Recently, I took a trip to Canada (of all fucking places); Ottawa to be specific. Naturally, I had no idea what was actually in Ottawa except for a few examples of gorgeous Gothic architecture that I could see any time I want in America through something called Google. So why does anyone travel anywhere? What the fuck do I want with awe-inspiring architecture?!
What am I gonna do with this shit?!
As soon as I arrived in Ottawa, my nasal passages were overcome by a sensation that practically floored me. The air was actually refreshing! Canada, if I want to be refreshed, I’ll buy a $3 bottle of Spring Water. I don’t need your fucking charity. It’s almost as if the entire pompous city is patronizing me; pointing and laughing as I struggle to breathe in this purified oxygen.
The first thing I did when I entered the Canadian Hellscape was grab some fast food at a Wendy’s rest stop. I couldn’t wait to absorb the dirty looks from the underpaid cashiers as I flaunted my American Money like Scrooge McFuck. But no. Nothing works in Canada the way it’s supposed to. The Wendy’s cashiers are all pleasant young women and they actually talk to you like they give a shit. Where the fuck am I?!
What have I gotten myself into?
This trip has already gone south and I only just stepped out of the car.
Alright, so I’ve seen all the giant buildings and shit, and then I start thinking…where are all the cell phone stores and check cashing places? Where can I trade my gold in for cash? On first glance there was nothing around but monuments and memorials. I didn’t even know Canada had fought in any wars!
I can do this at home...
So after wandering aimlessly around my prison-like hotel room with king-size bed, giant bathtub and flat screen tv (what good is a huge TV if it only plays Canadian television shows?!), I realized that I needed to exchange my good old American currency for some queer technicolor Canada cash.
Sexually ambiguous military men cross multiple cultures.
What the fuck is a looney? A tooney? Who came up with this concept? You know how much fun it is to have spare change in your pocket? Well, let’s make you carry bigger and bulkier change to replace your practical $1 Bill…and the $2 coin?! We got rid of $2 Bills years ago. Get with the program, Canada!
If my money is worth more, what the fuck am I doing with all these coins?!
After trying to figure out what great American heroes were trying to be portrayed in these Canadian memorial statues, I came to the disparaging conclusion that I wasn’t getting anywhere. I needed to have a drink; so I popped woefully into the shittiest-looking bar I could find. Perhaps in a local dive, I could acquire some of American bar hospitality. All I wanted to do was witness someone quickly jolt into a blind rage or an elderly gentlemen sipping his sorrows away until his inevitable grim death.
“Have a beer, eh!”
“Where’re you guys from then?”
What the fuck is that all aboot? I don’t come to a bar to be chatted up by pleasant, interesting people. It’s a bar, goddammit!
So I needed a cigarette; but where to find them? No cigarette ads, no flashing signs encouraging myself and mature-spirited children to come on in and puff away.
In Canadian culture, naked incestuous dancing is a time honored tradition.
Finally, I find a shop selling cigarettes, which I can hardly afford…almost $10 a pack?! Shame on you, Canada. Poor people need to be able to kill themselves quickly. Making it so that only happy rich people can afford cigarettes is torture. And the tobacco industry is no doubt suffering. Canada, embrace your Cigarette Industry!
It's like drinking a bottle of water that says "SOMETIMES PEOPLE DROWN"
And lastly, when on vacation, you hope to get away from your government. Everything in America is Obama, Obama, Obama. Can I just escape from the blinding glory of Chocolate Jesus for a week??
I’m ready to embrace a new government…whatever government Canada has (I suspect none).
And all I see in Ottawa is “OBAMA CAME HERE!” They’re much more excited by our politics than their own and Obama has become bigger than Brad Pitt. I was compelled to buy an Obama cookie, but what would that do to aid our economy? Dick.
The cookies were a chocolate/vanilla swirl. Appropriate.
And in a nutshell, that was my trip to Canada. Luckily I got out of that hellhole when I did. Imagine being trapped there forever…the horrors of socialized medicine…the pristine air and weather…the brazen friendliness of everyone you meet? Get me the fuck out of here.
(for more information on Canada, visit your local Library. Oh, it’s closed?…uh…well, it wasn’t really important anyway)
(return to MAIN PAGE)
Go fuck yourself, you dirty prison bitch.
I don’t think that’s something a Super Dude would have said…
Well said Alex. That sums up the Canadian experience nicely!
Canada what a funny name. i lived in canada for a while man it is one of the worst places on this planet
government can fuck you up for no fucking reason and people have no idea what a shitty life they have. fucking cowards every where
French haha
it was really fucking bad idea when i moved there
fuck canada
living in a giant freezer each 8 months of the year)
fuck all canadians because they ve all reached a very high level of stupidityfuck the cold freezing weather in canada(imagine youself
fuck canada because people pay 50% taxes
fuck canada because despite the bad weather its a very 10000 boring place where you can not do any thing for exitement(beleive me no1 most boring country in the world)
fuck canada because where i live in montreal there is no fucking sea
fuck canada because although there are so many churches over there no body and i mean no body goes to one or prays
fuck all canadians because they are addicted to a very useless boring silly and meaningless game called hockey
lets pretend that hockey is a nice game fuck canada becauase it never wins
fuck canada because where i live (montreal) every one seems to hold on to his french language and accent while no one talks the real fucking french
fuck all canadians because they are pussies and even when insulting them no one dares to fight back for his dignity
fuck canada because where i live in montreal a home for 3 million human being only contains 4 fucking universities
fuck canada for its fucking severe laws and rules that forbides you from living freely
fuck canada because it has the most ugly nightlife in the world (canadian nightLIFE is a nightMARE for us immigrant)
fuck canada because all the hot girls seem to like stupid guys (so i wonder what should i do to be stupid like them in order for a hot girl to like me)
fuck all canadians because they dont have any idea about the shit life that they re living( i advise them to live a couple of years in any other country like for example lebanon and see the real beauty of life)
fuck every ones who likes canada(what s in to like)
Were you dissing Canada? I’m sorry I couldn’t hear you over my health-care benefits!!!!!
Well, Canada is crap I can say living here for this many years, you could just jump off a bridge, that’s if it hasn’t fallen down already. However, the author of this post has no education as we can all see with the terrible use of the english language as well as the nonsense cigarette issue, you shouldn’t be smoking anyways, hello !
I would move in a second from this wannabe country however, meeting a person like this makes me think twice about going to the US.
Hey Mackenzie, are you referring to your third world health care benefits? The ones that you and every other Socialist loving tundra dweller thinks is his birthright?
Maybe you love your putrid Tim Horton’s coffe too?
Yes, you should feel very good about yourself while your quasi communist government rapes you by stealing 50% of your paycheck while forcing you to watch re-runs of the Beachcombers and The King of Kensington!
You go commie-lover!
It’s interesting how you guys are all fucking retarded–and it’s sad that I’d have to actually come out and explain that this article is ironic and satirical. You want to get mad at me, and at each other? Fine. Go fuck yourselves.
this article clearly shows how pathetically clean, sadly safe and overly oxygenated Canada is. from the stupidly great architecture, why build great buildings if they’re not at the epcot center?
I mean sderiously. and the awful entertainement and personalities thT Cnada has. I mean michael j. fox is practically the poster child for parkinsons…
canada – why? heaven is meant to be after death! duh! dumb canucks.
Clean? In Downtown, maybe! So the tourists can buy the fucking Canadians’ lies.
Safe? Well, with bridges falling apart, banks getting robbed all the time, cars getting stolen, gangs everywhere, mafias also, drugs, and go on…yeah it’s very safe indeed!
Canada? Overly Oxygenated? Only if you are talking about Canada from another dimension! `Cause Canada I know is over polluted.
But SAD? In this case I have to agree…Canada is the most boring place in the world!
Fucking shit hole…
Nothing to do, borring and ugly people, very expensive, cold as hell (-45C), grey, lots faggots, obsolete…no nothing!
Thanks God, I’m out of that fucking place! I’ve tossed out my shitty Canadian Passport already… Now, Canada NEVER MORE!
Just BRAZIL FOREVER, thanks Lord!
*Hey, can you really imagine Canada without USA? I mean, what if USA stop helping that shit hole…huh?
By the way, check it out: http://www.imigracaocanadense.blogspot.com
Enjoy it!
I respect you’re opinions BUT every Country has good things and bad things about them. When I moved to Korea, it was such a big change to what I was used to and I got used to it and learned to appreciate the good things about it. We should all be a little more positive. It only makes you seem dumber if you argue on the internet why you’re Country is better than others. Embrace life whereever you are and enjoy it.
Be happy everyone! Peace, and remember we all share the same planet and destiny.
I was being ironic. I loved visiting Canada.
Good for You Superdps!.And all the rest of you Idiots GO Fuck Yer Selves EH!!!.
Umm, people are so fucking stupid. And obviously you were being ironic haha! Great blog I loved it. PS
CANADA ROCKS!
Funny shit dude. Try Vancouver next time. It sucks here too. Surrounded by all these shitty mountains and green trees. Everyone smokes weed and nobody caries guns around. How the fuck can I protect myself from all these friendly people if I don’t have a gun? Balls.
your soooo stupid. if you could see everything that there’s in canada in your lovely computer, then you could know that there is nothing interesting here BEFORE you came.
and by the way Canada is beautiful, one of the most peacefull and lovely place in that fucking world. so stay in your crazy country with your crazy people and there crazy islam musulman ETC. you suck
are you serious? I’ve lived in Canada, Vancouver to be specific, for five years and it’s a fucking hellhole. There’s absolutely no nightlife here every fucking store closes at like 6 and there is not even a decent bar or any restaurant! The tax is crazy and the weather… it rains all year. There are hobos and drug addicts everywhere and people carry around bearmace to mace people. No entertainment whatsoever. It’s the worst place on earth.
Alex you are so Stuid and ignorant
What has Islam or Moslems to do with this Blog, you should learn and read about Islam to know how much it is great religion, actually it is the only true religion exists right now
I live in Ottawa and its a very depressing place, its not the country, but the people, they are so lifeless and fake. Very boring people live here and its too multicultural even though Im an imigrant myself. you have to work like a slave to pay for beaurocrats that take your money to spend on prostetutes. This is a horrible city and a horrible country. The poverty is very hidden and most people live off welfare, this is teh real Canada.
Your sarcasm was awesome!
There is nothing to do in here and everything is supperb expensive
canada only has ONE HYGHWAY for real
infrastructure in here is super POOR.
MONOPOLY IS VERY REAL IN HERE THE GOV CONTROL EVERYTHING.
canda has a huge racist problem any history book would tell you that
most canadian suffer from sort of mental disorded
Most canadian suffer depression is huge in here.
VERY BACKWARD COUNTRY THat is why Japanese don’t move here.
Canada is a third world country with WHITE TRASH IN IT.
AS ALIEN THIS IS PLACE NEEDS IMPROVEMENT.
I FORGOT TO MENTION LOOKING DOWN FROM SPACE I CAN SEE A HUGE I MEAN HUGE ….OMG OMG .. WOOW
CLEAR CUT is located between the province of ALBERTA AND BC.. wow is huge.
the biggest clear cut in the world.
Deforestation..
You hated Ottawa? You havent been in Montreal, have you? I never should leave my country! Canada is not what we all thought! i hate the people! they are as cold as the weather! their hearts are frozen!
When you go to a country like England or Australia you are able to comunacarte with people right? is the same fucking language!! The official language of Quebec is french! so WHY, WHYYYYY people can’t communicate with people of France? EASY! The french tht we all speak in Quebec is HORRIBLE,NASTY , stupid and NOT french at all! everybody has this accent :S i hate to go out and hear ppl speaking french! & yes my english is not perfect but i hate Canada too! i had to said what i think (:
I hate how government pretends they care!!! they dont!!
I’m from Brazil and now I’m living in Canada. When I was in Brazil, many people told me Canada was a nice country to live. So I decided to go to Canada, because in my mind, Canada was a really nice country. But when I arrived here I realized that this coutry wasn’t a big deal. Here is a mix of bullshit. This country doesn’t have identify. The whether here is very shit as well! Fortunately, I’m going back to my country soon.
I appreciate that the author was being ironic in his comments, but personally I loathe the country. Moved there 3 years ago. Hated every minute and returned home as soon as I possibly could.
(fuck canada
living in a giant freezer each 8 months of the year)
-Well actually, Canada gets very warm in most of the well populated areas (such as Toronto) every year states like Massachusetts and New York get snow before us. Actually, the winter of 2009-2010 Toronto didn’t get ONE snowfall. Not one.
(fuck all canadians because they ve all reached a very high level of stupidityfuck the cold freezing weather in canada(imagine youself)
-Actually, Canada has a considerably higher rate of literacy than Americans, and our educational system is more informative and vast. Not only do we know of all our provinces, but we know all the states too. The average Canadian is much smarter than the average American. For example, we can write and finish a fully cohesive sentence. Imagine that!
(fuck canada because people pay 50% taxes)- No we don’t. Look it up. Read a book. Educate yourself of all the benefits we recieve from paying a little more taxes than you.
(fuck canada because despite the bad weather its a very 10000 boring place where you can not do any thing for exitement(beleive me no1 most boring country in the world) – Our drinking age is 19. Our beer is way better and gets you drunk quicker. Weed is practically legal. Actually, there’s a vapour lounge on my street. And the clubs in Toronto! Have you been? You can party every weeknight. Wednsday nights are popular.
(fuck canada because where i live in montreal there is no fucking sea) -I suggest you go live in Montana, Wyoming, South Dakota, Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Tennessee, Kentucky, Indiana, Illinois etc. Lots of water there!
(fuck canada because although there are so many churches over there no body and i mean no body goes to one or prays) -To shame that most people are educated enough to know religion as a sham and thee most destructive force in human history.
(fuck all canadians because they are addicted to a very useless boring silly and meaningless game called hockey
lets pretend that hockey is a nice game fuck canada becauase it never wins) – The olympics. Who won again? Both boys and girls?
(fuck all canadians because they are pussies and even when insulting them no one dares to fight back for his dignity) -Sometimes a fight with a stupid person is a useless, time consuming fight.
(fuck canada for its fucking severe laws and rules that forbides you from living freely)-Please give me one example of how you can’t live freely in Canada. Then, give me an example of how that issue is eradicated in the United States. I mean, I could go on, but you compare Canadian life to life in Lebanon as inferior. I think you should go move to the States. They have a much higher population of people who equal your intellect. You must feel so lost! I suggest you try getting into one of those 4 Universities in your city. You might learn something.
Haha! I am loving all of these comments
…this article is a joke, people.
I love this. 100% of the people who wrote derogatory comments towards Canada had a horrible sentence structure and spelling, presented their arguments in a completely incomprehensible jumble of spite and swearing, with no actual criticism of any sort.
I am proud to say I am Canadian, educated and probably know more about most European countries AND the United States of America than most of those people know about their own.
On a side-note, I loved every word in this article, laughed my ass off while reading it! Thanks for the insight superdps
I fucking hate Canada , Hate Hate Hate, Canada can fuck himself. I am out of here and leave the great country for its white trashes.
Canada is developing nation at best – I doubt it’ll ever reach the developed world. The people are too ignorant, too hick-ish and totally clueless about the rest of the world… wow, sounds like Amurkkka, but it’s not – it’s Canada. A country that ignores democracy and pretends to support human rights. A country that oppresses its indigenous peoples and destroys the natural environment.
It’s an ok country. Not the worst on Earth. But definitely not a great or amazing place.
I lived in southern Ontario for 28 years and am very glad I left North America.
Also, to Canadiana – do some research and try not to be such a smart-ass. It did snow in Toronto the winter of 09/10, just after November and then again in February. So, open your eyes a bit and realize that people have every right to criticize and rip on this shame of a place.
This guy is a joke. Firstly, Ontario has the highest level of pollution in the world, and is also one of the most crowded places in the world. (Although this country is large, the small concentrated pockets of metro areas are packed, if you compare us per capita to other countries.) Healthcare is falling apart, there are ghettos everywhere, criminal gangs and welfare immigrants that live better than I do, huge taxes, no mountains, no oceans, nothing to do. Just a boring government city with federal jobs and welfare. Worse place I’ve ever lived. Though yeah, I’ll agree downtown is kept up nicely for the tourists.
I must agree with the people who hate Canada. I have been living in Canada for like 8 years. I don’t find anything good about living in Canada. It was because my mother thinks Canada is better than any where else. I don’t speak very well in English, but there are things I hate about Canada.
1. A boring country on the planet
2. 7/10 of the people that I had seen are rude
3. All they care about is the poor and fking bad people who should go to hell
4. You will never meet true friends like recently, my friends are ignoring me for no reason.
5. They are not letting you get rich because of the high taxes.
6. We do pay taxes for health benefit, but why would we pay for other people’s and why must they force us to donate money to the people who have low income.
7. Lots of cowards? Yes, I agreed because the students are greedy even if they don’t have money. They just waste all their money they have. They don’t know how hard it is for their parents to make money.
8. Hot girls seem to like stupid guys? Yes, I agreed with that too. Guys who have girlfriends used to show cockiness to everyone. They think they are cool when wearing brand new T-shirt and sweater. They are not, they are just stupid and lack of knowledge in real life.
9. When being bored and alone just like living in a prison.
10. Gas prices in recent years are overly high. Some national citizens can’t even afford it.
LOL Love the satire! I’m glad that you had a good time in Ottawa (that can be difficult
and I hope you come back to Canada so that you can write another post like this one! Try Toronto, Montreal, Halifax, Vancouver or Calgary, they’re all great cities! I hope that you make it out to Newfoundland, it’s beautiful out there and I’m born and bred in Ontario!
I’m sorry that people didn’t see the satire and the humour, I thought it was great!
All the best from the frozen communist hellhole north of you!
Richard
You people are fuckin retarded if you didn’t realize that this is satire. Jesus christ I’m 14 years old and even I recognized it.
Satire aside, Canada is by far one of the worst places to live in. This is based on my experience as an immigrant in Canada before leaving permanently. The whites in Canada are probably the most pathetic bunch of losers I’ve ever seen and it’s clear that the country won’t exist in the future with its disproportionately aging population with no replacement.
They trick people into coming to Canada by advertising to prospective immigrants just to take their money – each economic class immigrant, which make up of half the country’s annual intake, has to bring $10,000 with him/her – and then the Canadians get angry at them when they fail to assimilate and gainfully employ the new arrivals. Many Canadians don’t know that other countries are either catching up with them or passing ahead both socially and economically–Canadians appear content at stagnation. Their knowledge comes from TV, have been led to believe their country is best in the world, have very little knowledge beyond that, and stuck in old British mindset.
The country is 14 out of 15 in innovation ranking and still declining. Canada’s (looming) immigration disaster is a testament to its mismanagement and eventual demise. Just look at how Canadians write on this blog – condescending and clueless. They think they’re the smartest people on Earth. (lol)
I understand the horrible life immigrants lead and I advise immigrants to not care about the country that treats them like second class citizens. These Canadians are stuck in an old world and you better leave as soon possible, but first suck on their resources as much as you can and take that knowledge to help you native country become better than Canada. You’ll only appreciate life once you leave that hellhole and I know the feeling since I have left. I actually sleep better and get sun daily all year!
Milo, it sounds to me like you’re the one being condescending and clueless. I’m very knowledgeable about the world around me; I’ve travelled a fair amount, I don’t bother with TV, I own my business and am doing very well and I love my country, warts and all. Did you travel within Canada at all or did you just stay in the GTA/Vancouver/Montreal?
It sounds like you’re a bitter person by nature, I hope that you find happiness somewhere.
What country are you from? Whatever it is, I’m sure that we could pick it apart as well; no country is perfect.
It’s too bad that things didn’t work out for you here, but I wish you the best when you go home to your own country.
P.S. I love the winter! Cold and snow are so refreshing! I don’t like climates that are hot all year round, though, it gets tiresome; a change of seasons is best.
Very ironic blog haha!
Canada rocks!
If Ca-nada was a girl you most likely would run away far away as possible.. won’t even entertain the possibility.
Boring ..boring..boring
unintellectual…cruel to her friends especially immigrants
demanding… proof for everything you do or didn’t do
would suck your money with all sort of excuses to exploit your hard work and wallet.
It’s only a one way … her way! the ca-nada.. here nada.
I Live In Canada, and I love it. Honestly, it’s hilarious Barack Obama copying Canada’s health system. The few things I don’t like about Canada are our Sport teams because they are trash; Raptors, or the Toronto Maple Leafs(Holy 5hit they suck). Justin Beiber, the tip of iceberg, making Canada look so fking bad.
Also for all you people who hate Canada and are living there, get a job, and move the out of the country if you hate it so much…
@Hang Chen, Everyone can be rude, it doesn’t matter the country. I lived in Canada my whole life. Yes Canada, is a boring place and that’s probably because it is the most apathetic country in the world. “#7″ What do you mean when you say “Cowards” and “Greedy” Other than these things, I completely agree with you.
@ Michael Jackson, I just dropped by this site again. oops my mistake, that one was supposed to be #7 Lots of cowards? Yes, I agreed because I have seen some guys who are afraid of touching the Earthworms. and the comments in #7 that I said were about the retarded people.
What a great blog, Alex, you are funny dude, yes Canada has no balls. Only the passport has some relative value..
canada’s full of posers. helena, montana is way more friendly and genuinely friendly. seriously, dude. i lived in canada for almost 20 years and hated it. the people are bumpkins, closet racists, american ass-kisser wanna-bes. they have nothing original to speak of….their brand of comedy is like eating wet farts. no movies or novels or plays or anything to brag about. anything they do have is a cheap rip off of american made. all canada is, is an inferior version of america. when the us finally quits trying to make canada feel better about its shit and annexes it, then it will be on its way up
you forgot to add pompous assholes like this who think anyone gives a flying fuck about syntax and grammar on a dumb blog. he’s another shining example of lame loser canadians and typical of the smug self-satisfied pasty-faced spermless and dickless wonders who populate canada from one end to the other. go back to fucking europe you monkey-jizzed twat, because no one gives a fuck that you exist other than to remind you that you’re a scab on the asshole of existence, if even that:
I love this. 100% of the people who wrote derogatory comments towards Canada had a horrible sentence structure and spelling, presented their arguments in a completely incomprehensible jumble of spite and swearing, with no actual criticism of any sort.
I am proud to say I am Canadian, educated and probably know more about most European countries AND the United States of America than most of those people know about their own.
On a side-note, I loved every word in this article, laughed my ass off while reading it! Thanks for the insight superdps
by Kevitto November 27, 2010 at 6:17 pm
the us has produced infinitely more interesting, visionary, accomplished, driven, creative, talented individuals per capita than canada could ever hope to, way more than can be posted here. even canadians with an iota of talent move to the us and get us citizenship. man, i hate canada. you guys suck and your country is a joke. an offensive rip-off of american greatness and ingenuity.
HATE CA~ NADA.. nada to do in here
Canada creates boring societies for everyone, convicts innocent people of crime, only cares about the poor shits and bad shits, takes people’s money away from them and not letting anyone to be rich(high taxes), lacks of development and has shitty weather. I mean, yes man, Canada is a great place to live if you want to waste your life.
As a canadian, i would just like to say that you are an over-dramatic, nutless douche who is definitely an american. For those who don’t know, my definition of an american is a person or peoples, who flaunt other nations just because of the fact that they are smaller in numbers, have smaller political/military influence on the world, etc, In general, they characterize their nation as the top, the rulers. Congratulations, your nation is comparable to the one other nation that was like this, Nazi Germany. Where did Obama come up with this “Universal Healthcare Plan” shit? Is it still a mystery to you dumb- witted twats? Who aided your nation, when a hand full of terrorist devasted your nation by flying 2 air liners into a couple of towers? Want to know what i did? Nothing. I laughed. i laughed at your pitiful nation. Your politicians and military stir up soooo much shit in the world, that i said fuck it because they had it coming for them. Instead of blogging about this, i would like to see you nut up and say all things you said above to a canadian, and see what happens. Wait, your american. You don’t have the balls. We can live up hear cause we have the balls. We don’t mind the cold. So your better off staying in your smog filled shit hole. I bet 90% of these fuckin bloggers haven’t even been to Canada, their just americans pulling shit out of their asses (like their politicians) thinking they know everything about Canada and what it is like. if you hate Canada so much, why the fuck did you go? Its not like we want your smelly asses up here. The world would be a much better place without america.
This was a hysterical read!
Reading the comments now I’m shocked and confused at the people that didn’t get that this was supposed to be humour.
I’m an Aussie heading to Canada later this year and can’t wait.
Well hi there unhappy,i would say the first thing that you should of done was your homework before going to canada wich you clearly didnt do, so dont blame that on Canada and furthermore your attitude and your way of thinking and your language is the reason why Americans are not very well liked no matter where you go,unfortunately you ruin it for the rest of the good Americans out there, you think your so much better than everybody else,i think its time you took a good look at yourself in the mirror,and maybe not be so selfish and imature, and your right people with your mindset should stay in your country cause we sure dont need your stinky attitude around here anyway, do everyone a favor stay home.And by the way you think America is so great have a good look around.Grow up
I’ve lived in Toronto Ontario, Canada for 32 years and it’s terrible.
My parents came here as immigrants and they’re now collecting a pathetic pension on $20,000 combined annual income. If it wasn’t for myself and my brother they wouldn’t be able to afford their property taxes, and they would be forced to downsize and buy a condo. This is the true Canada. We are taxed to death, and at the end we get fuck all from the government. I’ve traveled a lot through Europe and the US and Europe is definetly a way better place to live. Canada is full of white trash welfares and immigrants who claim refugee status. These are the immigrants that leech of the system. The type of immigrants that come in with money and try to make a life for themselves and their family are needed. These immigrants soon learn that they’ve been had and that all the government wants from them is tax dollars. I hate this country if it wasn’t for family I’d be outta here
fuck canada.. healthcare is a joke … cigarette prices will kill you before smoking itself. 3rd world Africa is better
I equally hate Canada and the only time that I get sent here is during the winter for business. Alex G or whoever wrote this is a giant vag and is most likely from New York City… I don’t know because I didn’t waste enough of my life reading his BS. Grow a pair pal… Wah wahh! There is a reason this Hellhole is the largest amount of land with least amount of people. Beer should be free just for survival!
I sure as fuck hope your Canadian healthcare doesn’t go viral. Cross fingers US
Canada rocks!.. of ice and snow, stupid and unfriendly people, terrible place, hell on earth.
“pompous assholes like this who think anyone gives a flying fuck about syntax and grammar on a dumb blog. he’s another shining example of lame loser canadians and typical of the smug self-satisfied pasty-faced spermless and dickless wonders who populate canada from one end to the other. go back to fucking europe you monkey-jizzed twat, because no one gives a fuck that you exist other than to remind you that you’re a scab on the asshole of existence, if even that:”
Nothing describes CanaDUH better than the above statement. These people are cold, miserable and complain a lot. People are depressed and sad, and yet so delusional that they think they’re the best in the world.
I didn’t think it was possible; but Canada but sucks AND blows!
Haha, awesome dude, I loved reading this. I’m a US citizen (not of my own choosing) and was born abroad but I visited Toronto a while back and thought it was an awesome city. When I first came upon this site I was confused, expecting a legit rant about hating Canada but I quickly realized you were being sarcastic. I absolutely cannot, CANNOT, believe the sheer idiocy of half of these morons who don’t understand that you’re being facetious and who post angry, completely oblivious-to-their-own-stupidity comments. I mean, really, you don’t even have to read much before you realize that you’re joking. And using words like “pristine air” and “brazen friendliness”…aren’t those obvious and fairly simple words that should clue one in on the fact that you’re kidding and only underscoring the great points about your visit? Jesus fucking christ, people never ever fail to confirm my belief that they are absolute fucking morons.
And haha, that bit at the end: “visit your local library. Oh, it’s closed?…” that was awesome!! Yeah, I can’t believe the American government, what a nightmare. Anyway, good post!
Diana;
Very few Americans come on this board and your smug, snotty, anti-American – “I’m a US citizen (not of my own choosing)” – and holier than thou attitude suggests you’re actually Canadian.
“I absolutely cannot, CANNOT, believe the sheer idiocy of half of these morons who don’t understand that you’re being facetious and who post angry, completely oblivious-to-their-own-stupidity comments.”
“Jesus fucking christ, people never ever fail to confirm my belief that they are absolute fucking morons.” – Such anger!
Only a Canadian would imply immigrants that all so stupid and don’t understand anything – so much so that they cannot differentiate jokes from serious statements.
The rants of the commentators is that Canada SUCKS! They don’t see anything humorous about that miserable, depressing place. They have lived – or/and still do – in Canada and therefore their opinion matters more than yours since you’ve claimed to have only visited one city of the entire country “a while back”. I have lived in the depressing place and I wholeheartedly agree with that assessment.
Hey Milo, you fucking dipshit moron, I said I was born ABROAD, last time I checked Canada wasn’t far away from the USA, it’s right next to it. I was born on a different continent, look up that word I’m sure you don’t know what it is. Fuck, you’re fucking stupid. Oh, such “anger”! You damn right I’ve got anger, I’ve gotta deal with morons like you all the time. I’ve a suggestion, stop over analyzing my words and get on with your life you asshole.
OMG, I cannot believe you just accused me of being Canadian! Holy fucking shit, of all the things in my life, nobody has ever, EVER accused me of that. That one’s quite the original, jesus christ. How the hell can I be a Canadian when I’ve only visited ONE Canadian city in my entire life and clearly stated that? I was a fucking TOURIST to the country, just like the author was, and that’s what I said. Last time I checked a tourist doesn’t live in the country that they’re visiting, DUH!!! Do you even have logic in that stupid ass head of yours? You attempt to write an articulate little essay picking apart every single word of mine and yet you manage to completely fucking misunderstand every-single-thing I wrote. Congratulations fucktard, you’ve just proven to be the stupidest person to comment on this page — quite a feat!
I don’t care if you or anyone else thinks Canada sucks or if it’s a “miserable, depressing place” (which, I kinda now believe it is since it produced such ugly, pathetic, STUPID people such as yourself). Ooh, they live in Canada and their opinion matters more than mine..ooooh wow. Wait, but I thought I was a CANADIAN too?!??! Which one is it, dear stupid Milo? Am I Canadian or not? Should my opinion on the country matter or not? You just majorly contradicted yourself and shot yourself in the foot — pow! Therefore, you just rendered absolutely everything you posted to be complete drivel and therefore invalid!!
The whole point of this website is that the author is joking and all of these dipshits are COMPLETELY missing the joke. This has absolutely nothing to do with whether you like Canada, the USA or any other place for that matter. This is a humorous post on a visit to another country, that’s it, and should be treated as such. Superdps wrote all this saying how much he loved the place (in an obviously clever, satirical manner) and you Milo can’t “wholeheartedly agree” with any of the idiots’ assessments since that wasn’t the author’s point. Geddit moron? And if you hate the country so fucking much, pack up your bags and fuck off to somewhere else, you pathetic wimp. I’m not anti-American, I just never asked to move there. And for your information, even though you absolutely don’t deserve to know this, I don’t even live in the US anymore, I’ve moved abroad, somewhere completely different and new. You know how I was able to do that instead of sitting on my lame, cowardly ass, complaning about shit on the internet like you? Oh yeah, I’ve got something you’re severely lacking — balls. Balls, buddy, balls. I’ve got ‘em and you don’t, end of story.
AND the fact that I stated that I was born abroad and immigrated to America (again, not of my own choosing) would suggest that I’m somewhat of an immigrant…no? So why the hell would you think I’m calling immigrants stupid? I never once said that and I never once even THOUGHT that! I said half of the people posting angry, negative comments here attacking the author are total fucking retards because they can’t tell that the author is JOKING. He’s JOKING, like “HAHA, THAT’S FUNNY”. JOKING, get it??? So it doesn’t matter if the posters have lived in Canada and are therefore more “experienced”, the point is that he was JOKING and they completely missed it. And for those that happened to attack Canada, well they’re just as stupid because, guess what, he was STILL joking!! Oh this is just too, too, too difficult to figure out isn’t it? Oh my, this is like calculus class at Harvard or something.
And again, YOU are the fucking racist here, you asshole, NOT me. The fact that you would read racist comments into my post attacking stupidity reveals you to be a completely dickheaded CLOSET racist asshole.
Go die.
And your name is supremely stupid.
P.S.
Read the author’s “superdps” message on March 5th, 2010 to all of you idiotic ranters. He clearly tells you all to “go fuck yourselves” for completely misunderstanding his witty post. Obviously if the owner of the site and the original poster of this piece gets this frustrated at all of your dumbass comments and actually TELLS you all to go fuck ourselves…well then you fucktards are obviously doing your job of being the supreme idiots that you are –congrats! Milo, here’s lookin at you buddy!
yawn
To Milo!…. Thanks…My sentiments exactly.
You probably found this blog by googling “I hate Canada”, “canada sucks” or something like that.
I was born in Montreal and i moved to New York in my early teens.
I’ve lived in multiple cities and towns all across the States.
in the last 4 or 5 years I have lived in Montreal, Toronto, Vancouver and traveled across Canada and i must agree with almost everyone here. This country sucks royally.
if i can forfeit my Canadian citizenship i would in a heart beat.
I’M SO FUCKING MISERABLE HERE IT REALLY MIND BOGGLING. Simply-put this country sucks.
most guys here are self centered, cowards and losers with no sense of humor what so ever.
There are good aspects of Canada vs America examples, govt, health, education, crime, canadian girls etc..
however i’m speaking in general on quality of life, boredom, social life, overpriced crappy food and the likes.
P.S FUCK HOCKEY! there are other sports you know!
Bionix;
I completely understand the frustration of living in that hellhole, sad excuse for a country called Canada. It’s not youth friendly and it’s full of old people. It’s depressing and odd place. Any young person, particularly males, would leave in a heartbeat if given the chance. Try to figure out a way to leave and find a country where there is LIFE before you develop depression like the locals!
Best wishes bro!
@ Milo and Bionix, I was born in Montreal too. When I started my education I went back to my native country and then came back here. I live in Toronto now, but fuck the people almost everyone in Canada is unfriendly, which you can talk to them in a short while and then they will just ignore you after it. Don’t ever look for a true friend in here. What I think of Canada is the shitty weather everywhere. We can’t really do things for excitement and enjoyment. Whenever I come back from my native country I just feel so ignorant and can barely accept this country.
Well I’ve never been to Canada but the Canadians I’ve met here in Guangzhou, China (I’m not Chinese….Anglo-Danish) are some of the rudest people I’ve ever met and if Canada if full of people like the Canadians here then I’m marking Canada as a ‘no-go’ area. They are generally so obnoxious and I now I’ve grown careful to avoid them.
Before coming to China my idea of Canadians was generally positive….that’s long since changed for the worse!
Love the article. Canadians love to laugh at themselves and their “Canadianisms”. I am sorry that some who have posted here have had bad experiences in our country. There is good and bad in every culture. We are not all rude, racist, hicks. As for boring; it is what you make it. There is lots to do here if you choose to do it. Canada’s provinces are very diverse in culture, landscape and lifestyle. If you don’t like one, try another.
Many people immigrate to Canada each year. Many love this country and thrive. But, because we are free, we don’t force anyone to stay. I also read a comment about how we repress our indigenous native population. We are the only country in the world who fought a civil war, but still recognized and accepted the rights and cultures of both sides. Native people have the same rights as every other person in Canada, and have access to additional government resources. As for me, my ancestors immigrated to Canada in the late 18th century from the U.S., some of my ancestors are aboriginal peoples. Canada is my country, I love it, and am proud to have spent the past 20 years serving my country.
Loved the article. Too bad so many people didn’t get your satire.
That said, having been raised in Toronto, I gotta say, I find Ottawa kinda boring. It’s very umm “white bread”. Restaurants are so second rate. And expensive! Paying $50 for two people to eat decent Indian or Korean food should be a crime. I like the laid back bar/pub culture of Ottawa compared to the dressed-to-impress fakery of clubs in Toronto though.
Canada and America need to stop this pissing contest. These comments are horrible! Every country has it’s pros and cons. I am Canadian and I love living in Canada! I have visited the U.S. many times and I love it! We need to stop ripping on each other and start recognizing the good. It’s actually a lot easier than sitting in front of your computer, trying to think of a worse insult than “that Stupid American” or “that Dirty Canadian.” Get over it! Funny blog by the way.
I visited Toronto in Canada because everybody says taht is a good country, technologically developed and that is not true. I am from Europe and I went with 3 friends, the first impression taht we got it was why it was so full of immingrats and people is not nice at all and ,you get the sensation that anybody cares about you, what is happening etc. After some days beeing there we all wanted to come back home. We expected other thing, all is very very expensive and there arent nightlife. I agree that Usa is better.
I agree with most of the immigrants’ comments here. Canada is a racist place filled with small town hicks. It has no culture (beer and hockey!) and lacks national identity (we’re not Americans!).
Did anyone actually read this before posting? it was obviously satirical
Canada is th most beutiful, tolerant and cleanest place ive ever been to (am from africa). The girls and nightlyf in montreal r topnotch!!!At least the govment cares enough 2 take care of the pples wellbeing! AMERICA CAN GO TO HELL…The truth is most pple in the world actualy lyk canada more but only suk up to the US to receive aid money
You know what Alex? ( What a gay fucking name) Your a hoe bag mother fucking cunt dirty american. So I would shut the fuck up if I were you.
I’ve never read a more retarded (in the literal sense of the word) bunch of comments in my life. Did most of you not read the article? Bunch of dipshits. Just wow.
Hi All,
Guys am a new immigrant to Canada/GTA. I arrived here since three months back as skilled immigrant with MBA degree and Five years professional experience in Human Resources.
Up on what ive seen, and mainly up on others skilled immigrants bad experiences in job hunting and the laborer jobs they are doing, im becoming more convinced of leaving this country BUT im thinking of the right time to do so. Shall i leave soon especially am proud that i didnt spend too much of my saving i have brought with me since i am working as a labor in bakery plant, and the very low salary im getting is just enough to cover my life expenditures. So shall i leave soon this fake country which gave fake promises to skilled people that their qualifications are highly demanded and requested, OR shall i wait and suffer for 3-4 years to get the fucking passport and im not sure i have the patience to do so.
Imagine how many people i know who have been here for 2 years and even more and they working with me as labors, imagine the sorrow and bitterness when you are at work and u realize how you are destroying your career path as hopes and dreams (am addressing here jobs) in Canada can be accomplished at least after four or five years.
My decision is that this country doesnt worth my suffer and self destruction so its just about when to quit?
Go back, Shadali, nothing’s good here for you, you’ll be better off in your country.
Anyway, I don’t understand why people think it’s a great idea to immigrate to Canada in the 1st place, have you done your homework, people? And by that I mean a true research about jobs, people, environment and general situation before coming to an unknown place.
What’s so attractive about this country? It’s just mediocre on all levels. It’s not the US or better parts of Europe. I guess people come here only because it’s easy to get in– you fill an application and that’s basically it. But remember, finally you pay full cost for this simplicity with your crappy situation and a life falling apart. It’s *always* difficult to get fine things in life.
I saw lots of new immigrants and many of them are extremely naive in their first days in Canada. Like that girl– former head of a bank branch in Europe, MBA, degrees and all that. She came to Montreal w/o even knowing French and was overly confident and euphoric in the beginning, but as the time passed and in course of 6 months she got only one call from a bank she couldn’t even answer properly (in French) she’s on brink of depression now. And I remember she was asking if there were any banks on that job fair couple months after arriving. Yeah, like they need her– local French-speaking Canadians compete here and can’t find a good job, and they will take some immigrant fob instead with zero local experience, local understanding and crappy language.
Here’s thing to understand– don’t complain that you have qualifications and can’t get a job. Today’s Canada is an over-competitive society and simply having qualifications and experience is not enough. You have to have some social standing/history in this place, a value to yourself beyond your duties and be able to perform great in a team, socialize good and generally click with Canadians, otherwise what do you bring into a group at work except a broken language and social habits that are not in line with the rest? Why are you possibly better that people who lived here all their lives and are already well adjusted in the system. Plus for a company to hire an immigrant is a severe risk, because you don’t know what to expect from him– he may not like it and leave to India or whatever next month, and it’s losses. Yeah and everybody’s got degrees these days, not big news, but that’s just now enough.
Im bored sick of Canada coming from a small village in rural Europe doesnt say alot, but its a hell of alot better than Canada! Before I came I heard it was brilliant, this and that. I got a one year visa which I definitely wont be extending. Its no wonder why they let in all the blacks and pakis! Theres nothing to do without paying 100 bucks and wages are shit because of government taxes. Nightlife is a joke and expensive. People are no fun, they are a stereotype, living boring lifes, work, bed! Goodbye Canada you Shithole with no identity!
Minge, you probably take a black cock up the poop chute everynight, shut your dick infested lips you racist fuck, thats why canada is a better nation, they dont care what color you are, or who you pray for, you people are fuckin nutty.
fuck canada for being so ugly.
This really isn’t any of my business but I just HAVE to chime in here and express my amazement at how fucking stupid people can be. By the time I reached the article’s 2nd paragraph, it was __crystal__ clear to me that the author was writing tongue-in-cheek, a notion that is clearly confirmed when you go on to read the rest of the article. Every single day I spend on this plant convinces me more that it’s time for another biblical cleansing flood.
It’s supposed to be satirical but many people find Canada so depressing that they don’t find anything funny about it. The comments are made by people either still in Canada or have lived there at some point, merely sharing their experiences. Coincidentally, each time a Canadian posts repudiating comment it inadvertently validates the immigrants’ comments.
I think the following should inform people about Canada:
Top 8 Reasons NOT to Immigrate to Canada
8. Discriminatory and Dishonest Immigration System.
Immigration to Canada is based on a point system, obtained with your education, qualifications and job experience. Points are good enough for immigration, but in Canada, they are not good enough to get a job in your field. Amazing, how the credentials that qualify you to come to Canada are the same credentials that don’t qualify you for your profession in Canada. The reason is, Canada only wants immigrants to do the labor jobs – pizza delivery, driving taxis, factory work etc.
7. Out Of Control Cost Of Living.
From rent, to utility bills, to shopping, to phone, internet and cable bills, to gas, to car insurance, to eating out, to basically anything you have to pay for or buy, the cost of living in Canada has become astronomical. Recent immigrants are astonished as to how expensive everything is. It is estimated that compared to most countries around the world, the cost of living in Canada is on average five times greater.
6. Health Care Crisis.
Practicing physicians in Canada are in a shortage, 1 in 4 Canadians cannot get a family doctor. Canadian doctors are leaving to move permanently to the United States. Statistics Canada and the Canadian Medical Association both have identified that for every 1 American doctor that moves to Canada, 19 (nineteen) Canadian doctors move to the United States! Doctors in Canada are overworked and underpaid, and there is a cap on their salaries.
5. Very High Taxes.
Yes, you have the GST, the PST, totaling 15%, on practically everything you purchase and many other taxes taken out of our weekly paycheck. You have to pay a whopping amount to the government, out of your hard earned salary, so that the government can turn around and give it to beer drinking, hockey watching welfare bums. Fair? It does not matter, it’s Canada.
4. Money Hungry Government.
Canadian Embassies around the world lie to foreigners, painting this picture that Canada is Utopia, because they want them to come to Canada. Why? Because foreigners bring money! So after being deceived, these foreigners come. They must bring with them at least $10,000. Canada has an immigration quota of 250,000 per year. So please do the math, 250,000 multiplied by $10,000 each equals a whopping 2.5 Billion dollars that Canada gains from immigrants every year.
3. No Culture.
Unlike almost every other country in the world, Canada has no culture. Actually American culture is what dominates Canada. When was the last time you had some ‘Canadian’ food? There are no Canadian traditions and there is no national identity. What does it even mean to call yourself a ‘Canadian’. . .nothing really. People living in Canada, still identify themselves with the country they ‘originally’ came from.
2. Worst Weather.
Yes, Canada has the worst weather conditions of any country in the world. Freezing cold temperatures, snow, ice, hail, winds, storms etc. From the Prairie provinces to the Maritimes, from the Territories to southern Ontario, the weather is so horrific and disgusting that many Canadians leave Canada simply because of this reason alone.
1. No Jobs.
Yes, coast to coast, there are no jobs. Immigrants are highly qualified (MD’s, PhD’s, Lawyers, Engineers etc.) but they are driving taxi cabs, delivering pizza’s or working in factories. Even people with bachelors degrees from Canadian Universities cannot find jobs after graduation. This is the tragedy associated with immigration to Canada. I feel sorry for those immigrants who are stuck in Canada for the rest of their lives. It is indeed a very sad and hopeless future.
I must commend Mohamed for his post on July 3rd 2011.
How succinct and eloquently written. Well done sir.
I strongly agreed with your reasons Mohammed. I was born in Canada, but I neither like nor dislike Canada. However, these are the things I can’t accept and stand.
1. Ignorants all over the country
You won’t find real friends in Canada unless you immigrate with your friends from your own country. FRIENDS YOU HAVE IN CANADA ARE NOT FRIENDS!!!!! Only the time can make you friends. No matter what friends you make, you will eventually be apart from the group. This is what the seriousity of most friendships are with in Canada.
2. How can the gas prices be higher than they can afford?
In may 2011, the average gas price in Toronto hit $1.41 per litre. Civilians were just shocked and whined about it. Canada is oil-rich, but what makes the gas price rapidly go up? Its all the greedy gasoline company owners. THEY ARE TORTURING US, IDIOT!!!! Too bad, the government don’t even give a shit at it.
3. Boredom
Other than doing few fun things for excitement a year, let’s say we do one fun activity a day and we have ten days to have fun. what else can we do on the rest of the 355 days? If you are okay then you can do the same activity over and over again. Is that the real Canadians’ life style?
4. Unpleasant weathers
Weather is mad cold so we can go outside to play, so it bores us even more. The weather in Canada during summer is not summer. Its spring and autumn and winter. Despite there is warm weather in Southern Ontario, but too bad, there is only few days of summer and the rest is autumn and winter.
*5. Watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o16XUslLZFs
I don’t know for you, but I realized this article was sarcastic! Only dumb Americans can’t figure this out! Not all Americans are fucking obese retarded lazy sons of fat self-centred whores, but most are. I’m a French Canadian by the way, from Quebec, and I’m perfectly bilingual. When you say we don’t talk the “real French language” you sound retarded cause not just because we don’t have the French accent, from France, that what we speak isn’t French. If this would be so, then it would mean that what you speak isn’t real English, since you don’t have the same accent that they have in England, your “mother country” (like France for Quebec) Americans are too occupied destroying cultures, killing women and children and exploiting natural resources in other countries, through war, which they seem to declare for no valuable reason. So many Americans are obese, suffering from diabetes and lots of other diseases, that I can understand why you have no health care (and no reasonable minimum wage); you would all be so expensinve to the government that thet wouldn’t be able to finance wars. You criticise Canadians for not praying, but we’re open minded to other things and we are able to live our lives without always being told what to do, what Americans can’t seem to be able to do. So what, you pray to God? You keep getting into wars, being self-centred, selfish and thinking you’re superior to the rest of the world. God SAVE America.
Christ, so many comments on this article, I stopped reading most of them. If you haven’t realized by now. I’m a Canada fan. I had a great time there. Maybe I’ll move there once this country becomes such a shit-hole that I stop relating to anyone.
The only problem is that all you fucking Canadians dig deep into this article without realizing the satire and the call Americans stupid.
Listen, fuck-heads, I’m an American, and I’m smart enough to understand irony, so fuck off back to the great white north where you can adopt all the “cool” american styles and fads that were out of date here 10 years ago.
Canada is awesome; but you fuckers make it seem even more dumb than America somehow. Good job. Keep it up.
Man, great article. I live in Canada and was very pleased for reading this. I am thrilled that you [enjoyed] your stay in Canada, and I found this a very interesting way to express your thoughts.
I grew up in the US, but always had duel citizenship. I have recently spent quite a bit of time in Canada..mostly, BC, NS and Ontario. I have had to deal with the Institutions, Healthcare ,legal and anything related to the elderly due my Mother who is here in a Nursing Home.
I have never encountered such incompetence and snobs. The place is very expensive..consumers are ripped off like crazy. The cost of groceries and gas is unbelievable. The only thing that seems to work here is the public transportation system. The Health care is free yes..but try finding a family doctor.
It is very depressing to see the immigrant population..they are thrown into farm lands with housing developments that have about a foot between each house. Environmentally Canada is very bad. Nova Scotia has almost every tree cut, due to clear cutting.
Canada does not get my vote…and will never get my taxes. I’ll take all the political mess in the US over this place any day.
lol at people who are getting upset about this.
Props to the author, carries SARCASM with such prestige.
- 80% of jobs in canadian market are hidden jobs. You need to network and connect with others in a coffee shop or others, perhaps you are lucky to meet someone there who might help you to uncover these jobs. hehehe, it is a real corruption
- A Master degree immigrant has to keep on begging and kissing hands to get a cashier or sales job at Zellers or Wallmarts, hehehe, what a future at this shit country . they are cheaters
- I landed to Canada and stayed there last eight months without getting even a good survival job, so i left this fake country for good to Gulf (Qatar) and let Canada and its passport go to hell, i made a mistake and paid thousands of dollars for an unworthy country but now i have corrected my wrong and fatal decision by leaving there
canada sucks balls….kill ‘em all!!
someone should make I HATE CANADA blog
you people are so ignorant .
canada sucks and this blog sucks
it obviously is written by a stupid canadian who hasn’t traveled much and pretends that the country is not a shit hole filled with the rudest and ugliest people on earth
I told my psychiatrist how I’ve been miserable and got multiple mental disorders since coming to Canada. Guess what she said, “Go back to your home country.” No wonder I have mental disorders. How about she go back to Europe instead of pushing the Natives to the margins?
I WILL get out of this hellhole someday, but not because of my retarded psychiatrist
Well, to all of your sorry excuse of human beings(that’s right, I’m talking to the Canadians), your should maybe talk to an immigrant in your sorry ass excuse of a country and see how things really are. I moved here a little over a year ago from the United States and I can regretfully say that I had high hopes for this place. I came during the summer and what do you, nothing to do in this shithole except drink over priced swill at Tim Horton’s that your cretins call coffee. I turn on the tv and all I see is great American television shows. What do you assholes have? That’s right, all you have is Degrassi and Rookie Blue which are both greatly funded by American broadcasting corporations. I went to school in September (dumbass gaynadians, schools start in august!) and it was literally overrun with disgusting third world immigrants. Jamaicans infest the hallways smoking weed in front the principal and she didn’t give a shit, disgusting Sri Lankans spreading their diseases and odors everywhere because they’re too damn broke to pay for showers or laundry. The plumbing in the school constantly broke and the hallways would fill with toilet discharge, the soccer field was full of blunts and broken beer bottles, my fucking ENGLISH teacher could not even speak ENGLISH! God this place is terrible. The grading scale here is a joke, a 80-100 is an A, wtf?! An 80 is just about an\y other country is a C or lower. And worst of all, maybe 10% of my school can even speak English. On top of all of this, the weather is horrible. it snowed for nine months so I couldn’t leave the house at all, I had to shovel tons of snow every morning just so my parents could drive me to school. They don’t even have school buses here for highschoolers, I had to take the stupid public transportation with a smorgasbord of psychos, bums, and third world people who haven’t showered in years. Worst of all is how expensive it is here, I’m only 15 and this shitty ass place has me worried and looking at prices and sales every time I want to buy something, i feel like a senior couponing my ass off in the checkout counter just to get school supplies. My parents can’t get jobs and that is just total BS. My dad got his PhD in mechanical engineering at North Carolina State University, which is one of the best engineering schools in the world, and he has to basically redo all his work just to get licensed as a “Canadian” engineer. My mom was a bank manager for 12 years and now she’s a cashier so she can gain what these dumbasses call “Canadain Experience” what the hell is that? Gas cost $5 a fucking gallon, homeless people are in abundance, and the immigrants here are just lazy Pakis, Afghans, Sri Lankans, and Jamaicans living off of welfare that hardworking people pay taxes for. So to all of Canada I give a big FUCK YOU. I hope a viral disease one day breaks in this country and kills every one of your fuckers painfully and mercilessly. The rest of the world needs to know, CANADA IS A HORRIBLE PLACE.
that was acctually really funny! XD
Wow!!! It’s a satirical article but only American dimwits have trouble understanding that. No wonder no one can stand American people around the world! You’re just a bunch of happy imbeciles with single digits IQ!
fuck america….canadas the shit nuff said
I know this probably sounds horrible since I live in Canada but I would rather live back home in Lebanon a war, poverty, and shitty ass government stricken country then live in Canada I hate this hell hole uhhh
people here have no life
all they do is work
they have the illusion of having money what they don’t realize is that they are all in dept because the country is in dept to the extent we pay for the air we breath and pay extra when we FART
FML someone just shout me
I love this article and thank you for pointing out that its annoying when something is so disgustingly perfect uhh
Hi, FML
As per the comparison, I think that living in Lebanon would be better than living in Canada. The war has since subsided and there’s probably just as much poverty in Lebanon as there is in Canada, it’s just that poverty is hidden in the facade called Canada where people struggle with astronomical cost of living along with cold and reserved people, many of whom suffer mental problems.
There’s no life in Canada and your years waste away along with your youth. It’s the reason why Canada is full of old miserable people that suffer depression and other mental problems (eventually you’ll become just like them). Canada is a decaying country, it’s becoming unlivable for an ever increasing number of people; the reason behind all the immigrant comments from above.
You would be better off living in a youth-friendly and vibrant country like Lebanon with no misandry like socially-dead Canada. Once you leave Canada you’ll thank your lucky stars everyday and regret that you haven’t left earlier. You’ll also discover that living in Canada might have potentially changed your personality after you get to know people that are receptive and friendly/warm. Basically, you’ll learn all over again not to be so cold and judgmental.
to “the american (August 9, 2011 at 1:32 pm)” hahaha i live in canada and am a high schooler and i have a school bus, we get in trouble if we SMELL like weed and it snows for 3 months and you’re a drama queen cunt xD
OMG….thxs, i really hate canada and start to hate ignorant Canadians….they are the dams people on the planet. they don’t know where they came from and no clue where they stand or go. they just keep repeating the mistakes over and over ……hey white people ur grandfather was a thief and u r still a thief…..and still always blame others. i really hate this country so much
You can take your self and all your foreign trash family and friends right out of Canada, We would be happier to know your not here.
Our country due to our government and the greed of foreign trash like you our economy is in hell. Canadian’s born here can’t get jobs and at the same time foreign criminals like your self come here and steal them, Live off our welfare system and do nothing useful your whole lives, Our streets stink of your rancid foreign food, Our stores filled with your dirty bodies, Hell I can not even go outside any more with out seeing at least 20 foreigners I’d love to spill the blood of… GO THE FUCK BACK HOME and take all your kind with you.
We now have to suffer because thanks to your kind we are having everything taken from us so a race like yours can survive… Only to die out in failure later because with out us you are nothing more then mindless fish.
You are simply the trash of the world being shipped from one place to another… Time to shoot you into the sun
How do people not understand that this is a satire?!
Well written.
Holy fuck people are retarded. First of all this is blatent satire and if you couldn’t figure that out you are a moron. Second, (I live in Canada, a small town with 75,000 people) Canada is deffinately not as bad as people are making it out to be. It is also not the best country in the world and no other tops it. Saying that would be ridiculous. Why don’t you get off you’re lazy ass and leave if you hate it that bad. I can only think of two reasons why not. One, you’re 12 years old and mommy doesn’t want to leave, or two, you’re a lazy fuck who can’t help but live in his own bigoted hypocrisy. Really all I see here is dumb stereotypes. How the hell do you think that you have the mental capacities to understand the pros and cons of a nation when half of you don’t even have the mental capacities to write a coherent sentence. And you know what. All of the ignorant people that you claim to know from Canada are pathetic losers like you. I’ll say it again! I don’t think Canada is hot shit. Regardless, look at the dollar, our dollar is higher than the American dollar, I wonder how that could happen if we live in an apparent shithole. I also don’t appreciate all of you spewing out you’re right wing propaganda bullshit either. Since when was it wrong to help the needy. You apparently like giving your money to rich people, you dumb asses. You guys are the ones who have an illegal immigration problem, you guys are the ones who have triple the homocide rate, your economy is in shambles, people are in hospital bill dept, there is a greater differentiation between the rich and the poor, and you carry around guns like you’re proud of it. And don’t feed me your bullshit about Canada being an incoherant pussy in times of war. Have you forgotten Vimy Ridge? Somme? Paschendale? Canada’s Hundred Day’s? If I’m correct you were the one’s who pussied out of WW1 and WW2 untill the near end of both. Your accomplishments include killing yourselves in the Civil War, not minding your own fucking bullshit buisness in the Cold War, and what else? Oh yeah, jackshit! People, grow a brain. Canada’s not perfect, but no country is, and certainly not the United States of America.
Wow, people show their true colours over their keyboards dont they? Im canadian, and all this people talking shit about canadians defiantly should never come back to canada. We dont really want people like you who are so negative and backwards. Compared to the rest of the world, canada is one of the best. Go back to your shit holes fuckers.
And yes the article is meant for laughs, but the people who later made this a “I hate canada” thread need to start doing something relevant and not look like idiots. I have been to the U.S. several times and always got along with the americans. I talked with one couple who thought I was from the u.s. and was surprised I was canadian. We arent that much different.
Also, many of my friends are newer canadians and they know they are better off in canada, than where they were living before. Its only a small percentage oif losers who cant accomplish shit in our great country and therefore have to spew hatred. Its funny, some of talk about how horrible canadians are, but its more than likely that you are the real peices of garbage. End of story.
Great blog, Superdps. Come back in May/June when we usually have better weather! LOL.
Loved it truly. Sure seemed to piss off a lot of folks that apparently love to hate Canada. I guess they did get that you actually like it and they seem to have a problem with that. Right up there with eating Bambi. You should check out Vancouver Island. Victoria is pretty colonial but the cool thing is the climate. Most of Canada doesn’t even know how temperate it is.
canada is so gay. not that there is anything wrong with that.
lolol. pretty sure this article’s supposed to be ironic. nicely done commenters
I got a chuckle out of the article. I have lived in Canada for most of my life except two years when I taught and was an aid worker in West Africa. I really appreciated my home country after seeing incredible poverty while overseas, getting malaria ect. As for the immigration issue some Canadians are confused. Many people want to live here and compared with many countries in the world we have tried to Keep the welcome mât there but it is à two way street. My Irish ancestors helped to clear the land in this country so there is a history, an investment there. Work hard and play hard.
I got a chuckle out of the article. I have lived in Canada for most of my life except two years when I taught and was an aid worker in West Africa. I really appreciated my home country after seeing incredible poverty while overseas, getting malaria ect. As for the immigration issue some Canadians are confused. Many people want to live here and compared with many countries in the world we have tried to Keep the welcome mât there but it is à two way street. My Irish ancestors helped to clear the land in this country so there is a history, an investment there. Work hard and play hard.
I agree with Tralee. Well Said.
loooll…..Americans are fucking stupid and retorted fucks clearly have the intellectual ability oo 7 year olds, fucking idiotic fucks, statistics prove they can’t fucking read cause theyre fucking dumb fucking retorted fucks with dicks in there head. Fucking Americans, dumb fucks.
well said John..Stupid Fucking Americans Lol
You are certainly welcome not to go back. And cigarettes cause lung cancer. Enjoy the smog south of the border.
that was fun reading , come back when you want XD
I’m born Canadian fro Caribbean parents. i use to love Canada as a child, but now I can’t frikken stand this place. Everything you do the stupid government will do everything to keep you down. It so hard just to get a regular job as so many immigrants here are working under the table for less than minimum wage with no benefits from an temp agency. College/uni tuition/housing/rent/food/electronics/cars/insurance is grossly over priced. I want to leave so badly but I’m waiting for this US crisis the boil down. Canada with your slave wage bondage lifestyle of living can go to hell. I hate you Canada!
Hilarious blog, loved it.
To all the recent immigrants, I’m sorry you had such an awful time here. We do the best we can to build a nation for everyone.
To all the Americans, my apologies for all the rude comments posted here.
To all the Canadians, my apologies for all the rude comments posted here.
To the rest of Internet audience, we try our best to build a decent country just as you do. We all have different cultures and policies but our goal is to build a home for ourselves.
I wish you all peace.
I Came in QC at age 10, my sister 7, parents 38.
I mention I am ‘’white’’, just so you know I am not a minority that has tons of problems integrating an occidental country just because of his skin. Only I’m not the best at writing in english.
I had good education from my parents, and went in one of the top 5 Montreal private school, had big grades and was accepted in Engineering in Concordia at age 17. But…‘’any young person, particularly males, would leave CDN in a heartbeat if given the chance’’. That’s what I did.
I decided to go to my home country.There I had my master’s degree and started my carreer, getting 40K a year plus benefits and real life. But then I missed my family and decided to go back a year ago.
My father is courageous . His back bone is crushed in pieces and all he received from this ‘’civilised country’’ is tylenol. As so many others he did not find a real job, so he started a flying business and gave jobs to people instead.
He flew to middle-east a week ago to get a decent job, at age 58, far from his loving wife! I hope he will find peace.
My mother is a saint, she works in a hospital and did not make one single friend in 20 years.
My sister is 27, does not have a single friend as well, and has become over the years a quebecer (thank god without the accent) in some aspects : she is humiliating men without even knowing it, has no emotional intelligence whatsoever, and is more violent than a regular man. I’m spending hours of my time so she would stop defecating on her home country.
These last days I watched violent spots on the net, and I googled « I hate Canada ».
The first link I saw was this blog. From the very first minute I understood it was satirical, and actually very funny.
We all have a « first impression » when we visit a foreign country, only we’re not as good as superdps to make funny posts. This guy sould go on stage!
Anyway, lots of people reacted . Certainly because, just like me, they wanted a relief.
I want to thank them all because I needed it. And now I’d like to make a little participation myself, by summarizing their interesting thoughts. I hope new comers will think twice before exposing themselves to the dangers of CDN, or at least have a strategy to fight back, and have a life.
——————————————————————————-
CDN CULTURE
Blank. CDN has no culture whatsoever.
nothing original to speak of….. no movies or novels or plays or anything to brag about.
SUFFERING AT WORK
Imagine the sorrow and bitterness when you are at work and u realize how you are destroying your career path.
CANADIAN IDENTIDITY
wannabe country
Canadians are the dams people on the planet.
They don’t know where they came from and no clue where they stand.
QUEBEC IDENTIDITY
You will hate to go out and hear people speaking so-called ‘’ french’’
Le Québec est réprouvé des dieux, c’est le territoire le plus mercantile, drogué, pute, infertile, suicidaire et xénophobe qui soit dans le monde occidental.
BECOMING A « CANADIAN »? LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!
What does it even mean to call yourself a ‘Canadian’. . .nothing really. People living in Canada, still identify themselves with the country they ‘‘originally’’ came from.
MENTAL HEALTH
Beer should be free just for survival!
Many canadians suffer depression and mental problems. Official proof lies here : http://www.cmha.ca/bins/content_page.asp?cid=6-20-23-43
FRIENDS
You won’t find real friend in Canada. Please immigrate with your friends from your own country.
LIFE IN CDN
If Ca-nada was a girl you most likely would run away far away as possible. Boring ..boring..boring, unintellectual, cruel to her friends, demanding.
Boredom : being bored and alone is just like living in a prison.
Bad quality of life
no social life at all
overpriced crappy food
hobos and drug addicts everywhere.
LOCALS
There is a reason this Hellhole is the largest amount of land with least amount of people.
canada’s full of posers. People are bumpkins, racists, wanna-bes.
smug self-satisfied pasty-faced spermless and dickless wonders who populate canada from one end to the other
stupid and unfriendly people, terrible place, hell on earth.
These people are cold and miserable, they complain a lot. People are depressed and sad, and yet so delusional that they think they’re the best in the world. I didn’t think it was possible.
Nobody goes to church or prays.
No one dares to fight back for his dignity.
All the hot girls seem to like stupid guys and money.
Nobody has any idea about the shitty life that they’re living( i advise them to live a couple of years in any other country and see the real beauty of life).
incompetence
snobs ,condescending and clueless. They think they’re the smartest people on Earth. Looool!!
self centered, cowards and losers
Simply put, nobody cares about you. I’ ve grown careful to avoid them.
Depression is huge in here. It’s not the country, but the people, they are so lifeless and fake.
EVOLUTION OF AN IMMIGRANT
Eventually you’ll become just like locals. You will develop depression just like them! No need to say more.
LEAVE CANADA FOR THE BEST
These Canadians are stuck in an old world and you better leave as soon possible, but first suck on their resources as much as you can. You’ll only appreciate life once you leave that hellhole.
This country is not worth your suffer and self destruction , so it’s just about when to quit.
Find a country where there is LIFE.
Once you leave Canada you’ll thank your lucky stars everyday and regret that you haven’t left earlier.
STILL DON’T WANT OR CANNOT LEAVE THIS PLACE ? DON’T SUICIDE! THERE MIGHT BE HOPE IN CDN…
One or two canadian guys in this blog posted some interesting and illuminating points about their typical irrational and xenophobic fears, if you don’t know them by heart already.
Practice at home your cameleon strenghs. Practice a lot. Say to employers that « you perform great in a team, socialize good and click with canadians/quebecers », that « you are in line with the rest », that « you are already well adjusted in the system », that « you don’t want to leave next month » and blablabla.
But this is difficult and you might not want to crush the little bird in your hand. So please keep the hope that « Canada’s provinces are very diverse in culture, landscape and lifestyle : if you don’t like one, try another ». I might follow this recommandation for myself. Also, I recommend that you create your company in your field of competence asap. After all, this is America.
Its hilarious how people go to great lengths to show that their own fucked up opinion is some how facts. No way are things that bad in canada. I have travelled to many places and its always a relieve to come back to canada. Everything said above about canada this and that, is coming from ppl who either dont get outside enough and/or are also ppl who more than likely hate everything else and live a miserable life. Seriously, if you hate canada go visit the world for an extended amount of time, and see how average ppl live their. EVERY country has its problem and Canadas problems are nowhere close to as bad as some of the problems most countries face.
U say it’s a relief to TRAVEL and come BACK to canada?
Well, then it’s either because (1) u don’t live here most of your time , or because (2) u were born here, or because (3) u compare CDN to countries that face real big problems like poverty, or because (4) u go out a lot to places with sea and sun.
If 4, then u got out to get a relief from cdn, not the contrary.
If 3, well, your argument is just not sufficient and far too general. Compare CDN with occidental countries u supposably went too for an extensive period of time.
If 2, then it’s normal to defend your country since it’s your reference, since your family might live here , and since you’re a canadian , what more can I say?
If 1, then it’s normal too. Everyone likes to be a tourist in CDN. I like it myself to play hockey outside, go skiing, going on the country side … nature is beautiful.
But what about the important stuff ? The people ! U say that people who complain about that are living a miserable life? That’s right!
It’s stupidity, artificialness, apartheid and segragation everywhere, How could people feel ok? Drugs? Travelling to Florida? Oh yeah that’s what most people do here…
Fair point Bob. However, I do spend alot of time in Canada as a Canadian, and everyone is making claims that ppl in general here are just really sad depressed losers with no identity as a country. I beg to differ. Real Canadians are open minded, Tolerant ppl, who take in pride in what they do.We have good education systems and believe it or not our health care is still top notch unlike the propagandists want you to believe. Canada has a good reputation around the world for its support in strengthining developing countries and is a great role model for other first world countries. I stand by that, and if doubters want to believe otherwise, than
thats too bad. I am serious in that other ppl commenting do some research first and not jump to conclusions about a country in general. Their are great places to live in Canada and of course places that defiantly need improvement.
Of course I am talking in broad strokes, because honestly that speaks to a greater audience than some idiots who googled I hate Canada. I’ll say it again ppl who Really hate Canada, more than likely hate many other things as well, and this is one of the ways they vent their anger.
countries. I do my research, and I have been to other countries that are considered t
and if some haters want to believe that we are that bad should do some real research. If they still have a problem they should GTFO if they want to whine, because if their
The last paragraph got screwed up somehow. My bad. LMAO
So I I googled ‘I hate cdn’? Ouch, I’m a hater, it’s big, i have a very rare pathology and should take meds.
Dude, as I said on my first message, I was feeling bad this day, because I realised my sister has become over the years a quebecer.
This particular day, I needed something like booze, or violence. But I’m no teenager. I gladly chose to write down my story instead. This was the first time I had ever written on any public plateform in my life.
I will not do it again since it’s a boredom to answer back, and back.1, 2,3 messages, I’ll write this page and then I’m done.
U know how quebecers are and u don’t want your sis to become one of them. Have u seen how they are untruthful and how many complexes they have? Friendship simply does not exist in their mind, not the way the rest of the world sees it. And have u seen the scientific data on this official canadian link ? http://www.cmha.ca/bins/content_page.asp?cid=6-20-23-43
I won’t even bother talking about your comments concerning cdn job environment, health system, education. Seriously? I mean seriously? Spending 2 hours doing my research and getting references just to knock u down on these subjects?
On these precise subjects? Man, do your own work. Or just lay back on your sofa, you’ll keep your « reputation ».
Listen, my issue is not to negligate the good points in Canada, or to reject every detailed aspect of Canada as a whole. The subject is cdn people. In your own experience you said you heard everyone telling the same stuff. Well, when you hear everyone talking shit about cdn people, does it mean everyone has a bad perception? It just means everyone is right. It means they all found the same truth. Thousands of people. Take a long walk, ask people their stories, look in their eyes, see if they’re fake. Get proofs.
When you talk « Tolerance » about cdn ppl, everybody sees « ppl letting others the right to live within their community ».
The old Brits system that made so many social and mental disasters throughout history in the whole wide world. Great, really.
In canada, calling into question is just not suitable : in ppl’s mind it means « whining », or « being narrow-minded », or « not having pride », all is left for them is, as you said, to « GTFO ». This is so commun. Aren’t u better than this « love it or leave it » xenophobic and universal mechanism? 100% of people that came to cdn wanted to integrate themselves, we’re all human beings.
But would u cdn people accept them? Work on yourself as a country.
Or answer back. Again. I won’t. Truth could be put on walls and magazines, cdn people would just not read it, they like it better to smoke instead. But it’s ok, it’s life and I like humanity. Only if canada would try more to be…le plus meilleur pays au monde! Cheers.
Bob, you are not making any sense, and your not fooling anyone when you are trying to make “your points”. You obviously are not living in Canada. Especially when you say ” you canadians”. Your comments are hilarious to say the least. Your basically a person looking in, not looking out. The only part that I agree with….is that you should not post again. Have a great day.
I say” u cdns”, because having the papers for so long (being 30 now, got them at 13) does not make me a cdn,of course, thank god.
Have u read my lines? My words and perception are clear.
So I defend my points? what’s the problem with that man?
Concentrate on facts instead of defending social relations
that are in ruins in this country. Ask parents, grand pas, friends, go out, open eyes, and have a nice day yourself.
Bob… so what country would you rather live in? U.S. , france, australia. You think its better there? Every first world country has its similar problems. That link you provided about mental illness with Canada… doesnt mean shit. Every country has similar problems to that. Imagine the mental illness problems with people affected by the euro crisis, and financial problems in the u.s. right now. Thats why their building a pipeline from alberta to texas to generate 20,000 jobs to people in the u.s. and get people back on their feet. Im not saying its an utopia in canada or something crazy like that. But i find your points to be blown up. If you lived in quebec then no wonder you have that perception. Quebec is a seperatist province that wants to be unique. I know your going to say” well they want to seperate because canada sucks”. Too different cultures, unfortunately they cant see eye to eye on things. Anyways, im done discussing this. Im going about my own opinion, and you can go about yours. Peace for the world my friend! That is all.
I actually like Canada but not some people by that I mean 3%
the government does a lot for its people unlike other countries and I am grateful to them but there are some 3% of people which will cause problems here ungrateful selfish ass
White Canadians are like the Freemasons. They have their own secret culture, language, rules of conduct and ways of identifying one another. If you are a visible minority or an immigrant, you will never be invited into their club. They will be politely reserved to you but will not accept you nor your ” Non Canadian” education, or qualifications. They will not become close friends with you and will barely tolerate you. They live in gentrified white enclaves and do not want you to move next door to them or your children playing with theirs. They will ensure their own kind is promoted and that you are left in dead end jobs. They have a betting game where they name immigrants they know who either gave up and went back home or have been passed up for promotion or lost out on a job. The person who can name the most is considered the winner. For all the lip service about multiculturalism your are not wanted.
you guys are pretty fucking opinionated, so tone it the fuck down for a second. yes, a large amount of Canadian’s are oblivious to what the government does and we pollute and shit as much as anyone else (i don’t even fuckin recycle). who ever thinks canada has fee health care is a stupid fuck you pay for your health care and everyone else’s everytime u get a fucking chocolate bar from the store, or buy some shit tickets for your ass. but this is a kick ass place and if u don’t think the people in canada are just looking for a good time then u never came to this unique part of earth we call Canada. and yes the freemasons and illuminati, golden dawn whatever the fuck u wanna call the greedy pricks they influence Canadian society very much (ie. prejudice, eugenics, greed and insatiable pride) but guess what they influence any society that has currency, oh wait doesn’t that mean… everywere? if u don’t i agree look into who the Rothschild’s are and what they did to make a few bucks in the last 150 years. I personally think anywere on the planet is a good place as long as you are with people who carry the good traits of the human race not the assholes. i was always tolled
there are 3 types or people in the world, dicks, assholes and pussy’s. but thats not true there are also the people who don’t live their lives based on their insecurities and i call them the “men”.
Wow. People on here are not educated. SuperDude, first of all, you went to Ottawa. Who the fuck goes there? I’ve lived in Canada all my life, and I have never been to Ottawa maybe except once when I was a kid.
Well, I agree it is boring, and I would move in a heartbeat. Maybe some place like Holland. But definitely not the States!!! I haven’t been there in nearly 2 decade, and have no plans of visiting anytime soon, though I should cause everything is just so dirt cheap with how valuable our money is here. Also, who wants to live in the States anyways, you have 300 million people there. Talk about cramped!!! We have 30 million, so that clean air is actually the minus the 300 million American wastes of skin expelling Carbon Dioxide.
Of course, your an American, so you’d have no idea what I’m talking about.
Oh, and also, to the rest of the bloggers….we pay 15% tax, not 50. If you pronounced words properly you’d be able to tell the difference.
English-Canadian people are fuckin’ shit. They’re totally in a world of junk food video games and entertainment and getting stoned. I’m European and want to suck out as much as I can from these stupid White Liberals who go around adopting African babies to show off like little pets in front of all their little White English Canadian friends. A degenerate and pathetic lot indeed. FUCK EM!!!!!
One of the best comments I’ve read so far about Canada;
Jesus
December 7, 2011 at 10:55 pm
“White Canadians are like the Freemasons. They have their own secret culture, language, rules of conduct and ways of identifying one another. If you are a visible minority or an immigrant, you will never be invited into their club. They will be politely reserved to you but will not accept you nor your ” Non Canadian” education, or qualifications. They will not become close friends with you and will barely tolerate you. They live in gentrified white enclaves and do not want you to move next door to them or your children playing with theirs. They will ensure their own kind is promoted and that you are left in dead end jobs. They have a betting game where they name immigrants they know who either gave up and went back home or have been passed up for promotion or lost out on a job. The person who can name the most is considered the winner. For all the lip service about multiculturalism your are not wanted.”
Canada is boring as fuck
The people are stupid.
The average person is an ignorant lumber mill worker or a safeway cashier.
There is no fucking industry, the country just digs and squeezes oil out of the ground, and the rest live on welfare.
There is nothing made in canada, every company other than the grocery retailers have gone bust after a few years because these clowns have no backbone
The education SUCKS! The average 5 year old in England is smarter than a 12 year old Canadian!
There are 3 fucking cities – the rest are villages
And in between – there is a shit load of the same big rock, flat land and snow.
America – put the fuckers out of their misery and invade them all
So this is what some people in the world thinks about us?
Unlike some posters in here, I am grateful for Canada. My parents are immigrants who came to Canada for a better life. This country has given my family a lot of good things. Of course, it wasn’t easy but the positive attributes of this country far outweighs the bad. Thus, I am proud to call myself Canadian.
Are you outta your mind?
When I went to Montreal.. every single person smoked and me being from Ca wanted a gas mask. Mother, daughter smoking.. every single person on the street smoking. The people were hostile rude.. you hear me… hostile rude.. They are French.. what do you expect.. Not a single person was nice.. everybody had a sense of entitlement and the women were all stuck up. And you had black dudes trying to sound gangster in french.. and acting uppiddy…
I’m not sure where you went.. doesn’t sound like the Canada I went to.
How releived I am to read these comments!! I blindly went to Canada from Spain, after meeting a Canadian man (whom I had met many times before moving.) I knew the day I arrived at Toronto airport, that I had made a mistake, and that feeling stayed with me and grew over the next 2 months, so much so that i had to leave the man I loved. I felt that I was losing my soul and identity. I felt that there were no real people, only façads. I hated my entire time in Canada and will NEVER go back. Zero culture, Zero food, Zero soul. Fortunately, the man I feel in love with came to live with me in my country, Spain, and he says he has never been happier in his life!. Canada never again
Well,,ive been living in canada for 50 years. I have done all i can do to like his place ,but its just not working for me.i have been working hard,andpaying taxes from the age of 15,,when i got my first job building swimming pools..i am not one to whine about things,,so im just currently looking around for a new place to live,,and work..our politicians are the most lax bunch of assholes you could find,,,not to mention the quebec bullshit. I just feel trapped here,in this shithole,,,feeling very ripped off,,by a government who gives me absolutely no return on my hard earned money,,,but of course there are penalties for everything,,,,just like those stupid fukin hockey games..Its time to join together,and get some new blood in the government,,,,but then i wonder,,,,,,,,,is it too late,,,,or lets just find another country,,and trade them for this freezing wet shithole ,,since they all want to move here anyway
im tired of the stupid fucking rants of imigrants who think their entitled to jobs in Canada simply because they have a degree in business or engineering or nail art or whatever the fuck you call an education. your entitlement only reflects your ignorance and im sorry, you will be unpleasantly surprised when you arrive in Canada and slowly notice that nobody gives a shit! Ouuuuuuuu you have a degree and your from a different country? HOW EXOTIC. HERES A JOB.
boo fuckin hoo!
Montreal? aha, ok first of all i like canada, moved to many countries, such as the US, germany, China, Australia and in my 18 years of life, i find canada to be the safest and welcoming. Now, when you say Canadians are brainwashed by their government, were not, we know what were up against, and if people like some other country so be it, go there. and to all the people saying “wheres the beaches?” then don’t go to fucking montreal to complain. move. simple as that.
Oh and you can’t define Montreal as Canada, theres many more cities out there that actually are filled with culture, life and all that. I live in Alberta, its a nice place, no discrimination(which i hate from the experience i had in the US) and education? go to a better school that offers a higher standard of academic excellence.
To all you US loving people out there, i love the US, i have family there and friends there, but im staying here. Such a scary place to live in. I was in New York then in Michigan and holy, its scary shit there. aha but either way, i just wanted to share my side of the story.
Hilarious article, satirical or not.
I’ve read through most of the comments on this page, and I think that Mohamed quite eloquently painted a very accurate picture of Canada.
I moved here from the UK three years ago, having lived in Mexico as well prior to the move. I have to say it is quite a grim place to live in. It’s only fair to start with the pros and cons.
The pros are that the economy is quite healthy and the GDP is growing, therefore opportunity present in almost every industry. The universities and colleges across the board are at high standard, and it is a safe country to live in, with crime being relatively low. Living in Ontario, the summers are generally quite pleasant, warm and dry weather.
Now on to the cons. I’ll start with money, since that is unfortunately quite an crucial factor in all of our lives, whether we like it or not. I consider myself well traveled, particularly for my age, but I can assure you that I have never set foot in a more expensive place than Canada. The prices are absolutely astronomical, and I’m talking everything. Rent is a lot higher than it should be, I rented a one bedroomed apartment, in a really rough area and the best deal I could get was $1150 per month. Networks?? Rogers and Bell are actually regulated monopolies. Two network providers that run the show, they charge you whatever they want to. I was paying $85 dollars a month, for a very basic phone contract on a blackberry, they also charge you for caller ID haha, you need to pay extra to know who is calling you, even if they are on your phone book contact list. Car insurance?? Forget it, coming from a foreign country, doesn’t matter if you came from the UK and have driven for 25 years, without a single claim, you will still start at $250 dollars a month, for a 4 door saloon.. It is unbelievable.Groceries are a joke, restaurants, there isn’t much choice to be honest, and you’re paying through the nose wherever you go.
Nightlife.. A big part of my life since I’m a student and I love going out and dancing and having a good time. Forget it. If you live in downtown Toronto maybe you’re a bit luckier, but most university/college towns really lack variety and choices of clubs. There is one nightclub in my town, and there’s over 350,000 people there. Not to diss Canadians but their taste in music (or at least the music they play in bars/clubs) is nothing short of abysmal, top 40 and country, that’s it. Nothing from the 90s or 80s at all. No classics ever get played! I’m a very outgoing person, I speak 3 languages and I pride myself on being able to converse with literally anybody, but I struggle to make friends here, I have a few but, far less than I deserve.
Families.. If you have kids, teenagers or younger, if you want them to participate in sport, soccer, hockey, you have to pay incomprehensible fees for your kid to actually be part of a team. My friend had to pay 5 thousand dollars a year for his 8 year old son to be enrolled in the regional hockey league, and it’s the cheapest team he could’ve went to. So you do the math, what’s a parent going to do? A playstation3 costs about 300 bucks.. a season of hockey costs 5 grand.. It’s a sad state of affairs.
Dental care is another issue, a friend of mine got braces put in as he wanted to correct his bite, and it cost him 6 thousand dollars. In my country it’s free, well, it’s paid for by taxes, but not here baby!
Canada bangs on about universal healthcare, we have the same in the UK but they refuse to treat people if their cancer has progressed beyond a certain stage, there are many problems with universal healthcare, don’t get me wrong I think it’s nice that the government takes care of people, poor or rich.
The weather will piss a hell of a lot of people off, I’m not that upset about winter, but winters are a bit long I have to say. Sometimes the snow starts to fall in November, and it doesn’t clear up until mid April, now that’s a bit depressing.
Overall, it’s rather unexciting, and monotonous. Some people may very well prefer that, but I quite like an exciting horizon, I love to take on new things and seize opportunities, and Canada isn’t really the place for that.
I’ve tried to be as impartial as I can, if you’ve read all of this, I appreciate it. I have no vendetta against Canadians, I’m just telling it how it is.
I list to all this anti- Canada rants and think to myself…REALLY? REALLY? Comparing Canada to the USA….REALLY? Well, I live in Southern Ontario and Travel to the U.S often. And I’m not a US hater. But REALLY? You people cut up our “Social programs” Our “Health Care” ” Weather” Really??
He’s the truth, The USA is more entertain then Canada hands down. But, Canada is getting there. Here are some facts: The U.S has great architecture, but outside that, its a scary place to live. The Crime is something there, poverty like you wouldn’t believe. What if your a low income citizen and get hurt? how do u pay for that? People breaking in to houses and raping kids and killing people for 100 bucks….You people could say all you want about Canada, I still think we live way better, US is to violent, your cities are terrible with Crime and poverty. Yes, Canada is boring in some cities, but i’ll take that over having 20 locks on my door. I love visiting USA, some great people, but to Scary to live…..Checkout top cities to live in the world and top Countries. Now look at Canada over the last 10 years and look at USA. (Human Development Index) Usa is 4th and Canada is 6th, but look over the last 10years. Canada Ranks 1st for many many many years…..