OK, you cunts. Let’s see what you can do now…

It has become increasingly clear that the day of Batman and Robin is over. No longer will comic book inspired movies have an underlying need to appeal to the goofy broad base of children and popcorn shovelers.

Are there bad comic book adaptations? Absolutely–but KICK-ASS is not one of them.

KICK-ASS is set in a moderately realistic America where all of the superheroes we currently know of only exist in graphic form, and modern conveniences like YouTube play a significant role in society.

Another fit, attractive young British Actor taking our American jobs.

Perhaps I’m naive, but until this movie was announced, I had no idea it was a comic book that I will, at some point, force myself to read. Though a large chunk of the movie is devoted to brutal violence and a little girl cursing like a sailor, the film goes much deeper and darker than I had anticipated.

For those of you expecting a dumb anti-Superhero date-comedy, you might be pleasantly surprised. The film is very funny, yes, but it’s also thrilling, dramatic, and–well, fucking kick ass.

Where the film diverges from the original source material, it works on a cinematic level. Some elements were altered, but not necessarily for the sake of a “Hollywood ending.” Yes, the main character gets the girl in the film, and loses her in the book–but in the film, Hit-Girl has a slightly more tragic story…so, it’s give and take.

If you haven’t gathered this from the preview, KICK-ASS is the story of Dave, a total comic book pussy who every girl thinks is a fag. He decides to create an alternate reality wherein superheroes exist–and he is one of them. He gets mixed up in some mafia shit and teams up with some costume-wearing assassins, Hit-Girl and Big Daddy (played weirdly and neurotically by an Adam West impersonating Nicholas Cage)…and guess what: lots of people die.

The theater I attended to see KICK-ASS during the afternoon was–not surprisingly–practically empty.

…but then a woman entered with about 8 fucking little fucking kids, who proceeded to plant themselves directly in front of us. About 10 minutes into the film, they all got up and walked out of the theater as if to say, “We came to see a hard R-rated blood splattering revenge flick, not some actor masturbating to images of his teacher’s tits. We have been misled.”

KICK-ASS is getting a lot of shit because it’s “not a kids movie,” as if half of America is blissfully ignorant of the concept that young actors in a movie does not mean that movie is going to be High School fucking Musical 4. –I own the rights to that title, so nobody try to steal it. I’m looking at you, Wayans Brothers!

She'll be taking over for Chris Hansen soon enough.

It’s an adult movie with a lot of shit that adults like–sex, violence, and 11-year olds saying shit like: “OK, you cunts. Let’s see what you can do now.”

I was in love with this movie…and as soon as I left the theater I wanted to see it again. Take that, Avatar…I bet right now James Cameron is swimming in his lake of money, emotionally distressed by the idea that I thought his movie was pretty gay.

KICK-ASS ftw. See it…then see Death at a Funeral or something, because that might be pretty funny, too. What do I know?

Alex G/

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Filed under Arts, Fun Stuff, Movies, Review

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