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Jesus Christ, Amanda Bynes

Jesus Christ, Amanda Bynes

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I’m not a fan of paparazzi and getting into celebrities’ business or hassling them on the street. I do, however, fully support swift and immediate scrutinization when they create their own controversies just for attention. #AmandaPlease

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May 1, 2013 · 11:49 pm

RIP Roger Ebert :(

RIP Roger Ebert :(

Writer and Film Critic, Roger Ebert died today at 70 years old. He was a good man. A strong man. And he will be missed.

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April 4, 2013 · 4:27 pm

Life Lessons from Former Porn Star Ava Rose

AvaRoseMy coming into porn was much like the first 15 minutes of a B-flick slasher film. I got a MySpace message from a ‘porn director’ and his girlfriend, a ‘retired pornstar turned make-up artist’. I use the  term “artist” very sarcastically in this case.
Anyhow, the message contained:
1) An introduction: Hi, I’m so and so and I’m an ex-Playgirl centerfold turned Hustler porn director and this is my GF. She used to be in porn until I knocked her up and now she’s a MUA.
2) The body paragraph: We’re going to be in Carson City, NV visiting family and want to shoot nudes for Mattsmodels.com.

I said OK but I’m going to bring my sister. Of course we did a little research to see that he was at some point a legit porn person. He was a scum with a sex addiction, but after we came to LA we were able to meet some great people who were in the industry as well and the rest is history.

My mom is from Germany and remains a German citizen, my dad (RIP) was born and raised in Arizona. My dad was what we’d call white, though his grandma was full Native American which, aside from his skin color–’tanner then the average whitey’–there was no real Native American defining features passed on to my dad.

Being raised in Sutton,  Alaska was great. Our mom was our school bus driver, which at that time was awesome because we got up to get dressed and went right out to my moms school bus (she kept it at home because the bus yard was 13 miles away in Palmer) and went back to sleep for 2 hours while she did her usual bus route.

Now that I’m older and wiser (along with having a stronger sense of self) I feel like first thing’s first: I need to be mentally stimulated as well as physically. I’m incredibly sarcastic at times so I dig that in a guy (most times). In order for sarcasm to be a good quality it must be well balanced with an all around good natured person. A sarcastic asshole is just an asshole.

Sexually, I’m very passionate. Passion is a drive and sometimes that drive takes you to new territories with someone sexually. It depends on the guy I’m with. What turns me on sexually with one may not be the same with another.

I literally love so many different types of music it would take forever to list. I started listening to ‘underground hip-hop’ back in 2003 when a BF of mine had a CunninLynguists album and also a Pigeon John album in his car’s 6 disk changer. Oddly enough it was from then on I expanded my music tastes to trip-hop, trance, ambient…so on and so forth. Thanks, underground!

[Having a sister--Mia Rose--in the adult industry was] awkward for us both. Not to mention the occasional asshole who had to comment something along the lines of ‘ wow you’re both in porn, your parents must have really fucked up’ which is just an incredibly stupid thing to say on many levels.

I’m an old-timer these days and haven’t performed since February 2010. I had my son Max November 2010. I had time on my hands while I was pregnant so I went back to college. Work and play makes up a mom’s life.

While i was under contract with Adam & Eve, I was fortunate enough to get the chance to spend 12 days in Budapest, Hungary shooting Carolina Jones. I had gotten there 2 days early to meet up with a friend who had been backpacking Europe. We spent two days exploring Budapest which is actually two different cities in a way. The Danube River separates the city so on one side there’s ‘Buda’ and the other is ‘Pest’. After my contract with A&E ended 2 years later I got to shoot a lot with Elegant Angel director Mason and Belladonna for Evil Angel.

My motivational drive these days is my son, Max. His future depends on the choices I make now.

I don’t think I’ll ever shoot again, but I won’t say never. It was a great personal experience but I’m older now and a mom. I am the type of person who needs to put in a lot of hard work in school for 6 or so years to become an anesthesiologist assistant. Then let those years of hard work and the need for that particular trade to carry me in an always stable career.

avarose2I’m humble and truly did enjoy my time in the industry, overall. I was able to be not only a contract girl for Adam & Eve and travel to amazing places like Budapest to shoot a feature film, but also I was able to shoot with amazing directors like Mason at Elegant Angel (that whole company is just amazing) and Belladonna and right hand man/husband Aiden and not to forget Van Styles because he also is a great camera man among other things. People who knew how to capture the feeling in a scene. Haha–this is getting deep.

Oh man, I really took a lot of knowledge with me. No joke.
(For more from Ava Rose, follow her on Twitter and Facebook!)

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Super Dudes Power Show, Ep. 34 “Colostomy Boy, w/ Comedian Alex Grubard

LISTEN HERE: http://podcastmachine.com/podcasts/12841/episodes/79743

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Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Here’s a present for all of you! roses

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Super Bowl Hangover

(written by Milly B. Chacon for The Sports Junkie Hippie)

Let’s put this Ravens Super Bowl win in context.

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The Ravens are, almost unquestionably, a great football team. They just beat what most people would have suggested to be the league’s three best teams in three consecutive games, with zero of those games played at home. They did it without ever trailing by more than a touchdown, having been in the lead for the entire second half in New England and all night on Sunday in New Orleans. These were not fluke wins; the Ravens were the better team in each of the four contests, and had they lost any of them, it would have been an unfair result with the wrong team advancing. They didn’t enjoy fumble luck or close-game luck or even floodlight luck. They were every bit as brilliant as the confetti implies they were.

Which is why it’s even more important to really put this thing in context. As recently as New Year’s Day and as early as Halloween, you could have argued that the Ravens were a mediocre football team with very little fuss from folks who don’t consider purple to be a base color of their wardrobe. In Week 11, the Ravens could only muster up a three-point win over a Steelers team that had a gimpy Byron Leftwich at quarterback in a game in which their offense — the same one that looked unstoppable in the first half of the freaking Super Bowl — couldn’t even score a single touchdown. The following week, it took a miraculous fourth-and-29 conversion to push the game into overtime and for the Ravens to eventually beat the lowly Chargers in San Diego, in a game in which that same offense scored just one touchdown. A week later, they lost to a Charlie Batch–led Steelers team in Baltimore. They blew an eight-point lead in the fourth quarter against the Redskins in Washington, got embarrassed by the Broncos at home, and after finally showing up with a big win over the Giants, limped into the playoffs with a meaningless loss at Cincinnati.

If you think that tells you that the Ravens elevated their game when they needed to, I can’t agree. What it really tells us is that we know way less about teams than we really think we know. Every recent piece of information we had about the Ravens heading into the postseason suggested that they were a floundering team limping in by virtue of a successful start to the season, some lucky bounces, opposing injuries, and strong performance in close games. Baltimore started 6-1 in games decided by a touchdown or less, with its only loss to Philadelphia, of all teams, before losing their final three such contests. We had a clear curve for Baltimore’s true level of play, and it was trending further and further downward. And yet, from that point forward, everything we thought we knew about the Ravens was wrong. For every power rankings article you read in November and every set of odds you saw in December, nobody had any idea that the Ravens were capable of putting together a four-game stretch this good. Was “play like the best team in football” really a switch they were waiting to turn on during the playoffs? Or were they capable of this all along and just hadn’t yet exhibited this level of play?

This isn’t a new argument, either, or one of “peaking” at the right time. The Ravens are the 2011 Giants, or the 2007 Giants, or the 2010 Packers. They’re the reminders that you don’t get the full picture of a team and what they can do from a 16-game sample, just as you fail to get the entire story from a 16-game sample in other sports. The only difference is that those other sports get 66 or more games to reveal more about their teams. In football, we get 20 games max.

It’s because we know so little about these teams that it’s so important to try to judge them based upon their level of play as opposed to their win-loss record (and even that’s going to be flawed). Go back to that Ravens-Broncos game three weeks ago. If Rahim Moore hadn’t blown a seemingly simple coverage, Baltimore would’ve been out of the playoffs without anybody giving a second thought to how well they played. They would’ve been the plucky team who beat an over-matched Colts squad in the emotional cauldron of Ray Lewis’s final home game before giving the Broncos a tough match-up and coming up short. The seemingly impending breakup of the veterans on this team would’ve gone off without a hitch, with Lewis retiring and the Ravens moving on from the likes of Ed Reed and Anquan Boldin as rumored.

Even more stark is how different these teams would’ve looked if the 49ers had finished their comeback and won Sunday. Let’s say that the 49ers got off their second-down quarterback counter with Colin Kaepernick without calling a timeout, since it looked like it was about to steam into the end zone, and let’s pretend that the Ravens’ drive to tie/win fell short. Do you know who the Ravens would’ve gotten compared to? The Falcons, the team who blew an enormous lead that seemed to be slipping from their grip for most of the second half. Joe Flacco would’ve drawn comparisons to Matt Ryan for beating up the 49ers defense in the first half before only briefly succeeding in the second half. And Kaepernick? Well, he would’ve been the leader of the new Kardiac Kids, a team that just doesn’t know when to quit, a squad that has led nearly unprecedented comebacks in consecutive games. That line between winning and losing is so ridiculously thin, and yet it becomes the basis for about 98 percent of the discussion surrounding a team.

Of course, just as 16 games isn’t enough to get the total picture of a team, 20 games isn’t a perfect sample. For all we know, the Ravens could really be the league’s seventh-best team if we ran this season one million times. The question the NFL season seeks to answer isn’t who is the league’s best team; it’s who is the league champion. And in answering that question, the Ravens provided us with the latest reminder of one of the few things we actually do know about the modern NFL: As long as you make it to the playoffs, it doesn’t matter how you got there. And once you’re in the playoffs, you can throw just about everything you think you know about a team out the window.

Swap Meet

In the playoffs, every story line is ex post facto, with the process graded after the fact by whatever the outcome was. You know the stories. A team with a first-round bye is refreshed and full of energy if they blow out their opponents (often as big favorites at home), but rusty and lost their timing if they lose to their opponents, who don’t have anybody believing in them but themselves. It’s one of the laziest bits of analysis you’ll see about sports.

To extend that further, there are stories about the players in this Super Bowl that totally change by virtue of what happened on that fateful fourth-down call near the Baltimore goal line in the fourth quarter. In many cases, the players weren’t even on the field for the play in question, but it’s still enough to lock in narratives surrounding those guys that may end up defining or redefining their respective careers. Again, in many cases, that’s inaccurate. It’s worth evaluating how those players and their performances look in a vacuum; or, perhaps more interestingly, if the Niners had completed their comeback and pulled out a victory with a touchdown on that spot. A quick go-around:

Ray Rice wouldn’t be the only scapegoat for a Baltimore loss, but he would get plenty of attention for his third-quarter fumble, one that gives him nearly as many fumbles in the playoffs (five) as he’s produced during the regular season (seven). The fumble furthered the San Francisco comeback and set them up for a possible game-tying touchdown opportunity, only for the defense to hold the 49ers to a field goal. Don’t think the Ravens didn’t react to it; there was a reason that Bernard Pierce got a carry on that final possession. If the Ravens had lost, Rice would’ve been lambasted and forced to answer questions about his playoff fumbling habit for the next five years. Since they won, everyone forgets about the fumble and Rice’s fourth-and-29 conversion is used as the manifestation of Baltimore’s never-say-die attitude.

Jacoby Jones is an example of how postseason labels shouldn’t stick around for very long. Last year, Jones was the goat in Houston after fumbling away a punt against these very same Ravens. This year, he was the GOAT in Baltimore’s playoff run; Jones held on to that season-changing touchdown catch against the Broncos to tie the game, and on Sunday, he had a 56-yard touchdown catch and a 108-yard kickoff return for a touchdown.2 If the Ravens had lost, Jones’s heroic effort would’ve been an afterthought amid a crushing loss, but because the Ravens won, Jones’s MVP-caliber playoffs can overshadow his disappointing fumble last season.

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Ray Lewis didn’t come up short in his retirement tour, meaning he can ride off into the (Bristol) sunset with his second ring. I suspect his final game will be remembered for his speech afterward; had the Ravens lost, we’d probably be talking about how slow and lumbering Lewis looked in the first half, when the 49ers threw at him repeatedly with crossing patterns from Michael Crabtree and Vernon Davis.

Colin Kaepernick would have to change the meaning of “Kaepernicking” from his touchdown celebration to the idea of coming back from any sort of large deficit while making it look easy. Instead, after the 49ers lost, I saw Kaepernick criticized during the postgame shows, which seems bizarre considering that the 49ers were unstoppable for most of the second half (and not too shabby in the first half, either). Yes, he made a bad throw that led to a first-half interception, and he was late on a second throw on the subsequent series that was nearly picked. It’s hard to find a bad throw from him the rest of the way, and I can recall at least one glorious pass up the sideline to an open Vernon Davis that wasn’t caught. Kaepernick played well enough to win. Sometimes, you can play well enough to win and still lose. This was one of those times.

Randy Moss could have been a hero. There were a number of plays in which Moss was open for possibly big plays and Kaepernick either chose a different receiver or wasn’t able to get the ball to him. A scrambling Kaepernick had an open Moss in the back of the end zone in the first quarter, but didn’t see him and instead overthrew Michael Crabtree on a drive that eventually produced a field goal. Later, Moss was open on a deep post on the aforementioned Davis drop, but Kaepernick decided to throw it elsewhere. Tack an extra 50 yards and a touchdown onto his totals and Moss would’ve left this weekend with some extra respect. Instead, it’s just another failed attempt for Moss to win a title.

Donte Whitner was involved in enough blown coverages and missed tackles to choke a horse on Sunday, just as he went missing during New Orleans’s comeback against the 49ers in the divisional round last year. In that game, the 49ers were able to drive down the field and score the game-winning touchdown, absolving Whitner of his mistakes; this time, they weren’t able to come back, and people watching the tape will see a player who was targeted on many Ravens plays. You can say the same for Chris Culliver, who was the target on many of Baltimore’s routes up the sidelines.

Welp, hope this blog helps your recovery of your hangovers folks!

Take Care.

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For more from Milly B. Chacon (@JustMissMilly) check out her blog at TheSportsJunkieHippie.com. Hear her on KWXV Fox Ch 24/ 107.9FM at 5pm or her Columns at @DirtySoutHipHop and HHS101Magazine

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What the Fug is Going on with Marvel?!

For a company, now paired with Disney, Marvel seems to be “accidentally” letting a lot slip about the future (“Phase II” & “Phase III”) of their multi-million dollar franchise. Oh, right, I should say this now: SPOILER ALERT! As in, what follows may contain SPOILERS, or maybe not. Maybe everyone is wrong and Marvel is in on the joke; but just be warned. PLAUSIBLE SPOILER ALERT!

First, let’s talk turkey–and by “turkey”, I mean Iron Man 3. Just about a week before the new Super Bowl Teaser trailer dropped, Marvel had been picking up the pieces of a major “Phase II” leak regarding the series. And the leak was this:

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Probably doesn’t look like much, but what it is (allegedly) is a tell-all regarding the film’s end. As Marvel had announced, director James Gunn will be at the helm for the upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy film (which I know almost nothing about other than it involves Thanos and a Rocket Raccoon). The catch here is that the finale of the Iron Man 3 film will involve Tony Stark heading to (fucking) Space to team up with the Guardians, pushing forward his story in Phase II. Surprising? True? Who knows! But sources say: YES! And Marvel is genuinely peeved.

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But that’s not all. As Marvel is a company that likes to plan entire future franchises way ahead of time (not unlike Pixar), they have many many secrets on the table and aren’t so great at keeping them there. The next giant SPOILER news regards “Phase III” and the Universe post Avengers 2. According to an info leak, actor Mark Ruffalo will be getting his own HULK movie which will follow the story line of Planet Hulk (if you’re not already in the know, look it up. Click the link, or check out the animated movie on Netflix).

While the news may not seem like a huge cataclysmic bombshell of information, it seems to be getting on Marvel’s tits quite a bit. They’re looking to get litigious and whatnot, so we can only assume there is some truth to these rumors.

Sources to check out: Aint It Cool News, Latino Review, & MTV UK

Oh, also…before I go, Kevin Smith is making a CLERKS 3Let that sink in for a while…

L8

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Happy Post-Super Bowl Monday everyone!

There’s not much I can say or do that will aid anyone on this post drunken Puppy Bowl ride into tedious jobs in the morning except that you should consider yourself fucking lucky you have one.

My work is ongoing and I am attempting something old, new, borrowed and blue. I’m also dreading Valentine’s Day, which, for someone who is broke and dressed to impress, is a double-edged sword.

I leave you with this. Something I can only be proud of, but something I will never live down. Good luck.

A parody of THIS man:

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Happy Groundhog Day, everyone!

Here’s a little gift from Comedian Dave Temple ( @ImDaveTemple ). You’ll enjoy it if you like seeing a grown man fall on his face like a fucking groundhog.

@Cotton215
@ReggConquest

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Aww Skeet Skeet, Mr. President

In response to an interview that Barack Obama did for New Republic magazine in which he stated that he “always” goes skeet shooting at Camp David, an onslaught of Republicans cried “bullshit”. This became the hot-button issue for a whole goddamn day. Nothing else seemed to matter.

Has anyone seen the president shoot a gun? Pics or it didn’t happen!

Nothing will ever be good enough for Obama’s opposition, so why does he continue to appease them. When asked if he’s ever fired a gun, what he should have said was: “I have, but who really gives a fuck?”

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But he didn’t. So, as was the “Birther” calamity, his White House had to produce evidence to appease crazy. This president has seemingly done more to attempt to calm the bag of raving cats than anything else.

I’d like to quote TIME’s website, just to illustrate how truly batshit this whole ordeal is:

“The White House photo released Saturday is dated Aug. 4, 2012, and shows Obama shooting at clay targets on the range at Camp David.

The rifle is cocked in Obama’s left shoulder, his left index finger is on the trigger and smoke is coming from the barrel.”

Who is this description for? Those who can’t see the picture? Those who are confused by what they’re looking at?

The only comfort that the Obama administration can now have after releasing this telling(?) image is that experts at FOX NEWS and people living in underground bunkers are working ’round the clock to find a way to prove that this was Photoshopped.

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