Is there no peak to the Insane Clown Posse mountain of triumph? It seems that whenever they reach a plateau of great magnitude, they only decide to look up and climb higher. It’s no secret that ICP is universally considered one of the greatest modern rap/rock groups in existence, but I didn’t think they could ever outdo themselves like this, their most recent release!
The term “miracle” is rarely used as haphazardly as it had once been. Medical breakthroughs or ridiculous occurrences that fall outside the realm of known explanation are often given the title of “miracle” while researchers get to the bottom of it.
For example, a Croatian girl has recently awoken from a coma speaking fluent German. That’s fucking weird!
But nevermind shit like that. Why aren’t we asking the real questions? The important questions need to be considered–and thank christ we have talented and philosophic musicians like the Insane Clown Posse to really put the magnitude of our Universe into perspective.
I don’t want to place myself on a pedestal anywhere near as high as ICP. I mean, I’m down with the clown as much as the next guy, but I their music can be so mind-alteringly genius that I must only humble myself and look up to them not only as my heroes, but heroes for the entire country.
Purely for the sake of education, I would like to set this time aside to dissect and consider all of the difficult, dark, and enlightening questions posed by Mr. Joseph Bruce and Mr. Joseph Utsler under the guise of the “wicked clowns” Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope. And to think–our brightest philosophers used to have silly names like Plato and Aristotle. JUGGALO 4 LYFE!!11!
To put this into perspective, let’s just list a few of the things that ICP thinks are “magic” or otherwise immensely perplexing:
Oceans, stars, the sky, mountains, trees, the seven seas, everything chillin’ underwater, hot lava, snow, rain, fog, long-neck giraffes, pet cats and dogs, childbirth, the Sun, Moon, and even Mars…the Milky Way and fucking shooting stars.
UFOs, a river, gardening, waterfalls and pyramids, things kids believe, fucking rainbows after it rains.
Feeding pelicans, the idea that you can’t see sound, music, the idea that you can’t hold music…and that it’s just there in the air.
Pure motherfucking magic.
Water, fire, air, dirt, and fucking magnets!
The idea that scientists are all liars and don’t know about magic. Solar eclipse and vicious weather. Fifteen-thousand Juggalos together.
A caterpillar turning into a butterfly, the idea that your children resemble you, crows, ghosts, a midnight coast?
The truth is, I really wish I had an answer to give them. When I think about the weight of the universe and the implications that they’re making through this song, I have to say, “Magic is everywhere in this bitch.”
Perhaps the purpose of this video–and for the Insane Clown Posse in general is to keep up the notion that they’re playing music for the downtrodden youth, the kids who get picked on, and the boys and girls who want to rise up and say: “Fuck the world!”
But who is their audience, really? 12-toed inbred redneck hicks and pieces of shit from Jersey.
The reason they can get away with writing a song like this–and making a video for a song like this–is simple: Magic.
There exists a certain level of inexplicable magic in this country that somehow, some way, causes individuals to be so supernaturally retarded that they:
a) Don’t know how fucking magnets work.
b) Think that this bullshit is legitimate music that should be taken seriously.
I’ve had my disagreements with Insane Clown Posse fans in the past, and they tend to make some attempt at the English language, so I can’t fault them completely. I do realize that I am building up what will inevitably be another wrath of angry ICP fans as well.
But ICP fans fucking should be angry–not just at the world for asking them how they manage to dress themselves in the morning–but at ICP for keeping them unified in a subculture of obvious and arrogant stupidity.
Whether you write, sing, or listen to a pride-ridden rap song about the “magic” of long-neck giraffes, you’re fucked…and if this song gets anywhere near the top of any iTunes or Amazon list, so is our society.
–Alex G/ I will read your hate mail and laugh at you.
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