Facebook, we’ve been together for about 4 years now. It’s been magical. We’ve shared stories, pictures, moments. You were never afraid to ask the question, “What’s on your mind?”. Well now I feel like it’s time to share with you. Facebook, recently you’ve been doing everything in your power to irritate me.
I know I’m not the best guy out there, I may not have a picture of myself with my shirt off or partially open, or a picture with my bare ass hanging out while holding a red plastic cup, but I’m still a human being. Let’s go over the current issues in our relationship status shall we?
Chatting (or the lack of communication)–You never seem to let me talk to my friends anymore. You keep telling me I can’t connect with them at this time. You don’t tell me why. You just put a triangle with an exclamation point inside it so I can’t see them and that’s not right! I would never put that symbol in between us and what we have together. So why do it to me and my friends?
Also, when I do connect to them and I DO get to talk to them, you keep interrupting the conversation with lies! You keep telling me that you’re “sending”, but do I really believe you? Are you really letting me talk? I think you’re being too controlling. Life is all about interactions and if you can’t even let me talk to the people I care about, then the whole part about you telling me how much of a social utility you are that connects me to share with my friends is a lie!
Privacy (Trust issues)–Facebook, I tried to respond to a comment someone left on my wall and you throw this at me:
It also appears that you’re a racist! Another thing I just discovered! DECEPTION!
Why put this barrier in our relationship? You don’t think it’s me that’s replying to a comment on MY own wall?! I’ve been the same person I have always been for those 4 years I’ve been with you. Why do you doubt me now?! I’m not a robot! I don’t just wake up one day after 4 years and pretend to be someone I’m not, advertising false things! That really hurts.
Also, recently you’ve been displaying a lot of my personal information to complete strangers. I thought what we shared was intimate and private? You have your doubts about me being who I say I am for all these years but you don’t bat an eye when it comes to showing my info! Your backtracking and constant nagging about how I can change my privacy settings ( why can’t we just go back to the good old days?) doesn’t make up for it.
Feeds (being exclusive)–I understand you don’t want me to get too involved with everyone and you get jealous sometimes but I feel like you’re smothering me. You’ve been limiting how many feeds I get to see. Especially from friends I just recently added. I shouldn’t have to drop in on their profiles to see what they’ve been up to. That’s intrusive! If they feel free to tell everyone what’s going on then I should see it on my list of feeds!
Suggestions (being over controlling)–You keep bossing me around, telling me to do things I don’t feel like doing. You parade my friends in front of me saying things like “reconnect with her”, “Say hello”, “send him a message” (how mobster of you!), “help her find her friends (mean!)”. STOP IT! It’s my life and I’ll reconnect, say hello, or talk to who I want to WHEN I want to! You don’t need to keep telling me what to do! My friends can find their own friends! They don’t need my help! That’s ridiculous!
Mobile notifications (you don’t tell me until it’s too late)–You never tell me the important things when it happens you always wait on it. I’ll see the notifications on the home page but I get a notification on my phone 5 hours sometimes even a day later! It’s not right! I care about you facebook, so of course I always want to know whats going on with you and my wall! I would think you would like the fact that I’m so eager (or how I have no life :D ) to know the latest updates going on. You should never feel hesitant about what’s going on! I won’t judge!
So in short I think you need to make a lot of changes. I don’t want you to change how you look ( because that myspace is a slutty slutty ho bag.) I don’t wanna change back to who you were (although I tended to like the old you but that was awhile ago and I’ve moved on). I just want you to be yourself. Stop putting all these blockades between us and let’s enjoy each others company. Other wise, I’ll have to change our status from “it’s complicated”, to “single”.
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