violence.
On the subject of domestic violence, this little gem hit the Internets recently–just about as randomly and aggressively as this bitch gets hit in the face:
Sweet chin music. A symphony of raditude. That bundle of irritating tits is Snookie, one of the seemingly endless number of reasons to completely avoid watching Jersey Shore.
Complaints about this scene have caused MTV to pull the clip from their show, much to the disappointment of sadistically optimistic individuals such as myself.
The largest dissent on Jersey Shore has been the portrayal of Italian-Americans in a negative light. If only there were some prominent Italian leader to dispell the rumors that all Italians want to do is hit people in the face…hmmm…
Listen up, greaseballs: this isn’t an ethnic sitcom. It’s a reality show. These people are portraying themselves in a negative light. That’s how people get famous. Them’s the rules.
And who made these rules? You did. We all did. This is our fault. You and I are just as socially responsible for Jersey Shore as its producers and advertisers.
On the subject of advertisers, Domino’s Pizza has pulled its ads from the show, saying:
“We just have chosen not to be on that particular show. The content of the show wasn’t right for Domino’s.”
‘Wasn’t right for Domino’s?!?!’ Jesus Christ on a Panini! You’re a fucking pizza company! What better way to promote your company than overpaid half-homo dagos pissing on the history of their ancestors and kicking defenseless sluts in the cunt?
So don’t pretend you “didn’t know” that this show would be an offensive clusterfuck of twenty-something male idiocy and the sleazy hijinks of crusty, over-sexed borderline retarded “guidettes.” You knew and you did nothing to stop it. You embraced Jersey Shore…and now you’re fucking stuck with it.
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