Tag Archives: epic

LOST: About Last Night

Let’s start off with a bit of honesty: the finale wasn’t what anyone was expecting. Loyal viewers were left confused about what they had just experienced, spiteful towards the show’s creators who promised fuckloads of answers and produced practically none; but what we all received was a conclusion…an ending to a six-year journey…and whether you approve or not, whatever happened happened.

Seldom has any long-running television show provided a wholly satisfying conclusion that everyone accepts entirely without question or concern. Unlike a film, where the viewer only invests 90-120 minutes of their oh-so-precious time, a television show of considerable length and depth leaves the audience expecting unrealistic and improbable levels of satiation that will ultimately leave them feeling (at best) short-changed.

LOST was no exception, but it was bittersweet–leaving my stomach temporarily satisfied, but after lying down in bed, I was already hungry for more.

The news highlighted the outrage and confusion–talking heads singing a choir of “WTF?”

As expressed by Co-Creator Damon Lindelof, at its core, LOST is a “character study.” The at-times overwhelmingly paradoxical themes of psychology, theoretical physics, religion, and philosophy served to create these “unanswerable questions” that both the viewers, cast, and characters they portrayed simply have to accept as truth. And after several moments of being utterly perplexed, I came to a rational conclusion that seemed to work, and I was filled to the brim with acceptance.

So here’s what we “know”–or at least what we can reach a relatively reasonable conclusion about:

The plane crash and the life (and death) on the island and off the island was the living world for the characters we all grew to love over the past 6 seasons.

The 6th season provided us with a “Flash Sideways” series of events which we were all lead to believe was an alternate life for the characters had they never crash landed on the time-traveling, disappearing island.

The conclusion showed us that the alternate time-line was actually an afterlife for all of these characters which they had intentionally created (in their respective subconscious) postmortem as a way of being together again, remembering their existence, and “moving on” to whatever else awaited them in (let’s say) heaven.

Some of them died earlier in the time-line (Shannon and Boone, Juliette, Christian Shepherd). Some died later on (Jin and Sun, John Locke, Sayid, Jack). And some will eventually have died–later in life (Hurley, Sawyer, Kate, Ben Linus, etc).

As the afterlife has no “time,” they all exist in a moment of subconscious–a dream–no matter when they actually passed away.

Aside from the several insights we attained into what exactly was going on with the Island, Jacob, and the Smoke Monster, we were not given too many definitive “answers.”

The show put forth a series of twisted psychological and sci-fi elements that we, as the audience, are meant to simply accept as part of the show.

The characters never got any closure on what was actually going on–so neither did the audience.

Most of this is only left up to our interpretation; however, it is implied that if the promise of “saving humanity by pressing a button” or “guarding a light/plugging a hole to keep the evil from escaping” was enough to the castaways to stick their necks out, we should just accept it.

We were offered several characters with paranormal abilities (Desmond, Miles, Hurley) which we accepted as part of the show. After all, in a world where a pillar of black smoke can end all of humanity, who are we to question the little things?

Desmond’s story was perhaps the strangest–as it is never truly explained why he becomes such an important force on the island.

By the end, we are meant to see Desmond as a man who can travel between times and dimensions–and because he has seen the other side, he knows that nothing that happens on the island actually “matters” as these characters will all be together in eternal happiness.

Essentially, his character in the 6th Season represents the philosophy that: “If you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is an afterlife where you and everyone you love will share eternity, why would anything that happens in on Earth actually matter?”

This is why Desmond says that it makes no difference who wins, who lives, and who dies.

The series was breathtaking. Only once in a lifetime does a long-running television show have such an impact on the lives of so many. The acting, the humor, the drama, and the emotion was surreal–and this is why the ending, while certainly up for interpretation, fit so well with the overarching themes of the entire series.

It made us laugh, cry, and never disappointed. If you’re glad the show is over because now people will stop talking about it, guess again.

If you’ve gone out of your way to stay away from the show because of all the hype, you’re most likely that cunt everyone knows who only listens to music that no one else ever heard of.

The show isn’t for everyone, but it certainly doesn’t attempt to be…and if you’re too broad to appreciate everything that LOST has accomplished, there’s always Two and a Half Men.


Alex G/

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Filed under Arts, Events, Fun Stuff, Review, Television

What the Fuck Happened? Actors Turned Musicians

alexbwIt’s no secret that we live in a world of excess. The zeitgeist indicates that we are no longer content in simply being good or even great, we need to be better–do more–even if that means dangerously shoving ourselves past the points of logic, common sense, and personal ability.

I’d like to focus, for the sake of this brief discussion, on two individuals who have fairly recently displayed that their talent can not possibly make up for the endless pit of douchebaggery brought on by their musical “careers.”

Why: What the Fuck Happened? Well, not only am I referring to the question: What the fuck happened to these people? but also: What the fuck happened to the golden age of the celebrity?

You see, in my understanding, back in Hollywood’s Double Platinumage, stars were expected to be multi-talented performers. If they needed to dance, they danced. Sing, they sang. Overdose? They went all out!

Today, celebrities are expected to do about two things:

1. Be consistent and professional. Realize your place in the entertainment industry and do your best not to step on anyone else’s toes. FAIL

2.Not expose themselves in public or on the Internet; and along with that, not to bring negative attention to themselves at the expense of the productions that they are participating in. EPIC FAIL

So, with that in mind, let’s talk a little bit about Joaquin Phoenix.

Earlier this year, Phoenix (in some form) appeared on Letterman to do one thing: promote his new movie.

Joaquin somehow dropped this tether-ball and wound up falling-ass-backwards into creating an Internet meme to promote his hip hop career.

Now, with respect to the loss of his potentially much-more-talented brother, River, Phoenix has taken the mope-road, transformed himself into a pariah, and now resembles the kind of person you’d find quietly masturbating in a Library.

Maybe he just needs to take some time off, but here’s to hoping that America gets its Joaquin Phoenix back soon; because this shit–

–is unex-fucking-ceptable.

Moving on; what the fuck happened to Billy Bob Thornton?

While I can not, in good conscience, sit here and defend him, his intellect, character, or work (for the most part), I do know in my heart that his work that actually hit, soared out of the park.

There is a fair amount of slack that must be evenly distributed to those who are constantly in the public eye despite  constant horseshit behavior. I get it. Who doesn’t want to be famous just so they can act like a total fuck-stick all of the time?

But Thornton took this concept to a new level when he verbally abused an innocent Qtv Interviewer who wanted only to let him get the word out about whatever-the-fuck Billy Bob was jerking himself off to next.

Watch Billy Bob’s stupid fucking face in this video! You just want the interviewer to leap over the table and break something off in him…

The other members of his shitty band don’t do anything to help the situation either. I’ll promise you this, Mr. Thornton. When you pull shit like this, it’s not funny. It’s not cute. It makes people hate you…

You see…when Paris Hilton or the Olson Twins or whoever pulls shit like this, we expect it. We give a collective sigh and treat them like the Entertainment Industry’s quirky near-retarded sisterswho it keeps away from all its friends  until it’s bored shitless.

You are a grown man, and a decent human being. This alone is sufficient to destroy you. And I’m glad you’ve done this to yourself before you had the opportunity to make Mr. Woodcock 2.

It’s a good thing their music is unlistenable, or I’d be at least a little conflicted.

Joaquin Phoenix and Billy Bob Thornton are certainly not even remotely close to being iconic or even significantly importantin their separate careers, but being in the public eye lends them a certain intrigue and respectability, which they seem to willingly and blindly be butchering without hesitation.

Mickey Rourke disappeared from the industry’s radar for a long time. When he came back, he made Spun, The Wrestler, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, and Sin City. He’s spaced-as-fuck, but who cares? He’s amazing.

The only come-back I can conceivably predict for Joaquin and Billy Bob is an unsuccessful and poorly-thought-out opportunity to do the voices of two lovable, but slow-witted suicidal Lemmings in Walt Disney’s We Made a Horrible Mistake!

Alex G

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Filed under Arts, Events, Irrationality, Mistakes, Movies, Music, News, Rant

The Game of the Future

andrewAs most gamers have noticed, games are beginning to become more and more immersive. That is to say, video games are becoming more of an interactive and cinematic experience. The newest addition to the Fallout series, Fallout 3, confirms this trend.

Already proclaimed by many as the “best Xbox game” in 2008, this game does not disappoint. In my opinion, it is the best game made so far for the Xbox 360. If you have ever enjoyed playing an RPG than this would be the “holy grail” of RPGs.

The setting of the game is 50-plus years into the future, in a post apocalyptic wasteland that is filled with many unique dangers. At the start the game, you are allowed to customize your character’s skill set and appearance. It also takes the time to show you one of the coolest features in the game, a combat system that slows down the real time in the game called VATS.

VATS is activated by the press of a single button, and allows you to attack specific body parts of any visible targets. This system is of course controlled to prevent constant use, but gives the game a unique feature. Of course, if you do not want to use VATS, you can play the entire game as a first person shooter, one reason that makes this game so great.

Another reason this game is so good, is that it allows you to do almost anything and everything. From picking locks, to hacking computers, to killing whatever you want. The game however keeps track of the choices that you make along the way through a karma system. Giving you bad karma when you steal or good karma when you help someone.

Now, when you pair the ability to do anything with a huge unexplored map filled with lots of surprises, you get a game that has the ability to supply a tremendous amount of gameplay. This coupled with the unique combat system provides a game that is a lot of fun and is well worth the money spent on it. 


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