You know the saying, “you know the type” when it comes to THAT GUY or THAT GIRL you saw…well I’m here today to talk about THAT TYPE. This will likely be a bit different from your school, since we have such a weird ensemble of kids here, and have such an odd way of doing things. But you, Soon To Be College Freshman, when you have your little ID and dorm key worn around your neck, you’ll see that you, too, fit into one of these groups. So let’s dive in, shall we?
Since I started with it, The Freshman- The absolute easiest way to ID the Freshman is, like I said, by the all-purpose lanyard. Usually worn around the neck, it keeps your dorm key and ID card safely out of harms way (until you lose BOTH things at the same time, or lock it in your room, in which case you have to call your creepy roommate and hope he’s around and you don’t have to owe him a favor later on…). This lanyard was probably provided free of charge, and sports the Campus Activities Board (or equivalent) logo in some God awful font and color. The Freshman is usually slow walking, and takes the most indirect way to his class, and may even be sporting a trendy CAMPUS MAP! Oh, also, the Freshman often wears LOTS of school pride gear. Now, I have a few Drexel shirts and all, but they’re in the rotation, not everyday wear. AND, to my credit, I think I’ve paid, at most, 6 bucks for something with the school’s logo on it. Not that 70 bucks they’re charging at the bookstore for a hoodie. I was being sarcastic as I wrote 70 bucks, but looking up that image…that shirt is actually SIXTY FIVE GOD DAMNED DOLLARS! That’s half a third of a textbook! (Which reminds me of how only Freshman actually buy textbooks from the bookstore).
Wow, that’s a lot of rambling on the Freshman…let’s look at his polar opposite, The Senior (not to be confused with The Graduate). The Senior, at least around these parts, is actually a bit of a rare site. Drexel has an exceptionally high drop out rate for a major university. Combine that with the fact that in the few years since I was a freshman, they’ve increased the admission of freshman like threefold, Seniors are quite the minority. You’ll probably only find them in the 400 level classes you share with them (if you are also a Senior, or ambitious/over ambitious/snot nosed/professor’s dick sucking Sophomore/etc), or in 100 level into classes to boost their GPAs and keep them as full time students (how the hell did I only get an A- in Com 150-Principles of Public Speaking?!) The Senior is usually not dressed as extremely as the Freshman, mostly due to growing the fuck up. Many Seniors actually work part time in professional jobs, or are attending class part-time while going back to school. Seniors often dress in Drexel Casual style (which is pretty much the same as business casual). Not me, I’m a t-shirt and jeans kinda guy.
The Douche- What can I say about this one? Too easy. You know em. They wear their high school varsity football jacket and pound Natty Ice. They love their boyfriends so much except when one of the brothers of Sigma Nu happens to be nearby, in which case, all bets are off. SIGMA NU! NU’s RULE! YEA! Often business majors.
The Engineer- I once tried to convince someone that Drexel was a school for railroading, due to our proximity to 30th Street Station and the Northeast Corridor. (Little did I know I would ACTUALLY be working for a firm whose clients included SEPTA, Amtrak, NJ Transit and the Long Island Railroad….).
The engineer will likely be one or more of the following:
-Asian (inc. Indian)
I managed to escape this, sort of, by switching to Engineering Technology. People actually talk to you, and you can actually make friends. It’s weird.
The Art College Kid- pretty much the same as any other art school kid. It’s tough, though…our indiefuck douches think they’re better than everyone else, but Drexel is certainly NOT known for its liberal arts programs. Nor for its political scene. Nor its music scene….
I was going to really go on and rail on a few kids specifically, but then I came across this…
Click it, scroll down. Creepy. And I don’t want them hunting me down, since now they REALLY know what I look like. I look forward to the angry letter I’m undoubtedly going to get from the university’s legal department. Maybe I’ll luck out and they’ll just sick one of their law students on me. Which reminds me of the joke about how convenient it was the Drexel, who opened their School of Law shortly after aquiring their own College of Medicine, now has BOTH ends of the ambulance chaser crowd covered.
Hopefully, I’ll be graduated before it gets to that. And COME ON, Drexel, a FRIDAY class? My SENIOR year? How weak is that?