Tag Archives: clown

ICP has done it AGAIN!

Is there no peak to the Insane Clown Posse mountain of triumph? It seems that whenever they reach a plateau of great magnitude, they only decide to look up and climb higher. It’s no secret that ICP is universally considered one of the greatest modern rap/rock groups in existence, but I didn’t think they could ever outdo themselves like this, their most recent release!

The term “miracle” is rarely used as haphazardly as it had once been. Medical breakthroughs or ridiculous occurrences that fall outside the realm of known explanation are often given the title of “miracle” while researchers get to the bottom of it.

Don't judge me!

For example, a Croatian girl has recently awoken from a coma speaking fluent German. That’s fucking weird!

But nevermind shit like that. Why aren’t we asking the real questions? The important questions need to be considered–and thank christ we have talented and philosophic musicians like the Insane Clown Posse to really put the magnitude of our Universe into perspective.

I don’t want to place myself on a pedestal anywhere near as high as ICP. I mean, I’m down with the clown as much as the next guy, but I their music can be so mind-alteringly genius that I must only humble myself and look up to them not only as my heroes, but heroes for the entire country.

FREE THE POSSE!

Purely for the sake of education, I would like to set this time aside to dissect and consider all of the difficult, dark, and enlightening questions posed by Mr. Joseph Bruce and Mr. Joseph Utsler under the guise of the “wicked clowns” Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope. And to think–our brightest philosophers used to have silly names like Plato and Aristotle. JUGGALO 4 LYFE!!11!

To put this into perspective, let’s just list a few of the things that ICP thinks are “magic” or otherwise immensely perplexing:

Oceans, stars, the sky, mountains, trees, the seven seas, everything chillin’ underwater, hot lava, snow, rain, fog, long-neck giraffes, pet cats and dogs, childbirth, the Sun, Moon, and even Mars…the Milky Way and fucking shooting stars.

Grab yo hatchet and let the Faygo flo!

UFOs, a river, gardening, waterfalls and pyramids, things kids believe, fucking rainbows after it rains.

Feeding pelicans, the idea that you can’t see sound, music, the idea that you can’t hold music…and that it’s just there in the air.

Pure motherfucking magic.

Water, fire, air, dirt, and fucking magnets!

courtesy of Ryan Sun

The idea that scientists are all liars and don’t know about magic. Solar eclipse and vicious weather. Fifteen-thousand Juggalos together.

A caterpillar turning into a butterfly, the idea that your children resemble you, crows, ghosts, a midnight coast?

The truth is, I really wish I had an answer to give them. When I think about the weight of the universe and the implications that they’re making through this song, I have to say, “Magic is everywhere in this bitch.”

…or…

Perhaps the purpose of this video–and for the Insane Clown Posse in general is to keep up the notion that they’re playing music for the downtrodden youth, the kids who get picked on, and the boys and girls who want to rise up and say: “Fuck the world!”

But who is their audience, really? 12-toed inbred redneck hicks and pieces of shit from Jersey.

it's true.

The reason they can get away with writing a song like this–and making a video for a song like this–is simple: Magic.

There exists a certain level of inexplicable magic in this country that somehow, some way, causes individuals to be so supernaturally retarded that they:

a) Don’t know how fucking magnets work.

b) Think that this bullshit is legitimate music that should be taken seriously.

I’ve had my disagreements with Insane Clown Posse fans in the past, and they tend to make some attempt at the English language, so I can’t fault them completely. I do realize that I am building up what will inevitably be another wrath of angry ICP fans as well.

But ICP fans fucking should be angry–not just at the world for asking them how they manage to dress themselves in the morning–but at ICP for keeping them unified in a subculture of obvious and arrogant stupidity.

Whether you write, sing, or listen to a pride-ridden rap song about the “magic” of long-neck giraffes, you’re fucked…and if this song gets anywhere near the top of any iTunes or Amazon list, so is our society.

Alex G/ I will read your hate mail and laugh at you.

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Insane Clown Posse: Revisited

alexbwI should have known better than to think my uphill battle with our good friends the Juggalos (along with non-denominational fans of Insane Clown Posse) was anywhere close to being over.

In an entry posted on December 21, 2008, I recently received the following Comment:

“sad thing is, all of you stupid fucking dipshits can’t say the shit to our faces, cause your too afraid we’ll fuck you all up, why don’t you grow the balls to say the shit to our faces insted of acting like a coward.

Juggalo-fo-life biotch.”

(^SIC)

Well, needless to say, I was hurt very deeply by this obvious misunderstanding, so, in a Comment back to ~Mastodon~666, I attempted further clarification:

“I’d like to issue a formal apology to you, Mastodon.

While I can not apologize for my feelings, specifically, I can understand why you are so upset. Perhaps I was being too hard on you.

I mean, it’s the 21st Century, for cryin’ out loud. There’s absolutely no reason why myself and functionally retarded people like you and your fellow ‘Juggalos’ can’t attempt to talk this all out.

…except for the fact that it might be difficult to understand you while your mouths are all full of Faygo and cock.

I’d also have to respectfully disagree with your run-on sentence about how I’m too scared to say all of this to your face.

If I knew you (and trust me, I don’t want to) I would probably have no problem saying it to your face.

…of course you may have to stay several feet away, due to the potential contagiousness of whatever degenerative disease that makes all of you people so fucking ridiculous.

There’s absolutely no shame in being developmentally disabled. I’m sorry if you were inadvertently offended by my remarks in this post.

But, seriously, stick by your aging, sell-out, washed-up, illiterate clowns, and I’ll continue to stick up for the honest and true music fans who don’t consider “Horse-shit” a viable genre.

After all, if you quit now, sensibility wins!

Until next time, stay down with the clown.

Alex

I can only hope that some omnipotent being can understand my true feelings and intentions and relay the message, on behalf of myself and the rest of the world, to these disgruntled red-necks who can’t seem to get over a novelty rap-rock group from the 1990′s.

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