SuperDPS Obligatory 2011 Golden Globe Predictions

Well it’s that exciting time again to passively watch and potentially immerse ourselves in what is–and let’s be honest–essentially a watered-down version of the Academy Awards. And it’s good that we have The Golden Globes, because how else would shitfest features like Burlesque be hurled, frightened and confused, into an award ceremony, led to believe that it has an equal opportunity to win a shiny trophy.

The host, Ricky Gervais, is one of my favorite people ever, so I’m very excited to see what he brings to the show this time around. His honesty and irreverence makes, in my opinion, one of the best hosts of all time as well.

As I did last year, I will post the predictions here and then update them in real time as the ceremony progresses, highlighting correct predictions and lamenting the incorrect.

(Updates are marked with a “#”)

So let’s get started:

Best Supporting Actor: Andrew Garfield (The Social Network)

#(Winner: Christian Bale (The Fighter)–Whatever. I didn’t see the movie, but he’s a great actor and he’s lookin’ sharp, too. The biggest shame is that they didn’t give enough time for Bale to get wasted before the first award announcement of the night. Maybe next time.)

#Best Actress in a TV Drama: For some reason I forgot to add this in, but I’m so glad the winner is Katey Sagal from Sons of Anarchy…one of the best series of the year! I didn’t make a prediction for this, but I feel like I would have chosen her from the list of nominees…so I’m just gonna say this is a victory for me.

Best Miniseries or Made for TV Movie: The Pacific

#(Winner: Carlos–No idea what this is or what it’s about. I think it’s the life story of Carlos Mencia…)

Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries, or Made for TV Movie: Eric Stonestreet (Modern Family)

#(Winner: The Gay Kid from GLEE–I don’t like GLEE, but fucking amazing speech)

Best Actor in a TV Drama: Steve Buscemi (Boardwalk Empire)

#(Winner: YAY! I was right. Now he won’t have to smear lipstick on his face and cross the head of the foreign press off of his hit list.)

Best TV Drama: Boardwalk Empire

#(Winner: Right again! This totally deserved to win, although it was a really hard category. I love every show that was nominated. I’m more excited that I guessed two in a row. I mean, really, this is my night.)

Best Original Song: Coming Home (Country Strong)

#(Winner: You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me (Burlesque)–What bullshit. Can we just pretend this never happened?)

Best Original Score: Hans Zimmer (Inception)

#(Winner: Trent Reznor (The Social Network)–This would’ve been my second choice. Glad it went to a worthy movie. Original Score is a better category than Best Original Song, anyways. Reznor made this movie even better.)

Best Animated Feature Film: Toy Story 3

#(Winner: Big win, and obvious. Gotta admit, I was scared of The Illusionist, but I didn’t see it, so I thought I’d go with my favorite. “Were you two even born when the first Toy Story came out?” Priceless.)

Best Actress in a Comedy: Julianne Moore (The Kids Are All Right)

#(Winner: Annette Benning (The Kids Are All Right)–Right movie, wrong chick. Didn’t see it. Can’t comment.)

Best Actor in a Miniseries or Made for TV Movie: Al Pacino (You Don’t Know Jack)

#(Winner: Al Pacino, right again. He could’ve easily lost this, but I figured he won all the awards before, so it must be good. Didn’t see it. Controversy equals awards.)

Best Actress in Miniseries or Made for TV movie: Claire Danes (Temple Grandin)

#(Winner: Claire Danes again! Must be a good movie. But how many toothpicks can Temple Grandin count?)

Best Screenplay: The Social Network

#(Winner: Aaron Sorkin (The Social Network)–Can’t help it. Best movie of the year! The dialogue is so quick and so spot-on, it can’t help but win the best writing. You must agree…or else.)

Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries, or Made for TV Movie: Kelly McDonald (Boardwalk Empire)

#(Winner: Jane Lynch (GLEE)–Don’t know much about GLEE, only seen a couple episodes, but I have no love or interest in GLEE at the moment. Maybe I’ll get into it a year after it’s cancelled.)

Best Foreign Language Film: I Am Love

#(Winner: In a Better World–Fair enough. I didn’t see any of these movies. I just tried to pick the most positive-sounding one. That usually works for foreign films. Right? Right?!)

Best Actress in a TV Comedy or Musical: Tina Fey (30 Rock)

#(Winner: Laura Linney (The Big C)–OK. I don’t get it, but whatever. 30 Rock is definitely one of–if not the–funniest show on TV right now. But cancer’s funny, too, I guess.)

Best Actor in a TV Comedy or Musical: Thomas Jane (Hung)

#(Winner: Jim Parsons (The Big Bang Theory)–Ricky Gervais was right. You always win if you play someone who’s retarded. The Big Bang Theory is a decent show. Definitely stands out amongst most shitty TV comedies these days.)

Best Supporting Actress: Helena Bonham Carter (The King’s Speech)

#(Winner: Melissa Leo (The Fighter)–Didn’t see the movie, but great. At least ridiculous-looking Helena Bonham Carter didn’t have to get on stage. Don’t want to give Tim Burton the satisfaction.)

#(CECIL B. DEMILLE AWARD: Robert DiNiro. OK.)

Best Director: Christopher Nolan (Inception)

#(Winner: David Fincher (The Social Network)–I was hoping that The Social Network would sweep, but I wasn’t confident enough. Glad this award went to the director of my favorite film of the year.)

Best TV Comedy or Musical: 30 Rock

#(Winner: GLEE–Can’t say that I’m surprised, but I don’t get it. OK, I get it, but I don’t get it. So many album sales and so many viewers. I liked the atheist episode…Christ, I don’t know what to say. The longer this ceremony goes, the drunker I get, so I’ll just end it with congrats, Glee.)

Best Actor in a Comedy: Kevin Spacey (Casino Jack)

#(Winner: Paul Giamatti (Barney’s Vision)–No idea what this movie is or what it’s about. I’m glad it won, though…if only to see Paul Giamatti drunk and high on chocolate on stage. Brilliant.)

Best Actress in a Drama: Natalie Portman (Black Swan)

#(Winner: Natalie Portman!!!!111111!!!!–An obvious choice. Most intense acting I’ve seen in a long time. This movie will stay with me in my nightmares forever. I hope she has a super-awesome baby who George Lucas can exploit in Star Wars remakes, reimaginings, and re-whatevers in the future.)

Best Comedy or Musical Motion Picture: The Kids Are All Right

#(Winner: Obviously. Who else was going to win this? Burlesque was robbed! Oh, it was for BEST comedy or musical. Sorry. Apologies.)

Best Actor in a Drama: Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network)

#(Winner: Colin Firth (The King’s Speech)–Sonofabitch. Oh well. I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. I can see that Colin Firth actually had to play a distinct and difficult role. All Jesse Eisenberg had to do was talk faster. British actors always have an unfair advantage when it comes to playing–well–anything.)

Best Drama Motion Picture: The Social Network

#(Winner: YAY! Best movie! I’m so happy this won. I never thought I’d be so excited for Jesse Eisenberg, but I can’t imagine a better actor for the role. Everyone involved in this did an incredible job. I went out of my way to a special theatre to see it. Good night everyone, and thank you to those who followed me tonight…and sorry to those who were annoyed by my constant updates.)

Check back with us starting at 8PM (EST) to get the updates as we get them and see where we went horribly wrong.

(return to MAIN PAGE)