In this week’s episode we introduce the hashtag #googlyboob and venture into why Batman villains never succeed in their evil deeds. Boston Strong in this week’s Super Dudes Power Show!
Tag Archives: batman
Some men aren’t looking for anything logical…some men just want to watch the world burn.
Why so cereal? #ManBearPig
There’s a shitload of geek anticipation over the next Batman villain, so we thought we’d give this dude a shot. He may not be movie star material, but he’s got the bulge and lazy eye to go pretty far in our book.
Could we just be honest with ourselves and admit that Inception was a cinematic masterpiece that far-exceeded anything he has done in the past?–and, yes, that does include The Dark Knight. Typically, when a film maker with Nolan’s talent and ability creates a picture of this quality, he has shit the proverbial bed.
Not so, I feel, with Christopher Nolan. From Insomnia to The Dark Knight, Nolan has never really been “disappointing” to me. But he is also a director with a vision we do not know much about yet. We haven’t really gotten “used” to Nolan outside of our Batman expectations and his obvious admiration for fine actors and Film Noir.
But let’s return to the point I made earlier–the heretical statement that Inception was somehow a superior film than The Dark Knight. Bloggers and columnists have actually managed to scribe a thought so profane and mind-numbing that I’m hesitant to believe that they even take themselves seriously. The idea was: “Now that Nolan got this dream-movie out of his system, he can get back on track with the next Batman sequel.”
Really? Fuck you. Really?!
Don’t get me wrong–The Dark Knight was phenomenal, as was Batman Begins–but they are (for all technical purposes) Comic Book Superhero movies. Of course they can be done well in the right hands. The source material is virtually infinite–you know all of the stories and how they turn out–and for fuck’s sake, after Batman and Robin, as long as the Batman isn’t wearing ice skates, I’m impressed.
But Inception takes film to a whole other level (like Avatar, except not totally gay) and it shows. Chris Nolan showcased some of the greatest actors in Hollywood today–and I’m not just saying that because I’m a total homer for Joseph Gordon Levitt, either…(wasn’t Brick fucking amazing?)
Hopefully this film puts Levitt on such a cinematic plateau that he will never even have to think about being in a G.I.Joe movie ever again.
Without spoiling anything–at least nothing that hasn’t been spoiled already–let’s talk about the ending.
And the only thing about the ending that can be said is that you’re either going to laugh, groan, or let loose a string of profanity toward the big screen and everyone you care about. But before you do, know this: it doesn’t matter.
Inception‘s conclusion is insignificant, but not without meaning. The lifeblood of the film is in the journey and the mental labyrinth involved in the psychology and philosophy of dreams–exhibited in a kind-of Matrix and Minority Report level of sci-fi with a Dark Knight level of Noir modern-ish realism.
Essentially, it’s enough of a literary mixing pot to make an English Professor jizz his pants.
Think of the film’s ending as an inside joke with the audience–a tongue-in-cheek jab-in-the-ribs that all of you are a part of after sitting through the movie. Of course it will have you talking. It will have you talking for fucking hours.
…but when you walk out of the theater and hear someone’s cunty girlfriend asking, “Wait, so what happened? I don’t get it.” Try to ignore it, and be safe in the knowledge that–not unlike the finale of LOST–you’re amongst a demographic of people who “get it,” and that’s what makes this film so much more special than many will inevitably realize.
And if that makes you an asshole, so be it. Be an asshole in IMAX.
Is all that we see or seem but a dream within a dream? Poe. Edgar Allan.
I know this is long overdue but it’s one of those things that you have to do. Like talk to relatives! 2009 has not been the best year for me. In fact, it was quite possibly the worst. Started out with my grandfather passing away (his funeral being the day right before my birthday), my mother getting diagnosed with breast cancer, our house getting broken into ( a week after she was diagnosed), rising insurance rates on my car, getting laid off from my job, and my two year relationship with my girlfriend ended. Oh and my cat got hit by a car and killed. On my sister’s birthday.
But moving on in lightning speed headlines of hilarity (in no particular order and if you don’t know them, google them dammit).
I became a Super Dude in the beginning of last year (which Alex is probably banging his head on the desk for as we speak).
Madoff goes to Jail! (get it?! like Madea goes to jail? You know that’s funnier than anything Tyler Perry has ever done, so stop rolling your eyes).
Governer Rod Blagojevich missed his calling as a ticket scalper.
The Sahalis and the Heenes both made themselves look like assholes on national television in attempts to get their own reality tv shows. I guess the reality is that they are in fact assholes! See, no need to go on tv and waste anymore airtime than you already have!
Michael Jackson died, boys pants were at half mast that day. (and the hate mail comes in 3..2…1…)
Patrick Swayze is in the big Roadhouse in the sky kicking angels in the face and dancing in leather pants.
Farrah Fawcett passed away after a grueling battle with cancer. (no joke there)
Billy Mays, no longer here.
Brittany Murphy, where were you Clive Owen?! (that’s a Sin City reference joke folks, go watch it)
David Letterman is a pimp!
Chris Brown auditioned to play the role of Ike Turner in the remake of “What’s love got to do with it?”
John and Kate plus 8 -1 = Psychotic crazy devil woman and cheating thieving bastard plus 8!
Super Dude Dave and Super Dudette Michelle got married and even went so far as to be responsible for inviting me to their wedding!! Super Dudette Laura was also married in 2009!!!
A sequel was made about that movie with fangless, abstinent, glittery vampires. The ozone layer was destroyed by the intense reflection from smiling teenaged girls with braces all across america.
District 9 came out! Finally a breath of fresh air in sci fi films that isn’t sucked out by George Lucas.
Star Trek nerds were pissed about the remake, people who get laid were not.
The Hangover, finally they made a story about my life!
Up…. didn’t see that one.
Avatar was awesome. It had to be. If I waited that long in line and it sucked, someone was getting kidney punched. And by kidney punch I mean decapitated and set on fire. I left a bit of a mess after seeing X-Men Origins : Wolverine. Oops
Transformers : Revenge of the fallen. Not much to meet the eye. I blame that for my failed relationship. Fuckin robots…
Tiger Woods Pro Golf 2009 rated M for mature. Contains, brief nudity, sexual references, and your wife BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!
I wasted my life on:
Batman : Arkham Asylum (best superhero game ever made)
Resident Evil 5 disappointed me (and I’m a huge fan of the series)
Beatles Rockband, Assassins Creed 2 ( addicting and awesome)
Left 4 Dead 2 ( fun and frustrating)
Prototype ( disguising yourself as an old woman and scaling up buildings while tearing someone into pieces had never been this fun since season 5 of Golden Girls. RIP Bea Arthur.)
Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Athena ( two very fun games in one fueled by Vin Diesel the muscle nerd)
Ghostbusters (not the greatest game but man did I have nostalgic tears streaming down my face)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (a game where the actual video game is better than the movie. I’m as dumbfounded as you are!)
Red Faction Guerilla, Modern Warfare 2, Dragon Age: Origins (my life)
Grand Theft Auto: Lost and the Damned (How DLC should be!)
So there you have it. Not a truly impressive year, there was a lot of international news going on that year but it was filled with terrorist attacks, assassinations, corrupt leaders and like the true American I am I laughed and chewed on piece of cow and read the bible!
Actually I just didn’t feel like writing about it, but I have a feeling 2010 will kick ass especially for our loyal readers and fans out there! We have some pretty awesome stuff we’re working on for this year, The Super Dudes Power Show, our usual mix of awesome guest writers an contributors, and kick ass articles (maybe not this one but the others rock!) and we hope you love it!
Stay tuned Super Dudes and Super Dudettes!!!
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After a long period of waiting around for a decent Batman game to launch after the disappointing Batman Begins clusterfuck, fans of the Dark Knight are finally rewarded. I’ve played Batman games before, but it has always felt like a typical action game featuring a central character wearing a Batman costume. Arkham Asylum created a lasting experience.
Let’s get a few things out of the way first…
–The graphics are phenomenal.
–The voice-over work is exceptional.
–The story plays out like a Batman mini-series rather than an actual film, but that’s not a bad thing. It’s more like the Animated Series that we all know and love.
–The controls are a little wonky, but once you train yourself to work past that, it flows seamlessly and effortlessly from then on.
–Sound effects are dark and often scary.
Whew…glad we got of that technical bullshit out of the way. I played through Arkham Asylum fairly quickly, but it wasn’t what I would call a “short game.” A short game can be completed by playing it 2 hours per day for about 3 days. A normal game should keep you busy for about a week…and a good game should create an addiction.
Arkham Asylum is a combination of Metal Gear Solid stealth and superhero game play. Most of the time, you’ll find yourself critically thinking out situations to eliminate all threats and remain completely unseen. Other times, you’re free to just leap into the middle of a room and kick some ass. The combination of these two seemingly incompatible game styles keeps the game interesting, flowing, and exciting.
The story, in case you didn’t know, is that the Joker gets loose in Arkham Asylum, releasing certain inmates that aid his plot to use a formula called TITAN to create a race of superhuman beasts. All of the villains in the game are used intuitively–by which I mean that at no point does a Batman nemesis simply “appear,” causing a “WTF?!” reaction. They all have a special place in the game…with the exception of Zsasz, but fuck it.
The environment is fairly “open,” but the story is linear…if that makes sense(?) You can go anywhere you like on the island to find extra trophies and solve (the Riddler’s) riddles, but there are no “side missions.” The game makes up for this by offering separate “Challenge Missions” where you can attempt high scores on various stealth or combat scenarios. Your Challenge Mode scores are then compared with others around the world.
Batman’s abilities and arsenal are updated throughout the game and through points earned by completing challenges, which has become a staple of any adventure game because it works. There are no distinct “BOSS FIGHTS” in the game, in my opinion. Every significant battle is played out through the game’s story. The game doesn’t really put you on hold for a “boss fight.”
Arkham Asylum isn’t perfect and it can often be frustrating (especially the virtually impossible Joker Challenges), but it will almost certainly be on your short list of top next generation games. The replay factor is extremely high, which is a plus for those who prefer to purchase games. It will not collect dust on the shelf for quite some time…
…but most importantly, it is the most immersive superhero game I’ve ever played. I loved Spider-Man: Web of Shadows, but this goes beyond the open world hero game. Arkham Asylum embraces the linear storyline and makes it its bitch. You will feel like you’re playing as the Batman, and not just controlling a character. You’ll have to think like Batman and move like Batman…and this game gives you every conceivable opportunity to do that.
If you haven’t played this game yet, you probably don’t like video games.
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