Tag Archives: 360

Few Things are More Satisfying Than Killing Nazis

Whether it be in cinema, video games, or World History, there rarely comes a moment as wholly emotionally gratifying as watching a Nazi drown in a pool of his own blood. And it is with this scenario in mind that we take this time to review two new releases: Inglourious Basterds and The Saboteur.

Inglourious Basterds is a work of historical fiction written and directed by Quentin Tarantino, released earlier this year. The World War II revenge flick was just released on DVD and Blu-Ray in time for Christmas, so now is as good a time as any to review it.

Tarantino is the master of taking a tired concept and making it fresh–and this is just what he did with Basterds. While it bears the same name as an older exploitation WWII flick, it is not a remake. This is a fresh piece of cinema that packs in enough edge-of-your-seat intensity that it becomes difficult to watch.

But what am I telling you for? You’ve almost certainly already seen it, and if not, you’re a damn fool. The film focuses on two sets of protagonists who never come into contact, but who are fighting similar battles against German Nationalists.

The first group are the Basterds–a squad of Jewish-American soldiers led by Brad Pitt. Their sole mission seems to be killing as many Nazis as possible before they bite the bullet–until a British soldier joins their team and focuses their mission on blowing up a theater full of German soldiers.

The second story is that of the Jewish owner of the theater, a young woman who barely escaped a raid on the Paris house where her family had been hiding. She swore revenge on the Nazis who killed her family, and naturally, in true Tarantino fashion–she’ll fucking get it.

It’s a very beautiful, brutal, and comical portrayal of vengeance in Nazi-occupied France. Buy this film!

If you enjoyed Inglourious Basterds, and you’re a gamer, you will adore the final release by Pandemic Studios, The Saboteur. Some of Pandemic’s releases in the past have been give-and-take, but The Saboteur has achieved a full-on grip around my attention.

The game follows the standard sandbox, character in the middle of the screen, circular map/life-bar/wanted level model as every other open world game, but it’s nice to see the new innovation.

You play as Sean Devlin, a drinking, smoking, Irish racer, mechanic, and stereotype. He’s a man’s man with a penchant for snapping Nazi spines. The only problems I can find with this game are its lackluster controls (namely for sneaking and climbing) and the excessive amount of driving necessary for an open-world Paris…

Sean’s “brother” is murdered by a particularly evil Nazi (which just seems redundant), and this sets him off on a murderous rampage of killing and destruction.

The climbing and assassinating causes me to compare this game to Assassin’s Creed, but in almost every other way, it’s Grand Theft Auto: Nazi Occupied France. The game is very good and lots of fun to play; but I’m not above honesty–and to tell you the truth–if the setting were any different, it would be a generic sandbox shooter.

Supremacists always look better like this...

Killing Nazis doesn’t necessarily make a bad game better, but it certainly doesn’t make it worse. Luckily for The Saboteur, the gameplay, story, graphics, and acting is actually very captivating–and when you pair that with killing Nazis, your weekend is full.

Alex G/

(return to MAIN PAGE)

Leave a Comment

Filed under Arts, Events, Fun Stuff, Games, Holidays, Movies, News, Purchases, Review

Dragon Age: Origins–Part 5

Don’t judge me. If I had a problem, I would almost certainly admit it. Although I have absolutely no way of knowing for sure, I feel as if I am slowly approaching the end of this fucking game.

I’m well aware how possible it is that I will get to the conclusion only to be thrown naked in the middle of a forest having to essentially start the game over again. But it doesn’t seem like this is the case.

Much of the game looks like this...wandering from place to place...but it's totally worth it,

I haven’t actually reached the end yet, so I may be speaking too soon…but I’m finding myself slightly disappointed. If this truly is the end, what do I do now? There is no more map to explore, not really any more missions to accomplish…

…is life now obsolete? We’ll see. If there is no Part 6 of this stupid series of articles, you will know that I have gladly taken my own life rather than live one more miserable day in a non-Fantasy world.

Peace, fuckers.

Alex G/

(return to MAIN PAGE)

Leave a Comment

Filed under Arts, Fun Stuff, Games, Purchases, Review

Dragon Age: Origins–Part 4

I no longer consider Dragon Age: Origins to be a meaningless game. It has become a fucking problem that needs to be solved. I don’t feel that I have a problem, per say. Suffice it to say that it is beginning to feel like an epic equation that must be evaluated for the sake of my psyche. OK, I guess that means that I do have a problem.

Forgive me–but I can’t help myself. The game is so immersive and challenging that every victory feels like a personal one. Every discovery or achievement that impacts my game playing experience causes an unmistakable feeling of real-world accomplishment.

The "moral decisions" in this game would be easier if the demons weren't so fucking sexy..

While I am no doubt addicted to this ridiculously interminable–and at times inscrutable–video game, I am still trying to figure out why I feel this way. Like the most powerful of drugs, you only want more and more, even though you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is sucking the delicate life-force from your limp, uncaring flesh sock.

I’ve won over the Elves, Mages, and Knights, but I still don’t feel that I’ve done enough to take on this Blight that faces our Kingdom. Had I actually been playing a “real” role in this Role-Playing Game, I would declare to the highest royal authorities that we’re all pretty well fucked backwards.

These epic fantasy games are supposed to help you escape from your tedious, bland life into a world of magic and tomfoolery–but how do you escape that world and get back to living your life? I think that’s the real challenge here.

On one hand, people who play World of Warcraft have something that I don’t–they are able to interact with other human beings during their gaming activity. On the other hand, I have one thing that they don’t–sex.

Alex G/

(return to MAIN PAGE)

Leave a Comment

Filed under Events, Fun Stuff, Games, Purchases, Review

I’m excited about Ghostbusters III…am I stupid?

alexbwThe short answer is “no.” None of us who get a little pants-tingle over the notion of a third installment in the Ghostbusters franchise are particularly in the wrong. If you’ve played the Ghostbusters Video Game, you should have had some of that nostalgia satiated, but the need for something more often creeps unfulfilled through your daydreams like a starving  Gila monster.

Fans have been dicked around for quite some time when it comes to a Ghostbusters follow-up. We were promised a new video game to whet our appetites, and after a rigoddamndiculous delay, we finally got what was promised to be the closest to another Ghostbusters movie we were going to get. When the game received mixed reviews, Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis decided “fuck it, we’ll do another one.”

The only bits of info we’re being spoonfed for this new endeavor are that Aykroyd and Ramis will be involved in production, the cast will be the same (including Rick Moranis and Sigourney Weaver), and Ivan Reitman will be somehow involved. Directing, perhaps?

This news comes via Bloody Disgusting, who also give us a sneak peek at the plot of GB3. Evidently, the new movie will involve the Ghostbusters getting old and reopening their spirit hunting business after a long period of inactivity. No shit.

Was there really any doubt about that? What else could the plot of Ghostbusters III possibly be?

But anyway, the whole cast has confirmed their involvement with the project. Reitman is on for sure, but not sure what he’ll be doing yet…and the plot involves characters that we used to love hunting trouble-making apparitions in between frequent bathroom breaks and having to ask people to “speak up.”

Can’t be any worse than Ghostbusters II.

Alex G/

(return to MAIN PAGE)

Leave a Comment

Filed under Fun Stuff, Hot News, Movies, News, Top Story

10 Hardcore Sex Tips From the Hot Woman Next Door

LaniBrookePICIs your sex life getting boring with your partner? Here are 10 ways to spice up your sex life and I have to admit I have tried almost all of them! I guess that is why they call me “Wacky Lani!”

1. While walking in the mall parking lot pull down your pants and moon your partner…but make sure there isn’t an elderly person behind you so they don’t have a heart attack. Or maybe you could have a threesome with them! That’s if you like being gummed.

2. Surprise your partner with a threesome when he is home alone playing XBOX and you are out dancing and getting wild. Come home with a girl and tell him you have a surprise for him…but be sure he stops playing XBOX!

3. Does your house need some painting done; especially in your bedroom? Nothing like the two of you painting and getting paint all over you. Get sweaty when your partner is on all fours, pull down their pants and start pleasuring them. Focus especially on the asshole! hehe

4. Like to play music instruments? How about playing the skin flute? Give your partner the best Humming session of his life. Be sure he wears just a bow tie so you can act like you are part of a symphony.

5. Have your partner wear your panties while you fuck him. Then of course you have to let him shoot his hot load of cum in your panties…then he has to wear your panties on his head!

6. Cell phone texts are fun,  too. Use a video camera on your cell phone and do a naughty strip tease for your partner–especially if you really want this person–because they will then be your partner for life! One more thing: make sure you send it to the right person and not your pastor or your parents!

7. If your partner works from home, spice up their day by flashing them–or even better, if they are on a conference, call be sure to pleasure them orally!

8. When you are in bed, tell your partner you want a threesome…and from under the covers pop out a sock puppet you made!

9. Role Playing is fun, too! You can act like Kanye West and totally take over your partner and dominate them!

10. My favorite: shoot amateur porn with your partner and send it too Homegrown Video.

I have to admit to you all I have done all ten. Guess you can say my sex life is never boring!

xoxo,

Lani Brooke

(return to MAIN PAGE)

4 Comments

Filed under Charity, Fun Stuff, Special Guest Blogger, Top 10 List

Enjoy Your Stay at Arkham Asylum

alexbwAfter a long period of waiting around for a decent Batman game to launch after the disappointing Batman Begins clusterfuck, fans of the Dark Knight are finally rewarded. I’ve played Batman games before, but it has always felt like a  typical action game featuring a central character wearing a Batman costume. Arkham Asylum created a lasting experience.

Let’s get a few things out of the way first…
–The graphics are phenomenal.
–The voice-over work is exceptional.
–The story plays out like a Batman mini-series rather than an actual film, but that’s not a bad thing. It’s more like the Animated Series that we all know and love.
–The controls are a little wonky, but once you train yourself to work past that, it flows seamlessly and effortlessly from then on.
–Sound effects are dark and often scary.

Whew…glad we got of that technical bullshit out of the way. I played through Arkham Asylum fairly quickly, but it wasn’t what I would call a “short game.” A short game can be completed by playing it 2 hours per day for about 3 days. A normal game should keep you busy for about a week…and a good game should create an addiction.

Arkham Asylum is a combination of Metal Gear Solid stealth and superhero game play. Most of the time, you’ll find yourself critically thinking out situations to eliminate all threats and remain completely unseen. Other times, you’re free to just leap into the middle of a room and kick some ass. The combination of these two seemingly incompatible game styles keeps the game interesting, flowing, and exciting.

The story, in case you didn’t know, is that the Joker gets loose in Arkham Asylum, releasing certain inmates that aid his plot to use a formula called TITAN to create a race of superhuman beasts. All of the villains in the game are used intuitively–by which I mean that at no point does a Batman nemesis simply “appear,” causing a “WTF?!” reaction. They all have a special place in the game…with the exception of Zsasz, but fuck it.

The environment is fairly “open,” but the story is linear…if that makes sense(?) You can go anywhere you like on the island to find extra trophies and solve (the Riddler’s) riddles, but there are no “side missions.” The game makes up for this by offering separate “Challenge Missions” where you can attempt high scores on various stealth or combat scenarios. Your Challenge Mode scores are then compared with others around the world.

Batman’s abilities and arsenal are updated throughout the game and through points earned by completing challenges, which has become a staple of any adventure game because it works. There are no distinct “BOSS FIGHTS” in the game, in my opinion. Every significant battle is played out through the game’s story. The game doesn’t really put you on hold for a “boss fight.”

Arkham Asylum isn’t perfect and it can often be frustrating (especially the virtually impossible Joker Challenges), but it will almost certainly be on your short list of top next generation games. The replay factor is extremely high, which is a plus for those who prefer to purchase games. It will not collect dust on the shelf for quite some time…

…but most importantly, it is the most immersive superhero game I’ve ever played. I loved Spider-Man: Web of Shadows, but this goes beyond the open world hero game. Arkham Asylum embraces the linear storyline and makes it its bitch. You will feel like you’re playing as the Batman, and not just controlling a character. You’ll have to think like Batman and move like Batman…and this game gives you every conceivable opportunity to do that.

If you haven’t played this game yet, you probably don’t like video games.

Alex G/

(return to MAIN PAGE)

Leave a Comment

Filed under Fun Stuff, Games, Hot News, Purchases, Review, Trailers

The Game of the Future

andrewAs most gamers have noticed, games are beginning to become more and more immersive. That is to say, video games are becoming more of an interactive and cinematic experience. The newest addition to the Fallout series, Fallout 3, confirms this trend.

Already proclaimed by many as the “best Xbox game” in 2008, this game does not disappoint. In my opinion, it is the best game made so far for the Xbox 360. If you have ever enjoyed playing an RPG than this would be the “holy grail” of RPGs.

The setting of the game is 50-plus years into the future, in a post apocalyptic wasteland that is filled with many unique dangers. At the start the game, you are allowed to customize your character’s skill set and appearance. It also takes the time to show you one of the coolest features in the game, a combat system that slows down the real time in the game called VATS.

VATS is activated by the press of a single button, and allows you to attack specific body parts of any visible targets. This system is of course controlled to prevent constant use, but gives the game a unique feature. Of course, if you do not want to use VATS, you can play the entire game as a first person shooter, one reason that makes this game so great.

Another reason this game is so good, is that it allows you to do almost anything and everything. From picking locks, to hacking computers, to killing whatever you want. The game however keeps track of the choices that you make along the way through a karma system. Giving you bad karma when you steal or good karma when you help someone.

Now, when you pair the ability to do anything with a huge unexplored map filled with lots of surprises, you get a game that has the ability to supply a tremendous amount of gameplay. This coupled with the unique combat system provides a game that is a lot of fun and is well worth the money spent on it. 

Andrew

1 Comment

Filed under Arts, Games, Hot News, News, Review, Special Guest Blogger