Tag Archives: pornography
Tim Vargulish is a young comedian who I met on a random and directionless vacation to Boston. Let’s paint a picture, shall we? My girlfriend and I were wandering around Harvard’s campus feeling punch-drunk and slightly less intellectual than normal. We were searching for a place that seemed familiar and (thanks, Yelp!) discovered the Comedy Studio. We learned that it is possibly the most difficult place to discover in Boston, considering that it is hidden by the facade of a fully functional and operational Chinese restaurant.
When we discovered that the upstairs was actually a comedy club, we somehow nabbed the last two seats available, because–apparently–it is one of the most amazing comedy clubs ever. It was a night of laughter and discovery, as we watched comedian after comedian do their short sets. The most intriguing and frighteningly astute of the comedians I witnessed was the one and only Tim Vargulish. Getting to know him after the show and in the subsequent interactions we’ve had, I determined him to be an up-and-coming star, a true comedian, and a good friend. This is Mr. Tim Vargulish:
I’ve always been a shy guy my whole life, but I loved to make my friends laugh. In college, 2006, I joined an Improv group called I Pulled My Quad. One of the other members, Andrew Mayer, was a very funny stand-up and we’d hang out after shows and joke around. Eventually he urged me to do stand-up, which I had never thought of doing before but once I thought of it, it made a whole lot of sense. I went up during this contest at a dog track in Rhode Island and bombed, but the few laughs I did get got me hooked and I’ve been doing it ever since.
(on where he finds influence and inspiration)
It’s kind of hard to say, I can be inspired by anything be it a Ben Franklin Wig, conversation heard at a library, personal story, or ordering a pizza online. There are things that just jump out at me and stick with me, and the more it sticks with me, I know that there’s something funny about it. I also daydream a lot and come up with lots of implausible scenarios, like: ‘Hmnnn…what would I do if I ever got mugged? Well, if I was a magician I could just use magic to make my wallet disappear!’
My main driving force is taking all the weird thoughts and occurrences in my head and in my life and presenting to people in a way that they understand and can relate to. Their laughter is like them having accepted my weirdness which makes me feel not so weird, I love it.
There’s just a need to get these thoughts out into the world. Like I said, there are things that just stick out to me and that seem funny and once I get that idea in my head I need to get it out there. Also just getting laughs is the most addicting thing in the world and it feels great to entertain people. It’s great way to cheer yourself up as well, nothings better on a bad day then having people laugh at your ideas.
(on what’s wrong with America)
So many things, where do I start? Well, obviously, the government is run by a group of shape-changing inter-dimensional reptiles, but that’s not just America that’s the whole world. I actually just finished watching Waiting for Superman so right now education’s on my mind and there really needs to be something done with that. What else? We’re all fat, stupid, secretly controlled, suppressed, and easily placated. I hate to make a lot of accusations though because I’m not affecting any change or have any answers as to how to make things better, so I feel like I’m just complaining. Let’s just say Reality TV. That’s a big problem with this country.
(What are you optimistic about?)
Anything I like makes me optimistic. Every time I read a Grant Morrison comic, see a Wes Anderson movie, play a Metal Gear Solid game, the latest episode of Tim & Eric, or even get the slightest compliment from someone. These are the things that make me think: ‘yeah…we’re gonna be alright.’
I’m optimistic that if you’re a good person, eventually good things will happen to you and you’ll be happy. Also if you’re a funny comic, eventually you’ll make it. These things might take a long time to achieve but–again–as long as you’re good and putting good energy out there, good stuff will come back to you. I have to think these things, though. If I didn’t, I’d just be a miserable person walking up and down the street yelling at kids and dogs and stuff.
(on Nerd Culture)
I guess I’m a nerd. I mean, what’s the definition? I do love comics books and sci-fi and videogames but I’ve never got beat up and I have had three girlfriends in my lifetime. “Nerd Power” has definitely risen in our life time but it’s still not completely acceptable. There are socially acceptable nerds like your Michael Cera and Jonah Hill’s from Superbad or some kid that’s like, “I saw Lord of the Rings. I’m such a nerd.” Of course you saw Lord of the Rings, it was one of the biggest most successful movies ever made. I really hate that shit.
People want it to seem like nerds are the majority now, but all it is is people who were on the outside of being a nerd are now accepted but what about the kids playing D&D in their basements, or are thirty year old virgins, or who wear a cape to gym class? They’re still looked down on.
It’s weird when someone is too overly proud to be something, it’s like they’re not doing that thing any justice. It’s like some guy that just won’t stop telling you he’s Irish… “ohhh I’m Irish, check me out I’m Irish, Irish, Irish, Irish!” Shut up, you’ve never been to Ireland, you know nothing of your country or family history and no, I will not kiss you.
If you put two people who say they’re nerds together, you’d probably get different results. “Hi, I’m a nerd who plays Magic: the Gathering.”…”Oh hey, I’m also a nerd because I wear a Legend of Zelda t-shirt and fuck chicks. I’m not (really) a nerd but I pretend to be to pick up girls!” Or like those girls that are like, “I only date nerds!” Do you? Or are you just dating some douchebag with an XBOX and knows who Bruce Banner is?
There are different categories of nerds some more acceptable than others. Music nerds and movie nerds are probably the most accepted. I fit somewhat in those categories but am mostly a comic book nerd which is slightly less appealing to most people but more appealing than role-playing nerds.
(on how much porn is too much porn)
I don’t watch pornography. I’ve actually never watched porno. It seems weird to me. Like, you wouldn’t just sit outside someone’s window and watch them while they have sex. That’s what porn seems like to me, makes me feel like a creepy guy just watching two strangers have sex. Also if movies and television have taught me anything it’s that as soon as a porn comes on something bad will happen… either your grandmother and priest will walk in, or you accidentally grab glue and get your hand stuck to your dick, something bad always happens.
(I’d like to thank Tim Vargulish for his humor, honesty, and heart…and I can’t wait to see him perform again. For more from Tim Vargulish, check out his work on YouTube and Twitter …along with his new comedy group project: Uncle Mustache)
(return to MAIN PAGE)
As a porn website reviewer for XXXpwnage.com, I’ve seen a huge number of sites, scenes, and performers over the past couple of years doing lots of wild and weird things. It’s been quite an interesting experience and I’ve learned a lot in the process (well, maybe I shouldn’t admit that!), but I thought it would be entertaining to share with you some of the funnier website titles that I’ve encountered along my smut journey.
Let’s face it, nearly all porn titles are inherently pretty crazy, but some stick in my mind a bit more than others. Even though these titles are funny, the sites themselves are pretty good and I’ve reviewed many of them, so it’s not a reflection whatsoever on their content. Midget porn, amputee porn, granny porn….it’s quite a ride! So, here’s a brief sample of the titles that I’ve found to be particularly funny (or disturbing?)…
Little Mutt.com (not mutts by any means, erotic chicks!)
Pee Pee Babes.com
Salami Brothers (Comedy Porn – hey, who wouldn’t want to fuck a chick dressed like Raggedy Ann at a lemonade stand?)
Goth Gang Bang.com
With the porn industry’s super competitive need to cater to every imaginable sexual niche, genre and fetish out there, they work overtime to accomplish their sacred mission: keeping you pervs happy!
In addition to these real porn site titles, I thought it would be amusing to make a fictional list of websites I’d like to see, and with so much smut swirling through my brain, it was embarrassingly easy! As easy as falling off a log (or a cock! am I blushing? naaaaaaaaah! I forgot how to blush awhile ago!).
Who knows, you might actually run across some of these titles someday! ( I suppose all the porn producers reading this just got a lot of freaky new ideas for free. Damn!)
Without further adieu, here are the ridiculous porn titles I’d like to see:
You Broke My Dick, Bitch!.com
Eat My 90 Inches.com
Nursing Home Orgy.com
Spit On My Wife.com
Fuck My Stump.com
Cooking With Cum.com
Bondage For Dummies.com
My Daughter Fucks Better Than Your Daughter.com
10 Million Tranny Gang Bang.com
Yeast Infection Cam.com
Tit Monsters.com (hmm, that might already be out there!)
Euromaniac Cum Dumpsters.com
Diaper My Daddy.com
Blowjob Cheerleader Zombies.com
I could go on all day with this creative little project, but I think you get the idea.
Obviously, I’ve been reviewing wayyy too much porn to “cum” up with a twisted list like this! So, I’ll take a healthy time out now, sipping my conservative cup of Earl Gray tea and reading a Harlequin romance to purify my soul.
Yeah, right! Without crazy titles, porn wouldn’t be the porn we all know and love – what would the world be without The Amputee doing his thing? (albeit carefully balanced on one leg! Or is it two? lol)
If I have aroused your curiosity about the sites we’ve reviewed with titles like Midgetcum., Little Mutt or Lollybadcock (UK porn at its finest), visit XXXpwnage.com and read our reviews – you’re sure to find a lot more weird stuff lurking around………guaranteed!
–Honey West (Adult Web Reviewer)