Google Answers Your Most Popular Racist Questions

They can be positive or negative, but either way–their main purpose is to create an pseudo-understanding of a culture that we disconnect ourselves from and make no real attempt to learn about. Read More

 The Top Ten Bands Ruining Music

Their mere presence in the musical scene contributes nothing to the future of auditory illumination, but rather fucks society by creating young musicians who will inevitably look up to these assholes for inspiration…Read More

 I Love Movies, But I Hate Yours: Step Up 3D

They live it, they breathe it, they digest it, they fart it, they everything it, and it always comes first for them. While their passion is fairly admirable, it’s also a bit laughable. Read More

 I Love Movies, But I Hate Yours: The Other Guys

Ugh, remember Cop Out? I wish I didn’t. That bore-fest of a parody flick has unquestionably painted a big black stain on Kevin Smith’s career and will make its victims quiver in fear whenever its title is mentioned to them. Read More

The People for Basil Marceaux

How can you deny the legitimacy of a disciple of the new Republican party with 3 teeth to his face who introduces himself as “BasilMarceaux.com?” Read More

Christopher Nolan and his INCEPTION

“Now that Nolan got this dream-movie out of his system, he can get back on track with the next Batman sequel.” Really? Fuck you. Really?! Read More

...you’ve no doubt heard that MTV has picked up the series for a second season (thank god) to be set at Miami Beach in Florida. Read More

...The bad news? You’re going to have a baby; a baby that will inevitably grow up to become a fascist just like mommy and daddy. Yikes. Read More

Scott Pilgrim VS The World

Either A, the most likely young, geeky projectionist with an acne-infested face has totally fucked up his job; or B, you’re about to watch a weird and obscure movie which has taken high inspiration from popular video games. Read More

The Switch

...while rom-com The Switch contains more drama than you’d think (false advertising), it nevertheless has the opportunity to alter this genre’s current predicament. Sadly, it doesn’t look like it’s going to. Read More

The Expendables

There are too many characters, leading to many being undeveloped and the ’80s action vibe isn’t enough to hold it together. Some fans may find gratification here, but I didn’t. For me, it was more Cobra than Die Hard. And Cobra sucked. Read More

Here's an oldie-but-greatie! I've worked in local news and I still have no fucking clue how shit like this makes it on the air.

We Watched The Human Centipede So You Don't Have To!

Just say “this movie is pretty creepy,” or “watch this movie if you want to see a not-quite-foreign film about people who are forced to eat one another’s poop.” Maybe, and I’m not saying when, but maybe sometime I’d actually be in the mood for something like that. After all, I sat through Iron Man 2. Read More

 

I knew the legends were true. As noted in Dress Down Day 110, the human party is inescapable. He draws you in--mesmerizes you with his one-man party--and soon, you're on so much crystal meth, you just forget why the fuck you were ever on that hill in the first place.

It's always good to have someone else around. No sense in being all alone with your Johnson.