1) You are a heterosexual male/female using the word ‘Fag’ in a pejorative manner.
What ever ‘smart’ reasons you might have, (saving an already broken relationship, having someone to love you unconditionally, etc.) your plan will backfire and create resentment.
3) You are underemployed and able bodied and sit around complaining about how bored you are and how you can’t pay your bills.
But you are not actively looking for work! Instead you lay around the house all day watching TV and looking at anything other than employment opportunities online.
4) You are over 25 (not in school) and have roommates.
5) You are a male friend who thinks that because…
a) I work in the adult industry.
b) I’ve had sex with a wide variety of ages and body types and, you know, I’m so cool to hang out with.
c) We have a really good time hanging out and shooting the shit.
…we should just take the next step and fuck each other or that we’d ‘make a really good couple’.
Um, no. The answer to this is:
a) I’m NOT interested.
b) I’m not shy, if I were interested in you sexually YOU would be the first to know. I’m not shy. I wouldn’t keep it a secret.
c) I don’t want to date you.
6) I’ve traveled with you and seen the worst side of you…Guess what? I really didn’t like it.
7) You are a psychic vampire.
Your life is a series of complaints and misery which you seem to endlessly be whining about to other people, (anyone who will read about it online or listen to you) but you don’t do anything to help yourself out.
If you don’t want to help yourself out, don’t think that I want to help you out either. I’m not a licensed therapist and you are not paying me.
8) You are someone who randomly emails me on MySpace or Twitter asking to chat, leaving your number, asking for my MSN, Yahoo, or AOL IM account (double this sentiment if you have never heard of spell check.)
I don’t ‘chat’ and I don’t want to trade pictures with you.
9) You are the last one in the group to take your wallet out when out for drinks or food.
Not carrying cash, sneaking off to the toilet, or wandering away to look for an ATM. You are not being sneaky or clever, you’re just being a douchebag.
10) Your attention span is so short that you can’t remember what you said or did a week ago, or even ten minutes ago and now you want to debate it.
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