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Life Lessons from Brandi Love

The First Time I ever kissed a man and felt light headed and slightly confused, I married him! I always wondered when I was younger how I would know who the “one” was. I had heard “you just know”, and things of that nature. But when I kissed Michael on our 3rd date ( yeah right, it was the first!) I knew he was the one because of how he made me feel, both physically and emotionally when we locked lips. That passion still makes me dizzy and weak kneed today.

With the power of a god, I would liberate peoples minds to be able to see through the thick foggy glasses society has put on people’s faces. What a world it would be if people could and would think and choose for themselves and not be so ridiculously concerned with what the masses would think. Less judgment more involvement in ones own life.

I’ve always considered myself someone who is to make new paths for others to hike on. I have always preferred, not only the road less traveled…but the road not yet traveled.

I can’t stand when Motherfuckers talk meaningless banter about others in public forums especially when they do not know the individual. Take it out back and deal with your shit in private. I mean for crying out loud get out of high school already.

When I was a kid, I really wanted to be a veterinarian. This stayed a desire of mine until I was 15 and realized that as a vet there would be times I had to put animals down, and that sometimes they died no matter what I did for them. This changed my path. I still love animals, however I simply have them as pets now and leave the medical up to the pros. :)

If my life were a crappy romantic comedy, it would not have the crappy part! Romantic comedy perhaps but mine would so not suck. I am pretty sure, ok positive it would be xxx rated. Being Swingers and truly living the hotwife lifestyle, there has not been a week without hot sex and or nudity in over 18 years! We definitely have had some wild and funny experiences that I am sure would make anyone belly laugh but it has been a hotass sexy ride. Hmmmm, maybe we should document all this activity…oh yeah we have! (Smirk) www.brandilove.com IS my romantic comedy.

The worst advice I ever got was that I could trust the judicial system to work for the innocent.

God dammit, I wish I would have fucked that rockstar when I had the chance.

I think one of the shittiest things I’ve ever done was getting caught hiding Easter eggs when that was supposed to be the Easter Bunnies job. Needless to say the Easter Bunny ceased to exist that day… :(

One thing you should know about me is that I absolutely love what I do. I am asked all the time how I balance my adult life with my professional life with family life and to me it is simple. When you love what you do and know who you are there is time for the things you choose to pursue. Priorities are always in order and then of course time management is essential. I have definitely need a hand now and again with that last one but when I follow my schedule, shit gets done and everyone is happy! It brings me a massive amount of joy to see people liberated from that which binds them. If I help just one person get to know themselves better, and start living as that person…..I have accomplished my goal.

Thanks Super DPS crew for allowing me this opportunity to hang with you guys! Cum visit me anytime (wink)

Xxx

Brandi Love

(for more from Brandi Love, visit www.BrandiLove.com)

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Honey West’s Ridiculous Porn Titles I’ve Known and Loved

honey11As a porn website reviewer for XXXpwnage.com, I’ve   seen a huge number of sites, scenes, and performers over the past couple of years doing lots of wild and weird things. It’s been quite an interesting experience and I’ve learned a lot in the process (well, maybe I shouldn’t admit that!), but I thought it would be entertaining to share with you some of the funnier website titles that I’ve encountered along my smut journey.

Let’s face it, nearly all  porn titles are  inherently pretty crazy, but some stick in my mind a bit more than others.   Even though these titles  are funny,  the  sites themselves are pretty good and  I’ve reviewed  many of them, so it’s not a reflection whatsoever  on their  content. Midget porn, amputee porn, granny porn….it’s quite a  ride!  So, here’s a brief sample of the titles that I’ve found to be  particularly funny (or disturbing?)…

Midgetcum.com
TheAmputee.com
NanaFunk.com
CumonmyGlasses.com
Mofos.com
FistFlush.com
Lolly Badcock.com
Granny Ghetto.com

Cum Fiesta.com
Little Mutt.com (not mutts by any means,  erotic chicks!)
Pee Pee Babes.com
Salami Brothers
(Comedy Porn – hey, who wouldn’t  want to fuck a chick dressed like Raggedy Ann at a lemonade stand?)
Goth Gang Bang.com

With the porn industry’s super competitive   need to cater to every imaginable sexual niche, genre and fetish out there,  they work overtime to accomplish their sacred  mission: keeping you pervs happy!

In addition to these  real porn site titles, I thought it would be amusing to make a fictional list of  websites I’d like to see,  and with so much smut swirling through my brain, it was embarrassingly easy! As easy as falling off a log (or a cock!  am I blushing?  naaaaaaaaah! I forgot how to blush awhile ago!).

Who knows,  you might actually run across some of  these  titles  someday! ( I suppose all the porn producers reading this just got a lot of   freaky new ideas for free. Damn!)

Without further adieu, here are the ridiculous porn titles I’d like to see:

You Broke My Dick, Bitch!.com
Eat  My 90 Inches.com
Nursing  Home Orgy.com
Spit  On My Wife.com
Fuck My Stump.com
Cooking With Cum.com
Bondage For Dummies.com
My Daughter Fucks Better Than Your Daughter.com
10 Million Tranny Gang Bang.com
ClubDildo.com
Yeast Infection Cam.com
Tit Monsters.com
(hmm, that might already be out there!)
Erotic Vegetables.com
Euromaniac Cum Dumpsters.com
Disco Sex.com
Diaper My Daddy.com
Blowjob Cheerleader Zombies.com
Chokefest.com
VampireGynecologists.com
ElectrocuteMyHoles.com
AmateurCoedDrunks.com
FuckMyArmpits.com
QuadruplePenetration.com
RapingForDollars.com
Clownsex.com
VintageWhores.com

I could go on all day with this creative little project,  but I think you get the idea.

Obviously,  I’ve been reviewing wayyy too much porn to “cum” up with a twisted list like this!  So,  I’ll take a healthy  time out now,  sipping my conservative cup of  Earl Gray tea and reading a Harlequin  romance to purify my soul.

Yeah, right!  Without crazy titles,  porn  wouldn’t be the porn we all know and love – what would the world be without  The Amputee doing his thing?  (albeit carefully balanced on one leg! Or is it two? lol)

If I have  aroused your curiosity  about   the   sites we’ve reviewed with   titles like Midgetcum.,   Little Mutt  or Lollybadcock (UK porn at its finest), visit  XXXpwnage.com and read our reviews  – you’re sure to find a lot more weird stuff  lurking around………guaranteed!

Honey West (Adult Web Reviewer)

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10 Hardcore Sex Tips From the Hot Woman Next Door

LaniBrookePICIs your sex life getting boring with your partner? Here are 10 ways to spice up your sex life and I have to admit I have tried almost all of them! I guess that is why they call me “Wacky Lani!”

1. While walking in the mall parking lot pull down your pants and moon your partner…but make sure there isn’t an elderly person behind you so they don’t have a heart attack. Or maybe you could have a threesome with them! That’s if you like being gummed.

2. Surprise your partner with a threesome when he is home alone playing XBOX and you are out dancing and getting wild. Come home with a girl and tell him you have a surprise for him…but be sure he stops playing XBOX!

3. Does your house need some painting done; especially in your bedroom? Nothing like the two of you painting and getting paint all over you. Get sweaty when your partner is on all fours, pull down their pants and start pleasuring them. Focus especially on the asshole! hehe

4. Like to play music instruments? How about playing the skin flute? Give your partner the best Humming session of his life. Be sure he wears just a bow tie so you can act like you are part of a symphony.

5. Have your partner wear your panties while you fuck him. Then of course you have to let him shoot his hot load of cum in your panties…then he has to wear your panties on his head!

6. Cell phone texts are fun,  too. Use a video camera on your cell phone and do a naughty strip tease for your partner–especially if you really want this person–because they will then be your partner for life! One more thing: make sure you send it to the right person and not your pastor or your parents!

7. If your partner works from home, spice up their day by flashing them–or even better, if they are on a conference, call be sure to pleasure them orally!

8. When you are in bed, tell your partner you want a threesome…and from under the covers pop out a sock puppet you made!

9. Role Playing is fun, too! You can act like Kanye West and totally take over your partner and dominate them!

10. My favorite: shoot amateur porn with your partner and send it too Homegrown Video.

I have to admit to you all I have done all ten. Guess you can say my sex life is never boring!

xoxo,

Lani Brooke

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Porn Star Kelly Divine Off Camera

kellyI’m gonna write a little bit about the difference between me on and off camera. I get questioned about this a lot and although I cannot speak on behalf of anyone else in the industry, this is me.

There is difference between on camera and off camera sex. Even if you still get off on camera it’s different. On camera is work no matter how you look at it. Usually, I get to set not knowing my partner aside from an AIM test (the industries monthly STD test).

There’s no real attachment or emotion involved. I show up, usually say hello, fuck, cum a bunch, and then go home. There’s no “dating” involved. Off camera, it’s more personal. Remember, this is just how I feel, not anyone else.

Off camera, I am not the big, dirty, slut you all see me as ;) I actually don’t sleep around and prefer committed relationships. If I have sex off camera, I’m not turned on if there isn’t a connection, a mental connection.

I hate when guys who know what I do forget that I’m still just a girl. Just because I do porn (and love it) doesn’t mean I’ll fuck anyone whether or not money is involved. I’m a porn star, not a prostitute. There’s a difference between those two things, too, IMO. If there wasn’t a difference, I’d be a hooker, I’d make more money! But I don’t.

Hope you enjoyed my rant. Remember, Porn Stars are girls too, and some are even women! Treat us as such ;) Thanks!

Kelly Divine

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A Thoughtful Moment with Porn Star Lisa Sparxxx

lisaiconBeing in the porn industry, you can get jaded sometimes.

I notice myself laughing when guys want to send me messages on MySpace or my newly deleted Facebook asking me the most descriptive questions. Examples being: “How does a man’s cum taste?”

Mind you, that question was from a man…so, how can I answer this without telling him, “If you’re asking, then you’re gay, so just go suck a dick and find out”…? LoL

lisa_sparxxx-02

I can’t. I have to be sweet little Lisa and say, “It all depends on your diet, and your smoking habit.” I really wish I was a mainstream celebrity like Angelina Jolie. I bet she never gets asked about how Brad’s spunk tastes

I’m just saying.

Lisa Sparxxx

(www.LisaSparxxx.com)

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