We’ve all made mistakes. Some were more significant and life-changing than others, obviously. But when the fine and upstanding douchebags in the advertising field screw the proverbial pooch when it comes to doing their jobs properly, well, the result is their prompt and inevitable exile from the industry.
McDonald’s has a long uncomfortable line of shitty campaigns, but this was one of the most unforgivable. This was the fast good giant’s first attempt to make an original gigantic sandwich to compete with Burger King’s Whopper.
Their latest attempt, the Big N’ Tasty, can’t possibly stand up to the laughable jingles featuring a singing and dancing Jason Alexander.
When you consider the, “Hey, what if we used a singing, dancing, balding, tubby, Woody Allen-sounding actor to prance around claiming that a 2-part burger in a giant Styrofoam box is a revolutionary concept” mindset behind the campaign, then “Quarter Pounder with Cheese? I’d Hit That!” doesn’t seem so fucking crazy.
And if you’re easily annoyed by the jingles and irritating commercials of today, check out one of the mindfuck in-your-face adverts of yester-year.
Why not just call it “McDonald’s Make Your Own Sandwich?” It’s a burger, for christ’s sake, does it really need its own suitcase and instruction manual? Congratulations! You’ve found a way to keep the Hot part Hot and the Cool part Cool. Now if you could only make it fucking edible, we might have something!
Maybe they were just trying to do us a favor and force us to work before we eat ourselves to death. Here’s a commercial featuring an Umpire who’s so mad he could shit!
I honestly only vaguely remember such a thing existing, but I think it’s way passed time to bring it back. On second thought, just bring back the old Sid and Marty Krofft rip-off McDonaldland where creepiness reigns supreme and the only crime is Hamburglary, punishable by a swift execution in the Fry Fields.
Our parents should gaze upon our generation in horror for allowing the Grimace to have a shot at redemption.
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