Tag Archives: dirty

Life Lessons from Diamond Kitty

The first time I ever feature-danced was nerve-rocking. I remember I was doing a Super Bowl special in Miami, for JMH Productions and we had to do girl/girl scenes for the commercials…but we also had to go on stage and dance. It was my first time, so I was shaking like a little piece of paper on stage. But I did it and I made 26 dollars in one dollar bills…lol

With the power of a god, I would make every woman bisexual–that is so hot…Grrr I love it.

I’ve always considered myself a nice, intelligent girl, but the nice part is not all the time. I don’t have patience, so people get under my skin pretty fast. I guess they like the bitch side of me. lol

I can’t stand when Motherfuckers try to take advantage of me…Grrrrrrr! Like I said before, I look dumb but I’m not. Don’t let the face fool you!

When I was a kid, I was fat, but I was cute :)

If my life were a crappy romantic comedy, it would be something like that Couples Retreat movie.

The worst advice I ever got was from my mom. She is horrible with addresses and driving directions.

God dammit, I wish I could have a Red Bull right now. I can’t live without it.

I think one of the shittiest things I’ve ever done was fuck my neighbor’s wife. We actually did a threesome: the 2 of us and my husband.

One thing you should know about me is that I am workaholic and kind of a control freak. I like everything in place and want everything to be my way! :)

Diamond Kitty

(for more from Diamond Kitty, visit her site!)

(return to MAIN PAGE)

Leave a Comment

Filed under Educational, Fun Stuff, Intro, Porn, Special Guest Blogger, Top 10 List

The SuperDPS Guide to Dirty Words and When to Use Them

alexbwThere are a seemingly countless amount of filthy terms and phrases out there. Some, we use every day. Others tend to be cringe-worthy and unmentionable in certain circles. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being offensive, politically incorrect, or verbally abrasive, but you must understand that some phrases carry more weight than others.

This is not to say that you should watch what you say (unless you have reason to). After all, what’s more important; freedom of speech, or the safety of never being offended? In this installment, I will attempt to create a somewhat comprehensive manual for offensive language; along with how and when to use your evil tongue.

Asshole vs AssClown–When you use a term like “asshole,” people tend to think you’re serious. Unless you’re laughing, you can’t really get away with calling someone an “asshole.” It’s strange that “hole” has become the dirtier word here. On TV, it’s Ass****…and simply calling someone an “ass” doesn’t have the impact. AssClown is similar, as it just refers to someone being a goofball or dumbass. If you really want to hurt someone, go for the “hole.”

Bitch–A very interesting word that really only has two connotations. In vulgar terms, a “bitch” is a woman…perhaps a particularly nagging one. You could use “bitch” as a blanket term for all women, but I wouldn’t suggest it. This is the primary usage of the word, and the other connotation just takes the same idea and flips the gender. Calling a man a “bitch” is usually what occurs right before fists start flying. There are two things a man doesn’t want to be called: a woman and a homosexual.

Bitch

Bitch

Bullshit–If you can’t sum up your confusion or anger with a certain concept, attitude, or sports play, you would be wise to simply refer to it as “bullshit” and let it go. It doesn’t solve anything, but it makes you feel like you’re above whatever it is that is upsetting you…at least temporarily.

Chink–I don’t think anyone under the age of 40 actually uses this word, but if they do, it’s funny. It’s such an antiquated word that it’s impossible to use it without sounding like a racist old man…so go for it!

Cock–Men feel the need to refer to their penises a lot. Perhaps it’s a defense mechanism to create the illusion their ‘egos’ don’t have the strength, size, and durability of half a McDonald’s french fry. The only danger in constantly talking about your cock is that you’re taking a risk. When the time comes when you actually get someone to see your cock, it may not actually be something worth talking about. Also, never call someone a “cock.” Be creative. There are tons of fun Add-Ons. (i.e. Cock Jockey, Cocksmith, Cocksucker, Cockface)

Coon–Racism and racist words are two completely different things. Often, people say that you know when you shouldn’t be using a word if you wouldn’t use it in front of the people to whom it is offensive. This is simply untrue. You wouldn’t say a lot of things in front of certain people, just out of respect…sometimes. Racial terms are really no exception. If you feel like a bad person for using the word, don’t use it. But as long as you’re not using it in a hateful way, you’re not really hurting anyone. There are many theories where this word comes from; including a shortening of “Raccoon,” or the doctor who came up with a dumbfuck theory that blacks were somehow less evolved than whites.

Coon

Coon

Cunt–Women tend to shy away from this word. As much as men talk about their cocks, women are the opposite about using the word “cunt.” I’m not sure why this is…and I doubt I ever will. It has long been considered the “worst word in the English language” by many authors and scholars. That alone should undoubtedly signify that it is actually the greatest word in the English language.

Dago–If you’re an Italian and you’re offended by this word, you’re probably a real Guido. Dago is a term that most Italians just embrace. It comes from the idea that a shitload of Italians were named “Diego.” Don’t hesitate letting it fly once in awhile.

Dick/Dickhead–Like “cock,” it typically refers to someone being an unprecedented jerk…or it could simply refer to a penis, obviously. Also, like “cock,” it’s another one of those words where the add-ons are much more amusing.

Douchebag–Not sure how this term grew to be used to refer to Frat boys and overly aggressive, pompous, self-absorbed males, but…if it works, it works.

Douchebag

Douchebag

Dyke–Meant as an insult to lesbians (or “bulldyke” for masculine lesbians), it has grown to become a term of empowerment in the gay community. The most believable origin of the word I’ve found is that it comes from “dike,” a French term for “men’s clothing”…therefore, referring to a lesbian as a woman in men’s clothing. Dyke. Simple as that.

Faggot–Any term that brings about racial or sexual discrimination is inherently destructive, but, then again…words tend to lose their destructive power once people become desensitized to them. Faggot (or Fag), like “Dyke” is used as a term of hatred toward homosexuals, but it is also a term of endearment between gays. In an effort to fight discrimination, many groups adopt hateful words as their own to use at their leisure. More so than “bitch,” men become extremely offended if referred to as “fags.” Be careful with this one.

Fuck–This word is so glossed over and overused in our culture that it’s almost shocking that it’s still censored. It’s become as common as “damn.” The tricky factor with this one is its dual meaning. It can be used the same way as “damn,” or it could refer to the physical act of making fuck; where it is considered much more vulgar. Here’s a game you can play at home: try to work as many “Fucks” into your sentences as possible. It’s fun, and you’ll feel like you’re in the movie Casino.

Goddamn–I’m unsure why this has become a censored word on television. Does blasphemy really continue to hold a place in what is considered offensive by mainstream culture? I would certainly have figured that we would have outgrown this by now…but, whatever.

Gook–Unless you’re Christopher Walken in Pulp Fiction, just avoid this word…not because it’s racist and offensive, but because it makes you sound out of touch with humanity. Many place the origins of the word at the Korean war. Koreans would ask soldiers if they were American, which translates as, “Mi Guk?” (Me Gook). The term stuck.

Gook

Gook

Guido–We’ve already covered this word when we talked about “Dago,” but let’s just clarify…Guido is a term that is reserved for Italians who emulate a Mafia or tough-guy persona. Jersey shore douches, too.

Jerk-off–Essentially, the same idea as calling someone an “asshole.” It’s interesting how there are so many insults that typically are applied to men only. Girls, you’re off the hook this time…fucking jerk-offs.

Kike–In the old days, Jews coming into the country would refuse to sign documents with an “X” because they thought it looked too much like a Christian Cross. They signed, instead, with an “O,” and the Jewish word for “circle” is “keikl.” Get it?

Mick–This is a word that Irish people have adopted after a long period of it being a derogatory term. It refers to the “Mc” or “Mac” at the beginnings of many Irish surnames, and many people take offense to the insult. Hardly insulting anymore, but you might not want to use it if you’re talking to a drunk Irishman. You know how they like to fight when they drink.

Mick

Mick

Motherfucker–This incest-laden insult tends to wield less and less impact the more it’s used. It’s quite a wonderful compound word, though…and useful! Actor Samuel L. Jackson is said to be a master of its usage.

Nigger–Pronounced “nigra” in the old South, it is a word that is simply translated from the Latin word for “black.” It later took on the meaning, “slave.” This is a tricky word and tends to be offensive no matter how you use it, or who you say it to. If you’re not a racist, you might be better off avoiding it, because you come off as racist. “Nigger” has enjoyed a powerful revival, not only amongst African Americas (“Nigga”), but also amongst a group who are prematurely referred to as “Hipster Racists.” Essentially, this is a group (largely made up of whites) who use the term with a sense of entitlement and irony, expressing the idea that the word shouldn’t simply be reserved for black use. In doing so, they may often come off as racists…because, you can’t really avoid it.

Poon–This is a seldom-used term is simply a synonym for vagina, much like:

Pussy–Although it is used primarily to either refer to vaginal sex or a cowardly male, it is essentially just another word for “vagina.” Any term that refers to the vagina tends to regarded as just a fun way to call someone a “chick” in the most offensive way possible.

Shit–Studies show that using foul language to express frustration or pain can ease the effects of the discomfort; so let the expletives fly! 

Shit

Shit

Spic–This is such a short and tight little word that it’s almost impossible to say it without cringing at how much you’re coming off as a hate monger. There are many explanations of how this word came to be. Some say it is short for Hispanic, which explains its current usage; however, it was once used to refer to Italian immigrants who would say “No spikka de English.” So, here’s an idea…call an Italian a “spic” and watch the confusion ensue.

Tits–Here’s a word that people use to refer to breasts when they don’t want to sound too mature; but also don’t want to sound like a fucking child and use a word like “boobs.”

Twat–This is another one of those lovely references to the vagina that is very rarely used in America. But then again, why use an ineffective word like “twat” when you have the option to break out the “Big C.”

Wop–Here’s one I haven’t heard in awhile…WOP is said to stand for “With-Out Papers” as many Italians came to America without proper paperwork. Another theory is that is comes from the Italian word “guappo” which is slang for criminal or bully. Either way, it’s probably the only derogatory term that Italians actually take offense to…

Wop

Wop

Alex G/

(return to MAIN PAGE)

1 Comment

Filed under Arts, Charity, Fun Stuff, Top Story

Porn Star Alexa Jordan Talks Dirty (with Ketchup!)

So most of you may wonder why I have such a strong feeling about the placement of ketchup in one’s home? Well it’s been a long fought argument in my house for over 2 years. I’ve had 3 sets of roommates and each time this is one of the first questions I ask of them…

It’s important to me. I don’t like cold ketchup. It’s disgusting. If you pause the video at 2:27, you’ll see that my face conveys all emotion about the subject. If you have piping hot food, why cool it down with cold condiments? It’s baffling. Restaurants keep it on the table. Fast food joints keep it in room temperature packages. Alexa Jordan keeps it in the cupboard next to the Top Ramen.

And so should you.

Alexa Jordan

(return to MAIN PAGE)

Leave a Comment

Filed under Charity, Events, Fun Stuff, Intro, Mistakes, Porn, Rant, Special Guest Blogger

“Dirty Roommates”–with Porn Girl Stevie Hart

stevie1Hi!

I’m Stevie Hart. I’ve come to terms with the fact that people want to see me naked and not read anything I have to say.

So, instead of writing some shit no one cares about, I’m submitting a video for this amazing site that so enthusiastically asked me to contribute! Without further ado, here is a video of me cleaning the toilet in my house…

I have a few roommates and not many of them are as neat as I am. It makes me a little crazy sometimes…Oh, and I ended up painting the bathroom that day and now it looks like this:

steviehart

See, wasn’t that more interesting than reading some bullshit no one cares about? Because, for sure, an up-and-coming-porn star cleaning toilets and graffiti-ing Octopuses in her bathroom is something people care about.

XOX

Stevie Hart

3 Comments

Filed under Arts, Charity, Events, Fun Stuff, Irrationality, Porn, Rant, Special Guest Blogger

Laundry List of Complaints

amazingLaundromats are always humble buildings with no supervision, populated by seedy characters. You pop quarter after quarter into one of the washing machines, wondering why the hell it costs so much just to do a load of laundry.

Consider this: It costs $1.25 to wash a load, and it costs $2.00 to get the same load anywhere approaching dry. If you buy the detergent and the dryer sheets there, you’re out another $3.00.

By the time it’s all said and done, you’ve spent $6.25 cents just to wear clean clothes for another week. Of what tangible good is that? Is anyone impressed that your clothes are clean? Do they feel better against your skin when they’re clean? Are you going to lose your job at Subway if your clothes are a little dirty? NO.

The concept of watching clothes came from an older time, back when people used to work outdoors, in the elements. Of course it’s a good idea to wash clothes caked with dried mud or covered in dust and dirt—but if you’re like me and your typical day consists of sitting around in your house, sitting around in your office and sitting around in your car, then the worst you get on your clothes is some mustard stains and a little bit of sweat if you forget to turn the AC on.

Washing clothes that aren’t visibly dirty in some profound way is a waste of time. Jeans in particular can be worn for months on end without being changed or washed. They were designed for rugged workmen who spend their days lifting heavy objects and kicking each other in the balls with steel toed boots for no reason other than the passing amusement that they garner from it.

Most of us use them for the far less rugged feat of sitting around the house, wondering when it will be time to eat again. The only time an American’s jeans are under any stress at all is when we try to squeeze our bovine asses into a pair that used to fit us 5 years and 30 pounds ago.

The only items that should be laundered with regularity are socks and underwear. Socks need to be washed because they stink like a reindeer’s wet asshole after only a day on your feet, and underwear because not all farts are what they seem.

Also, no amount of shaking, no matter how thorough, ever seems to fully dislodge the final droplets of urine from one’s cock after taking a piss. But honestly, it’s cheaper to just buy new socks and underwear at Wal-Mart than it is to launder them. To recap, shirts should only be washed when they become visibly dirty in some way. A good rule of thumb is that if stains make up an area of more than 15% of the shirt, it should be washed in the eventual future.

Jeans pretty much never need to be washed unless you spill honey on them or something. Socks and underwear should be thrown away and replaced with new socks and underwear on a regular basis.

Following my expert advice, you should cut your trips to the Laundromat down to a modest annual visit. You’re welcome.

The Amazing Atheist (Honorary Super Dude!!)

Leave a Comment

Filed under Intro, Mistakes, News, Rant, Review, Special Guest Blogger