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March 5, 2012 · 6:02 pm
SuperDPS 2012 Grammy Predictions (and Results)
As I try to do for every major awards show, letting a few slip through my fingers, I thought I’d make my educated guesses at who might come out with some big wins. After the passing of Whitney Houston the day prior to the Grammys, I’d imagine she will have a major underlying (and overlying) presence at the ceremony. I’m predicting a very traditional show with very little surprise, but that’s what comes from proper, formal award shows. That’s why we watch the MTV awards, the VMAs, and the Golden Globes–for the intoxicated antics of celebrities who proceed to “ruin everyone’s night” and make Monday headlines.
One thing that I discovered about the Grammys recently is the difference between “Song of the Year” and “Record of the Year.” It always seemed like a bullshit excuse to give out two awards for the same thing–as if the Academy Awards gave out Oscars for “Best Motion Picture” and “Coolest Motion Picture.” Evidently, “Song of the Year” awards the writing of the song, first and foremost, the collaboration of songwriters, not taking into account the final production of the piece. And “Record of the Year” rewards the song in conjunction with production value and sound. So, basically, the exact same award. This has cleared nothing up.
So let’s get into it. There are a lot of awards and very little time. As you may be aware, I will be commenting/updating these predictions via Twitter throughout the ceremony, so you can visit me there to congratulate me for being right, chastise me for being wrong, or just let me know how you’re just passing time before tonight’s premiere of The Walking Dead. Cheers!
(to see the full list of everyone nominated, click here) I skipped over many awards either because I don’t think they’ll be in the actual 3 hour show, or I have no intelligent guess to make and don’t give a shit who wins…
BEST LONG FORM MUSIC VIDEO: Beyonce (I Am…World Tour)
BEST SHORT FORM MUSIC VIDEO: “All is not Lost” (OK GO)
PRODUCER OF THE YEAR (NON-CLASSICAL): Ryan Tedder
BEST SCORE SOUNDTRACK: Alexandre Desplat (The King’s Speech)
BEST COMPILATION SOUNDTRACK FOR VISUAL MEDIA: Glee
BEST MUSICAL THEATER ALBUM: The Book of Mormon
BEST COMEDY ALBUM: Hilarious (LOUIS CK)
BEST SPOKEN WORD ALBUM: Bossypants (Tina Fey)
I'm not sure if they even announce this award at the Grammys, but...I'd like to see Tina win it.
BEST REGGAE ALBUM: Wild and Free (Ziggy Marley)
BEST FOLK ALBUM: Helplessness Blues (Fleet Foxes)
BEST BLUES ALBUM: Low Country Blues (Gregg Allman)
BEST BLUEGRASS ALBUM: Paper Airplane (Alison Krauss & Union Station)
BEST AMERICANA ALBUM: Blessed (Lucinda Williams)
BEST COUNTRY ALBUM: Speak Now (Taylor Swift)
BEST COUNTRY SONG: Mean (Taylor Swift)
BEST COUNTRY DUO/GROUP PERFORMANCE: Don’t You Wanna Stay (Jason Aldean & Kelly Clarkson)
BEST COUNTRY SOLO PERFORMANCE: I’m Gonna Love You Through It (Martina McBride)
Frank Ocean, from an "Odd Future" nobody to the first voice heard on "Watch the Throne"
BEST RAP ALBUM: Watch the Throne (Jay-Z & Kanye West)
BEST RAP SONG: All of the Lights–Jeff Bhasker, Stacy Ferguson, Malik Jones, Warren Trotter & Kanye West, songwriters (Kanye West, Rihanna, Kid Cudi & Fergie)
BEST RAP/SUNG COLLABORATION: I Need a Doctor (Dr. Dre, Eminem, Skylar Grey)
BEST RAP PERFORMANCE: Look at me Now (Chris Brown, Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes)
BEST R&B ALBUM: FAME (Chris Brown)
BEST R&B SONG: Fool For You–Cee Lo Green, Melanie Hallim, Jack Splash, songwriters (Cee Lo Green & Melanie Fiona)
BEST TRADITIONAL R&B PERFORMANCE: Surrender (Betty Wright & The Roots)
BEST R&B PERFORMANCE: You Are (Charlie Wilson)
I already feel like Foster the People has been around for too long.
BEST ALTERNATIVE MUSIC ALBUM: Torches (Foster the People)
BEST ROCK ALBUM: Come Around Sundown (Kings of Leon)
BEST ROCK SONG: Every Teardrop is a Waterfall (Coldplay)
BEST HARD ROCK/METAL PERFORMANCE: White Limo (Foo Fighters)
BEST ROCK PERFORMANCE: The Cave (Mumford & Sons)
BEST TRADITIONAL POP/VOCAL ALBUM: Duets II (Tony Bennett & Various Artists)
BEST DANCE/ELECTRONICA ALBUM: Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites (Skrillex)
BEST DANCE RECORDING: Sunshine (David Guetta & Avicii)
BEST POP VOCAL ALBUM: Loud (Rihanna)
BEST POP INSTRUMENTAL ALBUM: Setzer Goes Instru-Mental! (Brian Setzer)
BEST POP DUO/GROUP PERFORMANCE: Pumped Up Kicks (Foster the People)
Just give Adele all the Grammys and call it an early night...
BEST POP SOLO PERFORMANCE: Someone Like You (Adele)
BEST NEW ARTIST: Nicki Minaj
SONG OF THE YEAR: Rolling in the Deep (Adele)
ALBUM OF THE YEAR: 21 (Adele)
RECORD OF THE YEAR: Rolling in the Deep (Adele)
And that’s that! Keep up with our posts on SuperDPS.com or @SuperDPS and try to have at least a satisfactory Grammy evening. I guess I’ll be putting off Walking Dead ’til after.
Celebrity Horseshit: “Nigga Stole My Mic!”
As long as it’s a hot topic, let’s discuss the actions of Kanye West during the MTV VMA’s, shall we? First of all–the actions took place at an award ceremony so ridiculous and unimportant–a locale so prone to spectacle–that its entire title is an acronym. Even in its name, it is screaming, “This is an entertainment show…it is not–we repeat NOT–a legitimate award ceremony.” It’s like the motherfucking Teen Choice Awards, people…grow the fuck up.
Another person who needs to grow the fuck up is Kanye West (see, I’m on your side, too).
There is a serious disconnect between his talent and his ego, and that needs to find its way into Check Mate as soon as humanly possible. Jay-Z describes West as a “genius.” Fact. I would disagree with Mr. Z, respectfully. Kanye West is not a genius. He’s an artist and a talented musician, no doubt. However, genius describes a certain knowingness and a level of unprecedented brilliance that comes along every once in a blue moon.
Say Say Say what you want!
Let’s take The Beatles for example. As musicians, would you consider them to be “genius?” That’s a real question. Feel free to comment…because I don’t know. I would consider them the best band in musical history…but are they more “genius” than Beethoven? Mozart?
If Kanye West is “genius,” where does that leave Jay-Z? He would never say that West is better than he is…so what does that make Hova? Is Jay-Z some kind of god-man?
I’m getting off topic…excuse me. Let’s look at a random Facebook comment:
“kaynes a racist mother fucker who deserves to get shot”
Really? At what point between, “George Bush doesn’t care about Black People,” and, “I’m really happy for you…but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time,” do we say: That’s it Kanye…someone should shoot you down.…???!?!?!
Hey, remember how you thought 2Pac was still alive?
First off, nobody should get shot; no matter if you’re a merely loud-mouth rapper or a Neo-Nazi fuckhead…nobody should be gunned down. Ever.
I’m sure that this individual on Facebook wasn’t thinking with a clear head, but anyone who actually thinks this should probably stay indoors for their entire life.
(Rewind) Taylor Swift is a talented young artist and she deserved her moment in the sun…and Kanye West “ruined” that. Beyonce (wife of Kanye West’s BFF Jay-Z) had the decency to give Taylor Swift her moment back. But did Kanye’s actions really hurt Taylor Swift? Undoubtedly, she’s received more recognition NOW than EVER!
OK, but can she ACT?
My fucking MOM probably never heard of Taylor Swift…and now her news channels are buzzing her name all day. Are you happy now, America? Now EVERYONE knows who Taylor Swift is!
Does Taylor Swift have more talent and potential than Beyonce? Of course not…but that doesn’t mean she should be denied her spotlight.
It wasn’t even for fucking BEST SONG…it was for BEST VIDEO! Should fucking any fucking artist be recognized for their music video?! FUCK NO!
The music video is solely the vision of the people who MADE that video.
America…MTV…it’s time to chillax (white people are the only people who use that term anymore anyways). Kanye, you’re never going to gain anything by pulling this shit. And the next time your publicist tells you to apologize, say “no.” That way, only the people who actually like you will continue to pay attention.
FACT: Paul McCartney has actually SEEN a black man.
In conclusion, America, we have so much shit on our plate right now. This is a distraction–to say the least–from real issues and real problems. I’m not going to tell you what to think. I want YOU to tell ME how you feel. But to sum it up, for me, I’d be fine laughing at Kanye’s antics while appreciating his music.
Music is one of the strongest things humanity has going for it. It’s bigger than politics; bigger than religion. Music will always be around; and if you throw out Kanye West, there’s a fucking billion other up-and-coming young artists to take his place…your college room-mate is just too fucking lazy to be famous. Isn’t writing easier when you just polished off a bottle of Brandy?
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